Many gay men reach adulthood feeling like life is just beginning while everyone else seems years ahead. Dating, identity exploration, sexuality, and community may all start later, creating the feeling that you're somehow “behind.”

Psychologists sometimes describe this experience as a second adolescence.

In this episode, Dustin explores the psychology behind why many gay men go through a second developmental stage after coming out. Drawing on research in LGBTQ identity development, minority stress, and belonging, he explains why this period can feel both exhilarating and chaotic. From intense friendships to unstable dating experiences and the pressure to “make up for lost time,” this episode examines why these patterns exist and what they actually mean.

Connect with boy meets therapy:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Blog: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/blog⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Work with Me: ⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/work-with-me⁠

Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

Many gay men carry a quiet fear that they are behind in life. Behind in relationships, confidence, career, or emotional maturity. It can feel like everyone else got a head start while you are still figuring things out.

In this episode, we explore why that feeling is so common and why it does not mean you have failed. Growing up gay often changes the timeline of development. When identity, dating, and belonging are delayed by stigma or concealment, those experiences do not disappear. They happen later.

We talk about second adolescence, minority stress, social comparison, and the pressure to catch up, along with how to move forward without urgency or shame.

You are not behind. You started under different conditions.

Connect with boy meets therapy:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Blog: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/blog⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Work with Me: www.boymeetstherapy.com/work-with-me

Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver

In this episode, I sit down with therapist and friend Jordan Schatz to explore ADHD across the lifespan, from childhood to adulthood. We talk about what ADHD actually is, why so many people are diagnosed later in life, and how challenges like time blindness, executive functioning difficulties, and emotional overwhelm show up in everyday life.

We also discuss relationships, self-esteem, parenting, and the experience of feeling behind or different from others. We touch on how ADHD can intersect with identity and masking, and what self-acceptance can look like for neurodivergent people.

And yes, there’s a little bit of chaos and kiki too.

Whether you have ADHD, love someone who does, or are trying to better understand your brain, this conversation offers insight, validation, and practical takeaways.

Connect with Jordan Schatz:

Instagram: @theadhdguru_

TikTok: @theadhdguru

All Links: Click Here

Connect with boy meets therapy:

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@boymeetstherapy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Website with Free Resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠boymeetstherapy.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Blog: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.boymeetstherapy.com/blog⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver