In this episode, Kate discusses strategies to manage the chaos of the Christmas season using a simple system called the 3Ds: deal with it, delegate it, or dump it. She emphasizes the importance of planning ahead and taking care of oneself during the busy holiday period.

Takeaways

• Embrace the 3Ds system
• Prioritize self-care during holidays

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction to Christmas Chaos
• 01:00 The 3Ds System Explained
• 06:01 Implementing the 3Ds for a Stress-Free Christmas

We tend to think workplace bullying only flows one way, from the boss down. But a job title isn’t the only source of power at work, and sometimes the person being worn down is the manager.

This episode grew out of conversations with friends about highly capable women who seem to quietly step away from the workforce in their mid-fifties and beyond. Their reasons were all different: redundancy, ageism, fierce competition for senior roles, and sometimes just being done with other people’s behaviour. One thread kept catching my attention. The difficult behaviour wasn’t always coming from above.

There’s a name for it: upward bullying. To unpack it, I’m joined by Dr Sara Branch from Griffith University, who has spent more than two decades researching workplace bullying, including the kind that runs up the org chart.

In this episode we talk about:

• What upward bullying is, and why it’s still bullying even when the target is the boss
• The informal power staff can hold: information, expertise, networks and who you know
• How going over a manager’s head, gossip and “mobbing” can push someone out
• How grievance processes built to protect people can be turned into weapons
• The fine line between legitimate disagreement and bullying behaviour
• Why so many managers ask “is it me?”, and the shame that keeps them quiet
• Gender, age and why some experienced women decide it’s not worth it (and why the research is still catching up)
• What to do first if something at work doesn’t feel right
• Why a policy and a once-a-year training session aren’t enough

Key takeaways

• Bullying is about power, not position. A manager can be bullied from above, from peers or from below.
• Trust your gut. If something feels off, start writing it down: what happened, when, and what didn’t add up.
• Don’t carry it alone. Find one person you genuinely trust to talk it through. As Sara says, silence is a bully’s best ally.
• Organisations need to recover, not just respond. Moving the problem elsewhere or rewarding the behaviour sends a message to everyone watching.
• Tick-box training doesn’t fix it. Real change works across individuals, teams and the whole organisation, before, during and after an incident.

About Dr Sara Branch

Sara is a researcher at Griffith University in Queensland whose work focuses on workplace bullying, power and how organisations respond. You can contact her through the Griffith University website.

If this episode stirred something up

If work is weighing on your mental health, you don’t have to sit with it alone.

• Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636, available 24/7
• Lifeline: 13 11 14

Enjoyed this episode?

If this conversation gave you something to think about, please hit like and subscribe so you never miss an episode. It genuinely helps other women find the show. And if you know a manager who’s been quietly carrying this, send the episode to them. Sometimes just hearing that it has a name is the first step.

Connect with Unfiltered & Unbound

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• Website: katebaxtermedia.com.au
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Grab a cuppa. This week is a coffee break episode, a short one, because it's Mental Health Week here in WA, and this year's theme is "Taking control in the face of change". If any stage of life is about change, it's this one.

So I'm revisiting my conversation with clinical psychologist Kirstin Bouse, founder of All About Her – The Centre for Menopause in Perth. If you've always been the capable one, the organiser, the one who copes, and lately you're waking at 3am with your heart pounding or feeling flattened by a to-do list you used to do in your sleep, this one's for you.

You're not broken. You're not failing. And you're definitely not imagining it.

In this episode:

• Why so many women are still told they're "too young" for perimenopause
• What anxiety can look like when it shows up for the first time in midlife
• Why stress seems to hit harder at this stage
• What to take to your GP so you're actually heard
• Why the goal isn't to go back to who you used to be (and why Kirstin wants you to chase joy)

If you heard the full episode, think of this as a refresher you might need right now. If you didn't, the full conversation, including Kirstin's own perimenopause story and much more on burnout and boundaries, is waiting in the feed: [https://open.spotify.com/episode/5gdGjlG5EO21B4Q0RkFJhz?si=T32RKX3wRbOOQc5g4VvmSQ]

Resources mentioned

• All About Her – The Centre for Menopause: [https://www.allabouthercentre.com.au/]
• Menopause symptom checklist (Jean Hailes): [https://www.jeanhailes.org.au/health-topics/menopause/#section-perimenopause-and-menopause-checklist]
• Menopause symptom checklist https://www.menopause.org.au/consumer-information/self-assessment-tools/
• Australasian Menopause Society [https://www.menopause.org.au/about-ams/]

If you need support
This episode is general information, not individual medical or psychological advice. Please don't stop or change any medication without talking to a qualified health professional first.

If anything here brings something heavy up for you, you don't have to sit with it alone:

• Lifeline: 13 11 14 (24 hours, 7 days)
• Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 (24 hours, 7 days)

In an emergency, call 000.

Know a woman who's been quietly struggling? Send this episode to her. Sometimes the kindest thing we can do is say, "I heard this and thought of you."

🎧 Unfiltered & Unbound with Kate Baxter
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