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The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast

The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast

By: Danielle Black
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The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast

Hosted by Danielle Black


A direct, evidence-based podcast for people navigating all-things separation and divorce, including; post-separation abuse, family violence, parenting, property settlement and the family law system - with a relentless focus on protecting children and building a life beyond separation. Because, the advice your lawyer gives you is only the beginning. Family law tells you what the system can do. This podcast helps you understand what to seek, what to challenge, what to bring into the room - and how to live with the decisions, and move on with your life, afterwards.


Danielle Black is a specialist post-separation parenting coach and the founder and principal coach of Danielle Black Coaching. Having navigated her own complex separation, and guided hundreds of clients to successful outcomes, Danielle and her coaching team specialise in helping protective parents to optimise the outcome for themselves and their children, and support clients to navigate post-separation situations that other professionals don't properly address.


Drawing on her extensive tertiary qualifications, developmental science, research, trauma-informed practice and both professional and lived experience, she examines how abuse can continue after separation, how systems and professionals respond, and what genuinely informed decision-making and credible advocacy requires when risk, fear or power imbalance is present.


Because understanding family law is not enough.

Having a lawyer is not enough.

A lawyer can advise you about the law, legal process and evidence. But optimising your parenting outcome also requires knowledge of child development, attachment, coercive control and trauma; the capacity to remain strategic under pressure; and the confidence to advocate for what you and your children genuinely need.

This podcast examines all of those layers.


It challenges the assumptions that routinely shape post-separation outcomes: the fixation on 50/50 shared care, the misuse of “friendly parent” ideals, the belief that compromise is always constructive, and the fantasy that engaging the right professional means you can safely hand over the strategy, decision-making and advocacy.


Across the podcast, Danielle explores:

  • how post-separation abuse operates through parenting, financial and legal processes;
  • what children need after separation - and why adult notions of fairness are an inadequate guide;
  • what lawyers and other post-separation professionals were, and were not, trained to understand;
  • why standard co-parenting frameworks often fail families affected by coercive control and other forms of family violence and post-separation abuse;
  • how to assess the benefits, risks and real-world costs of negotiation, litigation and other pathways;
  • how knowledge, capacity and advocacy can materially change outcomes;
  • and what comes next, when separation and survival no longer occupy the centre of your life.


Expect direct language, research-backed analysis, practical guidance and a few cuss words - not platitudes, false balance or simplistic promises of justice.


This is not only about understanding what happened in your situation.

It is about making informed decisions now - and becoming the author, and authority, of what comes next.


To go deeper, explore The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™, Danielle’s flagship program for parents building the knowledge, capacity and advocacy skills needed to make informed, protective decisions after separation.

Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au.

© 2026 The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast Parenting & Families Personal Development Personal Success Relationships Social Sciences
Episodes
  • 128. When Children Resist or Refuse - Part 8: Influence, manipulation & loyalty conflicts

    128. When Children Resist or Refuse - Part 8: Influence, manipulation & loyalty conflicts
    29 Oct 2026
    This is part 8 of our "When Children Resist or Refuse" series.This series explores what a child's resistance or refusal might mean. When a child says 'no', our job isn't to immediately decide what the 'no' proves. It's to understand what might be happening, notice what every adult is bringing to the interpretation, and work out how to respond without losing sight of the child.When a child resists or refuses a relationship with a parent, allegations of "parental alienation" can quickly become part of the conversation. But how do we distinguish genuine manipulation or influencing from a child's own experiences, grievances and feelings about their parents?In Part 8 of When Children Say No: Resistance, Refusal and Relationships After Separation, Danielle Black explores the complicated ways children can be influenced by the adults around them, including deliberate manipulation, emotional pressure, loyalty conflicts and exposure to adult grievances.Genuine manipulation happens. Children can be lied to, pressured to take sides, made responsible for a parent's emotional wellbeing or encouraged to reject a parent they previously enjoyed a relationship with. But recognising those possibilities doesn't mean every instance of resistance or refusal can be explained by "parental alienation" or deliberate influencing.In this episode Danielle examines how children can be exposed to inappropriate parental influence while also having legitimate grievances with the parent they're rejecting. She explores why children may remain deeply attached to an abusive parent, how coercive control can shape children's loyalties and behaviour, and why even well-intentioned parents can inadvertently place emotional burdens on their children.The episode also challenges the tendency to interpret every interaction through the behaviour of the other parent. When a child expresses anger, withdraws from contact or describes a difficult experience, are adults genuinely listening to what that child is communicating, and recognising that their experiences and feelings are real to them, or are they searching for yet more evidence that someone else has influenced them?Danielle considers what happens when parents become consumed by explanations for estrangement, the importance of remaining curious about children's independent experiences, and why rebuilding a relationship requires more than convincing a child that they've been misled - because understanding why a child is resisting a parent is not the same as understanding what that child needs from the relationship.This podcast provides general educational information and is not a substitute for legal advice or individual coaching specific to your circumstances.Support: If you are in Australia and need to talk to someone, 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) is available 24/7. In an emergency, call 000.Explore the supports offered by Danielle Black Coaching1:1 Coaching 👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/1-1-coachingThe Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/the-post-separation-parenting-blueprint-1AI Danielle - Your 24/7 Digital Coach👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/meet-ai-danielleClaim Your Name™: Burning the Good Girl Contract👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/the-contract-you-never-agreed-toThe music you hear in this outro is 'Stronger, Braver, Together' - an original track created exclusively for the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast and Danielle Black Coaching.About Danielle Black Coaching:Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience across education, counselling and coaching - alongside her own lived experience navigating a complex separation and family court journey - she supports parents to think strategically, build capacity, and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing within complex legal and relational systems.Through Danielle Black Coaching, she leads a growing team of specialist coaches and a structured support ecosystem designed to provide professionally held, evidence-informed guidance for parents navigating high-conflict separation and family court processes.Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.auThis podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
    Show more Show less
    42 min
  • 127. When Children Resist or Refuse - Part 7: When we stop forcing contact

    127. When Children Resist or Refuse - Part 7: When we stop forcing contact
    22 Oct 2026

    This is part 7 of our "When Children Resist or Refuse" series.

