83 - You Don’t Owe Everyone a Relationship

Some relationships are chosen. Others arrive preloaded with expectations, roles, and a quiet assumption that you’re supposed to keep showing up forever.

In this episode of The Unlearning Curve, Stuart Delony, Karl Forehand, and JD talk about relationships, autonomy, and what happens when connection starts feeling more like obligation than choice.

The conversation begins with Fritz Perls’ reminder that none of us are here to live up to someone else’s expectations. From there, we dig into the roles we inherit through family, church, community, friendship, and social convention—and how easily those roles can masquerade as genuine connection.

Karl shares a story about realizing he didn’t actually have to maintain a relationship simply because circumstances had put someone in his orbit. That opens up a broader question: if a relationship only survives because someone feels obligated to stay in it, what exactly are we preserving?

We also talk about belonging and the price people often pay for it. Communities can offer connection, but they can also demand conformity. And if staying connected requires constantly editing yourself into a version other people find acceptable, the relationship may already be costing more than it gives.

Because connection means something precisely because it can be chosen.

In this episode:

• The difference between connection and obligation
• Why assigned roles can create resentment
• Family, friendship, and relationships we inherit rather than choose
• The pressure to maintain connections simply because they already exist
• Setting boundaries without turning them into punishment
• Why you don’t have to be friends with everyone
• Belonging, conformity, and the cost of acceptance
• What happens when authenticity threatens a relationship
• Why freely chosen connection is more meaningful than enforced loyalty
• Learning that walking away can sometimes be an honest response

The Unlearning Curve Podcast

Copyright 2025 - Stuart Delony & Karl Forehand

theunlearningcurvepodcast@gmail.com

While many of us yearn for truth and understanding, the systems we participate in often prevent us from attaining genuine freedom in our everyday lives. As we move away from organized religion, we begin to recognize patterns.

We believe that addressing many of these challenges requires us to examine all aspects of our lives, including:

* Toxic Leaders

* Toxic/Dangerous Organizations

* Our Mental Well-Being

* The Things We Learn on the Journey

Regardless of your belief system, we encourage you to unlearn anything that doesn’t benefit you. This will lead to healing and uncover a new way forward!

JD Forehand is the son of a preacher and an overseas educator. Stuart Delony is a former pastor, podcaster, and blogger for the Snarky Faith community. Karl Forehand is a former pastor who runs The Desert Sanctuary, a home for spiritual nomads, with his wife, Laura.

Disclaimer: We view ourselves as practitioners on a journey of discovery rather than as experts. While we strive to share our experiences and the lessons we’re unlearning transparently, we will also refer you to professionals when necessary. Trusted guides will arrive when you need them.

Feel free to share your thoughts, concerns, and any necessary corrections with Karl (karl4hand@gmail.com) or Stuart (stuartdelony@gmail.com). You can also visit our Facebook page, The Unlearning Curve.

82 - If God Wrote the Bible, It Should Be Better

If the Bible is supposed to be the perfect word of God, why does it look so much like something written by people?

In this episode of The Unlearning Curve, Stuart Delony, Karl Forehand, and JD take on biblical authority, inspiration, and the assumptions many Christians inherit about scripture without ever being encouraged to examine them.

The conversation starts with a simple challenge: if God wrote the Bible, shouldn’t it be better?

From there, we dig into contradictions, historical context, patriarchal interpretations, and the problem with treating a collection of ancient writings as though it were a single, seamless instruction manual for every person in every century.

We also talk about what gets lost when letters written to specific communities are turned into universal commands. Pulling one passage out of context and declaring it eternally binding can look a lot like grabbing one email from the middle of a long thread and insisting you now understand the whole conversation.

And beneath all of it is a larger question: when Christians say “the Bible says,” who actually gets to decide what the Bible means?

Because interpretation never disappears. Someone is always choosing which passages matter, which context gets ignored, which contradictions need explaining, and which ancient instructions somehow still apply.

In this episode:

• Why biblical authority deserves scrutiny
• Inspiration, inerrancy, and divine authorship
• Reading the Bible as a library rather than a single book
• Why historical and cultural context matters
• Paul’s letters and the problem of universalizing correspondence
• How scripture has been used to reinforce patriarchy
• Contradictions and competing voices within the biblical text
• The difference between valuing scripture and surrendering authority to it
• Who actually gets to decide what “the Bible says”

The Unlearning Curve Podcast

Copyright 2025 - Stuart Delony & Karl Forehand

theunlearningcurvepodcast@gmail.com

While many of us yearn for truth and understanding, the systems we participate in often prevent us from attaining genuine freedom in our everyday lives. As we move away from organized religion, we begin to recognize patterns.

