If you tell a boy he’s toxic and he won’t change, he’ll go find someone who tells him he’s fine, and that someone is usually online and usually selling something.

Philicia and Jason take apart the term "toxic masculinity": where it actually came from (a man, not feminist theory), why it was the first language many survivors had for harm, and why "be less toxic" gives a boy nothing to work on. They get into what the manosphere is really selling, the viral "straight or gay picture" reel, stoicism as unpaid emotional labor, bell hooks’ integrity and the princess dress story, the friendship recession (15% of men report no close friends), shoulder-to-shoulder friendship, third places, why women being the default therapist serves no one, and the four kinds of intimacy.

The Did You Consider holds space for Nolan Wells and for survivors watching the campus cases unfold.

Content note: themes of sexual assault are discussed; skip timestamps and support resources are below.


00:00 – Is “Toxic Masculinity” Doing More Harm Than Good?
04:40 – The Origins of Toxic Masculinity and the Manosphere
09:20 – Traditional Masculinity, Homophobia, and Emotional Suppression
17:19 – Male Friendships, Loneliness, and Emotional Intimacy
30:26 – Accountability, Sexual Assault, and Rethinking Masculinity


Question of the week: Do you think "toxic masculinity" is useful language, or is it time for clearer language? Tell us what you’re seeing in the culture that needs the same lens.


Listen: Spotify open.spotify.com/show/1DgARCNhJ61sey1nuabM6Z
Follow: instagram.com/weightandwonderpodcast | tiktok.com/@weightandwonder
Jason: linkedin.com/in/jasonlherndon | somemen.substack.com
Philicia: instagram.com/byphilicia | villageofsoundmind.co | byphilicia.substack.com

For educational purposes only; not a substitute for therapy.

#toxicmasculinity