Think about the last hard thing you felt. A comment that stung. A day that went sideways. Now think about who you told first. Was it a person, or was it an app?

This week, we look at what happens in your brain when the first place you turn is a screen instead of someone. This is not an anti-AI episode. It is an honest look at the research on cognitive offloading, connection, and loneliness, and at why the friction in human relationships may be exactly what your nervous system needs.

We get into:

• A GPS moment on a road she has driven for 30 years
• London taxi drivers, spatial memory, and why “use it or lose it” is real
• MIT Media Lab’s early “Your Brain on ChatGPT” study, and why it is a flag, not a verdict
• The hand-holding MRI study that shows how the people we trust calm our stress response
• New 2026 survey data on how many people turn to AI to feel less alone
• Why AI models agree with us so often, and how that connects to dopamine
• Friction and repair as the way relationships, and nervous systems, grow stronger

In this episode, you will learn:

• Why your brain hands off mental work, and what it quietly stops building when it does
• How struggle builds the skill of tolerating not knowing yet
• Why loneliness shows up in the same brain regions as physical pain
• What the research does and does not prove about AI use and loneliness
• Why an always-agreeable companion can skip the lesson your body is looking for
• Three questions to notice how you are really using AI this week

⏱️ CHAPTERS:
[0:00] Who did you tell first?
[2:18] Our month on AI, and what today is not
[5:03] Your brain loves to hand things off
[6:41] Use it or lose it: taxi drivers and GPS
[7:38] Your brain on ChatGPT
[9:48] Other people regulate your stress
[13:37] What the 2026 surveys say about AI and loneliness
[18:48] When AI agrees with you too often
[20:47] Friction, repair, and why we need pushback
[22:31] Three questions to keep in your pocket

🔗 CONNECT WITH THE RAW ONION:
Website: https://therawonionpodcast.com
Substack: https://therawonion.substack.com
YouTube: @TheRawOnionPodcast

🔗 CONNECT WITH STEPHANIE:
Triage Coaching and Consulting: https://triagebalancedlife.com/
Let's talk: https://scheduler.zoom.us/stephanie-ohannesian

🔗 CONNECT WITH YOSHIE:
Lotus Flower Journeys: https://lotusflowerjourneys.com
Let's connect: https://www.lotusflowerjourneys.com/contact/

What happens when a mirror learns to talk back? That was the question we brought to Episode 38. Tatiana Cházaro is Co-Founder and President of AO1 Heals, a company built around human development and the creation of AI companions, i.e., "confidants in times of need, not of the human variety." She joined The Raw Onion to talk about why the voice carrying a message matters as much as the message itself, what she learned as a mother trying to find help for her son, and where an AI companion belongs vs. where it has to stop.

How does human companionship go with an AI, and how do we balance these new "realities and relationships" while staying grounded? Where does our humanness begin and end? What does AI do for us that we, the people, cannot do for each other? Tatiana breaks it all down for us.

We get into:

• Why the same message can land differently depending on the voice carrying it
• How AO1 began with a mother’s wish to support her son
• Companions that listen, ask questions, and help us see the whole picture
• Safety built into every conversation, with a path to human help
• Four companions for different seasons of life, from leadership to grief
• Where AI makes the biggest difference for women entrepreneurs

In this episode, you will learn:

• What the nervous system needs in a hard moment, and why step-by-step instructions can feel like too much
• What digital abandonment is, and why responsiveness matters to people who lean on a companion
• How stepping out of a rumination loop supports self-regulation
• Why the developing brain calls for extra care into the mid-twenties
• Why Tatiana’s goal is for people to move forward on their own

🎙️ GUEST:
Tatiana Cházaro is Co-Founder and President of AO1 Heals, a company built around human development. She also founded Noir & Nopal, a Los Angeles event cart catering company that grew from a single charcuterie cart.

