Whether it’s food, beauty products, or the state of our home, describing something as ‘clean’ also implies there is ‘dirty’, an idea that carries a lot of guilt and shame. In this week’s episode, Brooke and Ben dig into a new duality by looking at food, home, green-cleaning and more.

Ben talks about the brosphere — specifically the rise of ‘clean eating’ and its impact on boys and young men — and Brooke talks about her conflicted feelings on individual responsibility versus industry accountability. Ben also shares his honest take on Brooke’s hardcore green-cleaning and no-shampoo hippie eras, as well as the tidiness of their house as a barometer of mental well-being and why the internet will never agree on how often to clean the walls.

They also talk about:

· dropping their standards

· why kids can be a balancing influence on all-or-nothing thinking

· using righteous anger to fuel our enoughness

· making small changes in the face of systemic problems

· quality versus quantity and how a bit of fussiness isn’t a bad thing

· the painful gap between the why and how of things

· knowing when a fight is worthwhile and when it’s not

· the importance of language around food and health and why men and women experience it differently

· what it means to be ‘houseproud’

· QUIZ: how often do you need to clean a ____?

Thanks for listening!

Links:

Find everything mentioned in today’s show at brookemcalary.substack.com

Become a paying supporter of ttath and get double the episodes! Weekly shows delivered straight to your inbox for just $8AUD/month or $80AUD/yr.

If video is your jam, subscribe to our YouTube channel @thetortoiseandthehare

Access the full, human-made transcript here

Credits:

the tortoise & the hare is a McAlary Media production.

Produced and hosted by Brooke McAlary and Ben McAlary

Edited by Ben McAlary

Studio equipment supplied by shot.studio

Theme music is Edgar Allan Poe by Modern Aquatic

In today’s episode, Brooke and Ben dive into different ways of thinking — open and closed, fixed and fluid and whatever exists in between. They discuss their different approaches to rule-following, how they deal with opinion chameleons and why finding common ground is one of the most effective ways to have a constructive conversation.

Ben also explains why he loves playing the devil’s advocate (and why Brooke finds it infuriating!) and finishes with a hard-hitting question: rigid or flexible lollies — which is better?

They discuss:

hypersensitivity

Brooke’s EMDR experience

dealing with narrow-minded people

chameleon opinions and why they’re so confusing

rule-followers vs rebels

improving cognitive flexibility

how to engage different opinions without losing your mind

why hope hurts sometimes

the great lolly debate: rigid vs flexible

Thanks for listening!

Links:

Find everything mentioned in today’s show at brookemcalary.substack.com

Credits:

the tortoise & the hare is a McAlary Media production.

Produced and hosted by Brooke McAlary and Ben McAlary

Edited by Ben McAlary

Studio equipment supplied by shot.studio

Theme music is Edgar Allan Poe by Modern Aquatic

When it comes to age and youth, body image takes a beating at both ends. Can we find a gentler way through the years?

In today’s show, Brooke and Ben discuss the duality of wrinkles & pimples — i.e. the visible elements of youth and aging — and how they are literally in the middle of it right now, with both wrinkles and pimples (and grey hair and stiff backs in the morning).

They discuss:

- changing body image in their mid-40s- why gender-affirming care (including hair removal, plastic surgery, make-up and hormone therapy) should be accessible to everyone- the changing role of body image for boys and men over the past decade- what our faces and bodies are actually for- the billionaires who want to live forever and go to great lengths to avoid aging

Thanks for listening!

Links:

- Find everything mentioned in today’s show at brookemcalary.substack.com - Become a paying supporter of ttath and get double the episodes! Weekly shows delivered straight to your inbox for just $5AUD/month for a limited time- If video is your jam, subscribe to our YouTube channel @thetortoiseandthehare

Credits:

- the tortoise & the hare is a McAlary Media production.- Produced and hosted by Brooke McAlary and Ben McAlary- Edited by Ben McAlary- Studio equipment supplied by shot.studio- Theme music is Edgar Allan Poe by Modern Aquatic