We believe that addressing many of these challenges requires us to examine all aspects of our lives, including:

* Toxic Leaders

* Toxic/Dangerous Organizations

* Our Mental Well-Being

* The Things We Learn on the Journey

Regardless of your belief system, we encourage you to unlearn anything that doesn’t benefit you. This will lead to healing and uncover a new way forward!

JD Forehand is the son of a preacher and an overseas educator. Stuart Delony is a former pastor, podcaster, and blogger for the Snarky Faith community. Karl Forehand is a former pastor who runs The Desert Sanctuary, a home for spiritual nomads, with his wife, Laura.

Disclaimer: We view ourselves as practitioners on a journey of discovery rather than as experts. While we strive to share our experiences and the lessons we’re unlearning transparently, we will also refer you to professionals when necessary. Trusted guides will arrive when you need them.

Feel free to share your thoughts, concerns, and any necessary corrections with Karl (karl4hand@gmail.com) or Stuart (stuartdelony@gmail.com). You can also visit our Facebook page, The Unlearning Curve.

Dolly Parton: Faith, Generosity, and a Life Bigger Than Dogma

Dolly Parton spent her life talking openly about faith. Somehow, she also avoided turning it into a weapon.

In this episode of The Unlearning Curve, Stuart Delony, Karl Forehand, and JD reflect on Dolly Parton’s life, legacy, and the version of Christianity she embodied—one built less around policing other people and more around actually loving them.

We talk about Dolly’s journey from poverty in East Tennessee to global fame, her remarkable generosity, the Imagination Library, and her willingness to remain inclusive even when parts of her Christian audience pushed back.

There’s also the business side of Dolly: an artist who could be generous without pretending her work had no value. From retaining control of her music to refusing deals that required giving away ownership, she showed that kindness and boundaries aren't mutually exclusive.

And beneath it all is a larger question: Why did Dolly’s faith seem so different from the Christianity that dominates so much of American public life?

Maybe because she spent considerably less time deciding who deserved love and considerably more time giving it.

In this episode:

• Remembering Dolly Parton and her cultural legacy
• Growing up poor without romanticizing poverty
• The faith that shaped Dolly—and the dogma she refused to inherit wholesale
• Her support for LGBTQ+ people despite religious criticism
• The Imagination Library and generosity as something you actually do
• Why generosity doesn’t require surrendering ownership or boundaries
• Dolly, Elvis, and I Will Always Love You
• The difference between professing Christian values and practicing them
• What Dolly’s life says about faith, humanity, and leaving the world better than you found it

The Unlearning Curve Podcast

Copyright 2025 - Stuart Delony & Karl Forehand

theunlearningcurvepodcast@gmail.com

While many of us yearn for truth and understanding, the systems we participate in often prevent us from attaining genuine freedom in our everyday lives. As we move away from organized religion, we begin to recognize patterns. We believe that addressing many of these challenges requires us to examine all aspects of our lives, including:

* Toxic Leaders

* Toxic/Dangerous Organizations

* Our Mental Well-Being

* The Things We Learn on the Journey

Regardless of your belief system, we encourage you to unlearn anything that doesn’t benefit you. This will lead to healing and uncover a new way forward!

JD Forehand is the son of a preacher and an overseas educator. Stuart Delony is a former pastor, podcaster, and blogger for the Snarky Faith community. Karl Forehand is a former pastor who runs The Desert Sanctuary, a home for spiritual nomads, with his wife, Laura.

Disclaimer: We view ourselves as practitioners on a journey of discovery rather than as experts. While we strive to share our experiences and the lessons we’re unlearning transparently, we will also refer you to professionals when necessary. Trusted guides will arrive when you need them.

Feel free to share your thoughts, concerns, and any necessary corrections with Karl (karl4hand@gmail.com) or Stuart (stuartdelony@gmail.com). You can also visit our Facebook page, The Unlearning Curve.

The Unlearning Curve is a conversation about dismantling what we inherited, keeping what matters, and figuring out what comes next.