⏱️ CHAPTERS:
[0:00] A mirror that talks back
[2:17] What AO1 Heals is and why the voice matters
[4:25] A mother, a son, and the gap in the system
[7:36] Pattern recognition and levels of crisis
[10:46] The 2 a.m. question and digital abandonment
[17:35] Teens, chatbots, and the four companions
[24:53] Women founders, AI, and the load we bring home
[33:18] Rehearsing the hard conversation
[36:25] What is missing that we had to invent this
[44:57] The next five years and where to find AO1

🛠️ RESOURCES:
Adopted not embedded: AI, productivity, and uneven gains for women entrepreneurs (Cherie Blair Foundation for Women, 2026)
https://cherieblairfoundation.org/what-we-do/research/women-entrepreneurs-ai/

🔗 CONNECT WITH TATIANA CHÁZARO:
Website: www.ao1heals.com

🔗 CONNECT WITH US:
The Raw Onion: therawonionpodcast.com

🔗 CONNECT WITH STEPHANIE:
Let's Talk: https://scheduler.zoom.us/stephanie-ohannesian/30-mins-discovery-zoom

🔗 CONNECT WITH YOSHIE:
Let's Connect: lotusflowerjourneys.com/contact

Something told you that you were right, and it felt so good you didn't stop to check. That feeling is the subject of this episode.

In March, researchers at Stanford and Carnegie Mellon published a study in Science testing 11 leading AI systems. The machines affirmed people's choices about 49% more often than other humans did. After one conversation about a real conflict, people were more certain they were right and less willing to apologize or repair. They also trusted the flattering AI more.

Episode 37 opens our October theme, The Mirror That Talks Back. Us…in the Age of AI. Full disclosure: we used AI to help research this one, then checked it against the actual papers.

We get into:

• A new "relationship" with someone named Claude
• 2,000 posts from Reddit's "Am I the Asshole?" forum
• Why your brain treats disagreement like a mistake
• The slot machine versus the warm bath
• What the "ChatGPT is shrinking your brain" headline leaves out
• London taxi drivers and GPS
• A therapy chatbot that was designed to help instead of to be liked
• Why growth has never come from being agreed with

In this episode, you will learn:

• Why being agreed with feels like relief, especially for those of us who have spent years not being believed
• What happens in the brain when your opinion clashes with the group, and why beliefs tied to identity get defended like threats
• How AI assistants were trained into flattery, partly by accident and partly by incentive
• What the research on heavy chatbot use, loneliness, and emotional dependence does and does not show
• Why the order matters: brain first, machine second
• Why sycophancy is a design choice, not the technology itself
• An anti-flattery toolkit you can start using tonight

⏱️ CHAPTERS

[0:00] "I'm talking to someone"
[1:38] The study that should make us uncomfortable
[8:22] Why disagreement registers as an error in the brain
[14:45] Why would anyone build a flatterer?
[19:21] Coming soon: Not Her Anymore
[20:44] What is AI actually doing to my brain?
[23:53] "ChatGPT is shrinking your brain": what the study says
[29:38] The case for AI: the Therabot trial
[32:48] The anti-flattery toolkit
[37:03] Back to the mirror: growth needs friction

🔗 CONNECT WITH THE RAW ONION:
Website: https://therawonionpodcast.com
IG: https://www.instagram.com/therawonionpodcast

Substack: https://therawonion.substack.com
Reach out: hello@therawonionpodcast.com

🔗 CONNECT WITH STEPHANIE:
Triage Coaching and Consulting: https://triagebalancedlife.com/
Let's talk: https://scheduler.zoom.us/stephanie-ohannesian

🔗 CONNECT WITH YOSHIE:
Lotus Flower Journeys: https://lotusflowerjourneys.com
Let's connect: https://lotusflowerjourneys.com/contact

She told them it stayed at the table. Two weeks later, HR called.

For Heather Rippere, it was her dream job. One dinner and one shared secret later, a coworker was gone and her trust in the team was broken. She stayed nearly ten years, kept her head down, and never spoke about it.

Now a leadership coach and author, Heather joined The Raw Onion to close out our September series on betrayal. This time we take it where many of us spend most of our day: the workplace.