    This series explores what a child's resistance or refusal might mean. When a child says no, our job isn't to immediately decide what the no proves. It's to understand what might be happening, notice what every adult is bringing to the interpretation, and work out how to respond without losing sight of the child.

    What happens when a child persistently refuses to spend time with a parent, and the court ultimately decides that contact should no longer be required?

    In Part 7 of our When Children Resist or Refuse series, Principal Coach Danielle Black explores circumstances in which parenting arrangements may provide for no contact, or for time with a parent to occur according to a child's wishes.

    While orders limiting or preventing contact may be made because of safety concerns, this episode focuses on a different and often misunderstood situation: children, particularly adolescents, whose resistance or refusal has become so entrenched that requiring them to spend time with a parent may no longer be appropriate or practically achievable.

    Danielle examines the significance of children's expressed wishes, the role of family report writers and other professionals, and why courts may sometimes make these arrangements by consent rather than following a contested final hearing.

    The episode also considers the practical realities of expecting a parent to compel an older child to attend contact, the limitations of court orders in repairing damaged relationships, and the responsibilities that remain with parents when compulsory time is no longer part of the arrangement.

    Importantly, an order that no longer requires contact does not necessarily mean a parent-child relationship can never be repaired, but when the legal requirement to spend time together falls away, the question becomes less about enforcing a parenting schedule and more about whether a meaningful relationship can be built or rebuilt.

    A court can make orders about time. It cannot order a child to feel safe, connected or loved.


    This podcast provides general educational information and is not a substitute for legal advice or individual coaching specific to your circumstances.

    Support: If you are in Australia and need to talk to someone, 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) is available 24/7. In an emergency, call 000.


    Explore the supports offered by Danielle Black Coaching

    1:1 Coaching
    👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/1-1-coaching

    The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™
    👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/the-post-separation-parenting-blueprint-1

    AI Danielle - Your 24/7 Digital Coach
    👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/meet-ai-danielle

    Claim Your Name™: Burning the Good Girl Contract
    👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/the-contract-you-never-agreed-to


    The music you hear in this outro is 'Stronger, Braver, Together' - an original track created exclusively for the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast and Danielle Black Coaching.

    About Danielle Black Coaching:

    Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience across education, counselling and coaching - alongside her own lived experience navigating a complex separation and family court journey - she supports parents to think strategically, build capacity, and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing within complex legal and relational systems.

    Through Danielle Black Coaching, she leads a growing team of specialist coaches and a structured support ecosystem designed to provide professionally held, evidence-informed guidance for parents navigating high-conflict separation and family court processes.

    Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au


    This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
    Show more Show less
    48 min
  • 126. When Children Resist or Refuse - Part 6: Encouragement, or coercion?

    126. When Children Resist or Refuse - Part 6: Encouragement, or coercion?
    15 Oct 2026

    This is part 6 of our "When Children Resist or Refuse" series.

    This series explores what a child's resistance or refusal might mean. When a child says no, our job isn't to immediately decide what the no proves. It's to understand what might be happening, notice what every adult is bringing to the interpretation, and work out how to respond without losing sight of the child.

    When a child resists or refuses spending time with a parent, adults are often told that the child needs encouragement. But what does meaningful encouragement actually look like? And at what point does encouragement become coercion?

    In Part 6 of When Children Resist or Refuse, experienced post-separation parenting coach Danielle Black explores one of the most difficult questions in post-separation parenting: how to support a child's relationship with a parent without dismissing their experiences, overriding their distress or making them responsible for repairing a struggling relationship.

    This episode examines the difference between ordinary discomfort and distress that warrants closer attention. Danielle considers the responsibilities of both the preferred and resisted parent, the importance of historical caregiving and relational attunement. She also explores what happens when a parent is genuinely encouraging contact but a child continues to resist, why compliance should not be confused with connection, and the risks of treating a child's distress as something to overcome rather than information to understand.

    Supporting a meaningful parent-child relationship isn't simply about getting a child through the next changeover. It's about understanding what that child needs to feel safe, supported and connected within the relationship.


    This podcast provides general educational information and is not a substitute for legal advice or individual coaching specific to your circumstances.

    Support: If you are in Australia and need to talk to someone, 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) is available 24/7. In an emergency, call 000.


    Explore the supports offered by Danielle Black Coaching

    1:1 Coaching
    👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/1-1-coaching

    The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™
    👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/the-post-separation-parenting-blueprint-1

    AI Danielle - Your 24/7 Digital Coach
    👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/meet-ai-danielle

    Claim Your Name™: Burning the Good Girl Contract
    👉 https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/the-contract-you-never-agreed-to

    The music you hear in this outro is 'Stronger, Braver, Together' - an original track created exclusively for the Post-Separation Abuse Podcast and Danielle Black Coaching.

    About Danielle Black Coaching:

    Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience across education, counselling and coaching - alongside her own lived experience navigating a complex separation and family court journey - she supports parents to think strategically, build capacity, and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing within complex legal and relational systems.

    Through Danielle Black Coaching, she leads a growing team of specialist coaches and a structured support ecosystem designed to provide professionally held, evidence-informed guidance for parents navigating high-conflict separation and family court processes.

    Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au


    This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
    Show more Show less
    1 hr and 11 min
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