Have you ever said “I’m fine” while quietly feeling overwhelmed? Sometimes staying busy helps us avoid the conversation—or the request for support—we need to have.

Welcome to Day 11 of Unstuck Patterns: A 100-Day Journey of Turning North. Today, we explore “The Pharisee Trap” through Matthew 23:25–28: what happens when keeping the outside polished becomes more important than honestly examining what is within?

I share my painted-shoebox object lesson and how my desire to help others slipped into production mode while connection needed my attention. Together, we reflect on Jesus’ longing to gather Jerusalem in Matthew 23:37–39 and explore how escape or avoidance can keep us reaching for another task.

Being exhausted, anxious, or needing help does not make you a hypocrite. This is an invitation to examine your patterns with honesty and bring your actual life before the Lord. We are pattern detectives, not judges!

🧰 TODAY’S TOOL: THE INSIDE-OUT CHECK

1. Outside: What am I working hard to keep looking fine?

2. Inside: What need or conversation am I staying busy to avoid?

3. Next step: What is one honest step I can take today?

📖 ANCHOR SCRIPTURE

Matthew 23:25–28

Also discussed: Matthew 23:37–39

🎵 TODAY’S RECOMMENDED SONG

“Out of Hiding (Father’s Song)” — Steffany Gretzinger

https://bethelmusic.com/resources/the-undoing/out-of-hiding-fathers-song

🤍 HEART INSCRIPTION

“I can come to Jesus honestly. I do not have to keep looking fine to admit that I need help.”

You’re welcome to share one expectation you’re ready to release in the comments—without sharing anything you would rather keep private.

🌸 Sweet Monday — Mentioned in This Episode

In this episode, I share part of my story with Sweet Monday—a Christian women’s ministry centered on friendship, hospitality, and sharing Jesus. If you’re looking for community or feel called to gather women together, learn more here:

🌐 Websitehttps://sweetmonday.org/

📘 Facebookhttps://www.facebook.com/sweetmondaysocials/

🌐 Explore Unstuck Patterns and its resources:

https://unstuck-patterns.stephanie-cox1.chatgpt.site/

🎙️ Listen to the Unstuck Patterns Podcast:

https://open.spotify.com/show/033SUEfG0c3Hdg5yO4Eb47

🎵 Follow the Turn North Playlist:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7JkjmBfBoLkGSRJa5TdHF8

I add each day’s recommended song as we move through this devotional—a growing collection for worship, reflection, and time with the Lord.

🎥 Visit Unstuck Patterns on YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@unstuckpatterns

📧 Questions or want to share your story?

UnstuckPatternsCoaching@gmail.com

If this episode encouraged you, please follow or subscribe and share it with someone who needs encouragement today.

🧭 You are not stuck. You are becoming. Keep turning north.

#UnstuckPatterns #ChristianDevotional #TurnNorth

How do you stop comparing yourself to others—and what might comparison be helping you receive or avoid?

In Day 10, “The Stronghold of Comparison,” we explore Peter’s “What about him?” moment, my temptation to stop building Unstuck Patterns until I finish graduate school, and why someone else’s established season is not evidence that you are behind.

Behavior analysis teaches us to look beyond what a behavior looks like and ask what purpose—or function—it may be serving. In this episode, we introduce the four common functions of behavior:

• Attention or connection

• Escape or avoidance

• Access

• Automatic reinforcement

Today’s featured function is attention or connection.

We often hear the phrase “attention-seeking” and immediately view it negatively. But sometimes the behavior we see on the surface may be communicating a deeper need:

“Please see me.”

“Please stay close to me.”

“I need to know that I can still reach you.”

Through Disney’s live-action Moana and a tender lesson from my five-year-old daughter, Briar, we explore what it means to look beneath an outward reaction and become curious about the need it may be communicating.

Briar has learned to express her need for connection by saying:

“Mommy, I need some love.”

There is no shame in needing connection. The goal is to recognize the pattern and learn to express that need more directly.

Today’s behavior tool is The Function Check:

• What happened immediately before the comparison?

• What did you do?

• What happened immediately afterward?

• What did the pattern help you get—or help you avoid?

📖 Anchor Scripture: Galatians 6:4

👤 Biblical Mentor: Peter

🧭 Behavior Tool: The Function Check

🔎 Featured Function: Attention or Connection

🎵 Companion Song: “Fix My Eyes” by for KING & COUNTRY

You can find the companion song and the other songs recommended throughout this journey on Spotify by searching for the Unstuck Patterns: Turn North Playlist.

Someone else’s established season is not evidence that you are behind. This may not be your season of being widely seen—it may be your season of being deeply prepared.

Explore Unstuck Patterns:

https://unstuck-patterns.stephanie-cox1.chatgpt.site

I am a graduate student sharing what I am learning about behavior analysis and how I apply these concepts to everyday patterns. This content is educational and faith-based and is not individualized behavioral or mental-health treatment.

You are not stuck. You are becoming. Keep turning north. 💛🧭

#StopComparing #ChristianEncouragement #UnstuckPatterns

Why do we keep reaching for temporary comfort—even when we know it will not truly satisfy us?

Sometimes we reach for food, our phones, distractions, familiar routines, or anything that gives us a moment of relief. The comfort may be real, but it does not always reach the deeper thirst underneath it.

In Day 9 of the Unstuck Patterns devotional journey, “The Comfort Seeker,” we meet the woman at the well in John 4. She arrived looking for ordinary water, but she encountered Jesus—the One who already knew her story and offered her living water. After meeting Him, she ran back to town with her heart on fire, eager to tell others about the One she had found!

In this episode, we’ll talk about:

• Why we reach for temporary comfort

• What may be hiding beneath our cravings

• The difference between temporary relief and lasting satisfaction

• How Jesus meets the deeper thirst of our hearts

• A simple water-bottle practice that can help us pause and turn toward God

Each time you take a drink of water today, pause and ask:

“What am I reaching for right now?”

You do not have to shame yourself for needing comfort. Instead, you can become curious about what your heart is truly seeking—and bring that need to Jesus.

Anchor Scripture: Jeremiah 2:13 (NASB)

Mentor: The Woman at the Well

Toolkit Action: The Thirst Check

Song Recommendation: “The Well” by Casting Crowns

You are not stuck. You are becoming. Keep turning north. 🧭

Subscribe and follow along with the 100-Day Unstuck Patterns devotional journey as we move from survival patterns to sustainable rhythms through faith in Jesus Christ.

Unstuck Patterns website:

https://unstuck-patterns.stephanie-cox1.chatgpt.site

#ChristianDevotional #FindingComfortInGod #WomanAtTheWell #EmotionalEating #UnstuckPatterns #ChristianEncouragement #FaithBasedHealing #Day9