We get into:

• The dinner-table secret that cost a coworker his job and shaped how Heather showed up for almost ten years
• Why HR is not your friend (said with respect)
• How a work problem so often traces back to childhood
• The burnout both Heather and Stephanie went through because they could not say no

In this episode, you will learn:

• Why going quiet after betrayal is your brain adapting, not paranoia
• Why workplace betrayal sparks anger instead of heartbreak
• How taking responsibility differs from blaming yourself
• How coaching moves you from functional to optimal
• Why authenticity at work needs boundaries
• What Heather would tell her younger corporate self

🎙️ GUEST:

Heather Rippere, PCC. ICF PCC-certified leadership coach, Prosci® Certified Change Practitioner, and trauma-informed NLP practitioner with nearly 30 years of corporate experience. Her work blends somatics and change management. Author of From Imposter to Influencer: Stories and Steps to Unlock Self-Doubt and Lead Authentically.

⏱️ CHAPTERS:
[0:00] Welcome
[4:15] Meet Heather: a coach who lived it
[7:01] A dream job and a secret at dinner
[12:09] Trust is a prediction your brain makes
[21:09] Taking responsibility privately
[32:30] Why workplace betrayal hits differently
[39:01] How coaching moves you forward
[47:41] Authenticity needs boundaries
[48:41] Stephanie and Heather on burnout
[1:06:38] Choosing how you trust again
[1:09:10] Where to find Heather

🛠️ RESOURCES:

• Appraisal theory, Richard Lazarus
• Dickerson and Kemeny's research on social-evaluative threat

🔗 CONNECT WITH HEATHER RIPPERE:
Website: heatherrippere.com
Book (Amazon): https://www.amazon.com/Imposter-Influencer-Stories-Unlock-Authentically/dp/B0FSS3TWVW/
Book (Lulu): https://www.lulu.com/shop/heather-k-rippere/from-imposter-to-influencer/paperback/product-p6g8mqj.html?

🔗 CONNECT WITH US:
The Raw Onion: https://www.therawonionpodcast.com

🔗 CONNECT WITH STEPHANIE:
Let's Talk: https://scheduler.zoom.us/stephanie-ohannesian/30-mins-discovery-zoom

🔗 CONNECT WITH YOSHIE:
Let's Connect: https://lotusflowerjourneys.com/contact

The person who was supposed to catch you is the one who let you fall. That is betrayal, and it does not behave like ordinary heartbreak.

We sit down with Lauren Cheney, a mom of two who rebuilt her life after an almost 20-year marriage ended in betrayal. Yoshie also shares her own story on camera for the first time. We get into why this wound cuts so deep, why so many of us blame ourselves and try to fix the very person who hurt us, and what the brain and body are actually doing in the worst of it.

In this episode:

• Why betrayal from your closest person cuts deeper than any other loss
• The strange "gift" in Lauren's timeline that showed her it was never her fault
• Why the brain treats the person who hurt you like an addiction
• Guilt vs. shame, and why the shame spiral keeps us silent
• Broken heart syndrome, and the study on Tylenol and social pain
• The phases of betrayal trauma, and why you stabilize first

🎙️ GUEST:

Lauren Cheney is a mom of two who rebuilt her life after an almost 20-year marriage ended in betrayal. A Certified Emotion Code® and Body Code® Practitioner, she draws on holistic work and her own hard-won experience to explore both traditional and unconventional ways back to steady ground. When she shared her story online, her videos passed a million views. She is now launching her own podcast on rebuilding and moving forward after betrayal.

⏱️ CHAPTERS:

[00:00] What if everything ended?

[5:33] Lauren's story: blindsided after 20 years

[13:03] Yoshie's story, and the shared thread

[20:08] Why betrayal cuts deepest: the oxytocin bond

[23:40] An attachment injury, not just broken trust

[28:40] The brain on rejection, and the urge to fix

[34:51] Guilt, shame, and releasing it

[42:14] The phases: stabilize before you make sense of it

[51:52] Broken heart syndrome, and the Tylenol study

[57:10] The first spark of joy, and rewiring the brain

🛠️ RESOURCES:

