In this episode of Name What Works, Ashley Radzat talks with her longtime friend Tobi Becerra about the reality of being in the sandwich generation: raising a teenager while also caring for aging parents.

Tobi shares how her life changed when her parents lost expected income and her mom’s medical needs increased. Instead of her parents being the active support system she imagined, Tobi now finds herself helping manage their lives while also being a wife, mother, and professional.

Ashley and Tobi talk about the identity shift that happens when someone who chose to parent one child suddenly feels like they are “mothering” their parents too. Tobi explains that the different roles can bleed together, making it impossible to be her best self everywhere at once.

A major theme is honest communication. Tobi explains that her family does not hide the hard moments. Instead, they talk about misplaced anger, emotional overload, and what everyone needs. Ashley connects this to the importance of helping kids fill in the story instead of leaving them to guess.

The conversation also explores self-care, boundaries, and taking life one step at a time. Tobi shares that she tries to protect her energy through exercise, sleep, good food, a calming space, and permission to shut down when she needs to.

In this episode:

● What it means to be in the sandwich generation

● How caregiving changes your identity

● Why parents do not have to be perfect

● How honest conversations create safety

● Why kids need context, not secrecy

● How to respond instead of just react

● Why self-care is not a deficiency

● How to take one bite at a time

This episode is a reminder that family life does not require perfection. It requires honesty, compassion, boundaries, and the willingness to keep showing up, even when life feels messy.