"I might get a lot of hate messages after this podcast, and it's okay." In this solo episode of The Sacred We, Mike records the one he waited years to make: a firm, loving call for men to stop hiding and grow up.

Adopted twice in his first year, kicked out on graduation day, a marriage lost to pot, porn, doom scrolling and audiobooks, Mike shares how avoidance cost him the woman he loved and how a decade of men's work turned him into the man he is now.

If you've ever tried to fix her feelings instead of feeling your own, this one is for you. You'll hear why triggers are the parts you haven't learned to love yet, why women need men who can contain without repressing, and what "strong back, soft front" looks like on a car ride home with Courtney.

Chapters:
0:00 Why I might get hate for this episode
1:14 Welcome to The Sacred We
2:18 The most triggering episode I've recorded
3:40 Avoidance is fear of being seen
4:01 Adopted twice in my first year
5:01 Kicked out on graduation day
7:16 Marriage, worthlessness and coping
11:45 If you can't feel, you can't heal
13:44 When she left, I woke up
15:05 Quitting every substance
16:07 A decade of men's work
18:58 This version of man
22:29 Find your soul family
24:09 Men, do your work
26:36 A little boy in man's clothing
29:51 What you get when you do the work
33:45 Learning to let love in
34:45 What my mother needed from men
38:50 Women need men growing up
40:44 Contain her, don't repress her
43:40 Gentle power on the drive home
47:06 Stop running, stop hiding
49:34 Thanks for tuning in

Mentioned in this episode:
Being Man (online men's group):
https://www.beingman.com/

Date with Destiny by Tony Robbins:
https://www.tonyrobbins.com/events/date-with-destiny/

Email Mike:
"My email's down in the description. Shoot me a personal email." Tell him what came up:
transform@itsmikeelliott.com

Connect With Us:
The Sacred We:
https://thesacredwe.com

Bringing the Oracle to Him:
https://www.courtneywren.com/bring-your-oracle-to-him

Rebirth 1:1 with Courtney:
https://www.courtneywren.com/containers

Work with Mike:
https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/coaching

Email: relating@courtneywren.com | transform@itsmikeelliott.com
Instagram: @courtneywren.relating | @mikeelliott.relating

What if the ache you keep trying to quiet is the very thing that brings him back to you? In this solo episode, Courtney Wren shares why longing isn't something to fix, numb or fire at your partner. It's a sacred practice, and it may be the most magnetic thing a woman can learn to hold.

Courtney takes us through the myth of Radha and Krishna. Radha, the goddess of eternal longing, loses her beloved when Krishna is called back to the palace. She doesn't shut her heart. She stays with the grief and devotes herself to the longing, until a messenger Krishna sends to check on her finds her laughing and playing in the village, and she tells him, "Krishna is everywhere."

From there Courtney gets personal: her longing for a daughter, the moments she wasn't met in her pain, and how getting clear inside her own longing has, again and again, drawn Mike to move toward her with the exact words she was aching to hear. She names the three ways we abandon our longing (numbing it, raging at it, or never letting ourselves want at all), the "desireless desire" that can hold it, and the grief that lives in every relationship, even the one you're meant to be in.

The teaching underneath is simple and tender: when a woman learns to stay with her longing instead of silencing it, she stops chasing love and starts magnetizing it. It deepens her relationship with herself, it initiates the masculine, and it changes the whole field between you.

Questions to sit with:
Do I let myself really feel my longing? How do I defend or protect myself from it? Do I let myself feel the grief, despair and loss in it? Can I hold it without getting reactive or needing to do something right away?

Episodes Courtney mentions:
Relationship as Spiritual Practice with Chameli Ardagh:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/78elzlqNaIMlhYPQ06nKj9

Sacred Sexuality: Alchemy of Desire with Justin Patrick Pierce & Londin Angel Winters:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/71kh1nOlAKylCzdIyaBZg2

Connect With Us:
Bringing the Oracle to Him (Courtney's free offering):
https://www.courtneywren.com/bring-your-oracle-to-him

Sign up for our couples list:
https://www.thesacredwe.com/thesacredwe

Rebirth 1:1 with Courtney:
https://www.courtneywren.com/containers

Work with Mike:
https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/coaching

Email: transform@itsmikeelliott.com | relating@courtneywren.com
Instagram: @mikeelliott.relating | @courtneywren.relating

If you have a hard time holding space for your partner's emotions, it's because somebody didn't hold space for yours. 💛

In this solo episode of The Sacred We, Mike gets really honest about the road from a sensitive boy who was told to cheer up, to a man who coped with porn, pot, cigarettes, the gym and dating, to the moment at 30 when another man held space for him and he finally cried.

That one experience changed everything: his marriage, his work, and the way he loves. Mike shares why coping only ever brings short relief, why "a man who does not grieve will wreak havoc on the world," and why love has to come from the outside in before you can offer it from the inside out.

If you've ever felt like a little boy in a man's body, or you keep trying to fix your partner's feelings instead of feeling your own, this one is for you. You'll also hear the simple homework that changed Mike's life. You gotta feel the heal.

Mentioned in this episode:
The Language of Emotions by Karla McLaren:
https://karlamclaren.com/the-language-of-emotions-book/

Connect With Us:
The Sacred We:
https://thesacredwe.com

Bringing the Oracle to Him:
https://www.courtneywren.com/bring-your-oracle-to-him

Rebirth 1:1 with Courtney:
https://www.courtneywren.com/containers

Work with Mike:
https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/coaching

Email: relating@courtneywren.com | transform@itsmikeelliott.com
Instagram: @courtneywren.relating | @mikeelliott.relating