• Book: The Betrayal Bind by Michelle Mays: https://amzn.to/4yDRfPO (Affiliate link shared by our guest. Purchases may earn her a commission at no extra cost to you.)
• Find a betrayal-trauma-trained therapist or coach. Search the APSATS or CCPS credentials: https://iitap.com/page/TherapistDirectory
• Helen Fisher's MRI research: a rejecting partner's photo lights up the same dopamine circuitry as addiction.
• Takotsubo cardiomyopathy ("broken heart syndrome"): an adrenaline surge that mimics a heart attack.
• DeWall and Eisenberger study: acetaminophen eased both hurt feelings and social-pain activity in the brain.
• Bach Rescue Remedy

🔗 CONNECT WITH LAUREN:

BetterAfterBetrayal: https://www.tiktok.com/@betterafterbetrayal

🔗 THE RAW ONION:

Web: https://www.therawonionpodcast.com

🔗 CONNECT WITH STEPHANIE:
Let's Talk: https://scheduler.zoom.us/stephanie-ohannesian/30-mins-discovery-zoom

🔗 CONNECT WITH YOSHIE:
Web: https://lotusflowerjourneys.com

A dip you can't feel happening is still doing damage. When something you counted on doesn't arrive, your brain doesn't just feel let down. It drops below baseline, into a real deficit.

This week we go deeper into September's theme, The Wound That Wasn't What You Expected. This is Part 2. We look at what your brain is actually doing when reality doesn't match what you predicted. Why disappointment and betrayal grow from the same root but land in completely different places. And why a real betrayal can keep your body on alert for years before you ever notice.

We get into:

• Why your brain is a prediction machine, not a camera
• What dopamine is actually for (it was never really about pleasure)
• Why an expectation that goes unmet drops you below baseline, not just to neutral
• The difference between a letdown and a betrayal, mapped in the brain
• Why the expectations we never say out loud do the most damage
• Why living in fight or flight for years shows up in your body, your weight, your hair, your skin

In this episode, you will learn:

• Why your disappointment is not proof you're too sensitive
• Why a missed expectation updates your model of the world, and a betrayal updates your model of a person you had already filed under safe
• Why resentment can feel older than it should
• What your brain is really doing when a story never gets to close

⏱️ CHAPTERS

[00:00] Welcome, and the expectations we hand people without telling them
[4:42] Your brain is a prediction machine
[6:34] Prediction error, from a coffee cup to your relationships
[8:53] Dopamine's real job (it was never pleasure)
[9:59] The dopamine factory: VTA and nucleus accumbens
[11:16] Why an unmet expectation drops you below baseline
[13:59] The orbital frontal cortex and updating value
[15:57] Is betrayal the same as disappointment? The trust game
[17:54] The anterior insula and the deeper cut of betrayal

🔗 CONNECT WITH THE RAW ONION:
Website: https://therawonionpodcast.com
IG: https://www.instagram.com/therawonionpodcast

Substack: https://therawonion.substack.com
Reach out: hello@therawonionpodcast.com

Guest form: https://www.therawonionpodcast.com/be-our-guest/

🔗 CONNECT WITH STEPHANIE:
Triage Coaching and Consulting: https://triagebalancedlife.com/
Let's talk: https://scheduler.zoom.us/stephanie-ohannesian

🔗 CONNECT WITH YOSHIE:
Lotus Flower Journeys: https://lotusflowerjourneys.com
Let's connect: https://lotusflowerjourneys.com/contact

Your stomach drops. Your chest goes tight. Something clicks into place and your whole body reacts before your mind can catch up. That is not you being too sensitive. That is your brain doing exactly what it was built to do.

This week we open a brand new theme on the Raw Onion: The Wound That Wasn't What You Expected. We are starting with betrayal, the topic so many of you wrote in to ask about. Masks are slipping. Marriages are ending after decades over a single text. Long friendships are quietly rearranging. And underneath every one of those stories sits the same biology.

Stephanie walks through what actually happens when someone you trusted breaks that trust, why it registers as real physical pain, why it lands so much harder on some of us than others, and why the people who look like they have it most together are often the ones who get flattened.

