Your Church Was Built for a Family That Is Disappearing
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91% of pastors are married. Only 46% of the adults they're trying to reach are.
Today, we'll unpack how the American family has changed - and two simple exercises to spot the assumptions your church doesn't know it's making.
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Table of Contents:
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0:00 - Intro
0:49 - The Asymmetrical Report - 91% vs 46%
6:05 - 1. The "Normal Family" Is Now the Minority
7:49 - 2. Pastors Live in a Different Reality
12:27 - 3. We Want Their Labor More Than Their Lives
14:25 - 4. Adulthood No Longer Follows a Tidy Timeline
19:58 - Exercise 1 - Audit Ten Sermons
27:00 - Exercise 2 - Test Six Real People
29:33 - Final Thoughts
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ALL CITATIONS
BARNA GROUP
- "2025 Family Trends" (2025) — PRIMARY https://www.barna.com/research/2025-family-trends/
- "Pastors and Today's Families" — PRIMARY https://www.barna.com/trends/pastors-and-todays-families/
U.S. CENSUS BUREAU
- "Families and Living Arrangements" (2025) — PRIMARY https://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2025/families-and-living-arrangements.html
- "Milestones to Adulthood" (August 2025) — PRIMARY https://www.census.gov/library/stories/2025/08/milestones-to-adulthood.html
LIFEWAY RESEARCH
- "Pastors Minister to Single Adults, Some Provide Specific Ministries for Them" (August 2022) — PRIMARY https://research.lifeway.com/2022/08/16/pastors-minister-to-single-adults-some-provide-specific-ministries-for-them/
PEW RESEARCH CENTER
- Adults living without a spouse or partner (2023 data) — study not specified in script
ABOUT ME
Well hey there! I'm Brady Shearer, the creator and director of Pro Church Tools. I started this channel more than 10 years ago. Today our company is a team of 30+ creatives dedicated to helping your church navigate the biggest communication shift in 500 years.