We get into:

• Why your body reacts to betrayal before your mind can explain it
• The old idea that emotional pain and physical pain live in separate places, and why the research no longer holds
• Why the closer the person, the worse the betrayal tends to land
• The secondary wave of betrayal that has nothing to do with the original event
• Why the same betrayal can devastate one person and barely register for another

In this episode, you will learn:

• What is happening in the brain the moment trust breaks
• Why betrayal makes your body brace, not just your feelings ache
• How your earliest years quietly wrote the template you filter every betrayal through
• Why perfectionists and overpreparers often get hit the hardest
• Why being careful enough was never the force field you were promised

⏱️ CHAPTERS
[00:00] Welcome back
[02:45] A new theme: the wound you didn't expect
[07:11] When the brain can't tell betrayal from injury
[13:09] Betrayal as a prediction error
[15:26] Why closeness makes it worse
[18:23] Why we don't all respond the same
[23:16] The perfectionist who gets flattened

🔗 CONNECT WITH THE RAW ONION:
Website: https://therawonionpodcast.com
IG: https://www.instagram.com/therawonionpodcast

Substack: https://therawonion.substack.com
Reach out: hello@therawonionpodcast.com

🔗 CONNECT WITH STEPHANIE:
Triage Coaching and Consulting: https://triagebalancedlife.com/
Book a call: https://scheduler.zoom.us/stephanie-ohannesian

🔗 CONNECT WITH YOSHIE:
Lotus Flower Journeys: https://lotusflowerjourneys.com
Let's connect: https://lotusflowerjourneys.com/contact

Most men are taught the body is a machine to push and the brain a problem to solve. Jon Butler learned something different. After twenty years in some of the world's best kitchens, he left one of the most physically demanding careers there is for one of the most mentally demanding: finance. What carried him through both was not mindset or strategy. It was his body on a trail, on a rock face, where the only thing that exists is the next thing to hold. Jon is our first male guest, and this conversation about the body and brain is one few people are invited to have.

We get into:

• Why leaving a twenty-year career felt less like quitting and more like outgrowing it
• How the body tells the truth when your working life is telling you who to be
• The kitchen as constant fight-or-flight, and what happens when the stress never stops
• Matching your outlet to your load, so the reset is as big as the pressure
• Taking one small action when you're frozen at a crossroads

In this episode, you will learn:

• Why your body knows you've outgrown something before your mind admits it
• What happens when chronic stress becomes your baseline, not an emergency setting
• How choosing a hard thing shifts what your brain believes you're capable of
• Why settling the nervous system first leads to clearer decisions at a crossroads

🎙️ GUEST:
Jon Butler is a mortgage broker and former chef in Southern California. Before finance, he spent 20+ years in hospitality, with apprenticeships at Arzak and Noma and leadership roles at République, 71Above, The Rose Venice, and the Michelin programs at Sparrows Lodge and Holiday House. Today he helps clients navigate home financing and complex lending. Outside work, he climbs and pursues alpine adventures worldwide, volunteers with the Riverside Mountain Rescue Unit, and spends time with his wife, Laura, and their French bulldog, Nico.

⏱️ CHAPTERS:
[00:00] Welcome Jon Butler
[3:45] 20 years in the kitchen and chasing the next challenge
[8:42] Realizing he'd outgrown the profession
[19:42] Taking one small action to bring the prefrontal cortex back online
[23:02] The kitchen as chronic fight-or-flight and what constant stress does to the brain
[32:09] Building your own prison and holding the key out
[44:08] Why a challenge you choose rewires the brain: allostatic loading in reverse
[45:35] The dopamine, norepinephrine, and endorphin hit that makes it stick
[50:22] Starting small when a curb feels like a mountain
[59:16] Settling the nervous system before the big decisions

🔗 CONNECT WITH JON BUTLER:
Website: jon-butler.com
Email: jonb@barrettfinancial.com
FB/IG: @jonbutler84

🔗 CONNECT WITH US:
The Raw Onion: https://www.therawonionpodcast.com

🔗 CONNECT WITH STEPHANIE:
Let's Talk: https://scheduler.zoom.us/stephanie-ohannesian/30-mins-discovery-zoom

🔗 CONNECT WITH YOSHIE:
Let's Connect: https://lotusflowerjourneys.com/contact