Protocol: What if exploring together also means learning how to want things separately?

Scottsdale is almost here, and this time we’re trying to go in with less pressure, more honesty, and a much clearer idea of what success actually looks like.

In this episode, we talk through our boundaries, what still feels exciting, what still feels uncertain, and how much our expectations have changed since Toronto. We’re realizing that the biggest shift isn’t necessarily what we’re willing to do—it’s how we’re communicating about what we actually want.

That leads us into a bigger conversation about individuation, self-editing, and the ways we both tend to manage each other’s experience instead of simply saying what we want and letting the conversation happen from there. We also talk through what we’re looking forward to at Scottsdale, what we’re willing to skip, and how we’re trying not to “spin the fuck out” this time.

Somewhere along the way, the pre-trip protocol becomes pretty simple: go at our pace, listen to ourselves, and tell the truth sooner.

🧪 In This Episode:

• Why we’re defining success differently for Scottsdale
• Where our boundaries actually are right now
• What kissing, touching, and same-room play look like for us at this stage
• Why we may simply not be “one-night-stand people”
• The fantasy of being desired without needing anything to happen
• Roz’s goal of listening to herself instead of shrinking when she gets uncomfortable
• Max’s realization that he often gives up what he wants before even saying it out loud
• Learning to separate “what I want” from “what I think my partner wants me to want”
• Building more honesty and individuation into the weekend
• What we’re most excited about on the Scottsdale schedule
• How we plan to handle overstimulation, social fatigue, and mismatched energy

📚 Next Episode:

The fieldwork begins again.

Next time, we’ll be back from Scottsdale and breaking down what actually happened, what surprised us, what moved, what didn’t, and whether our revised protocol survived contact with the real world.

💬 Join the Conversation:

What’s harder for you: figuring out what you want—or saying it out loud once you know?

📩 Email: thepartnershiplabpodcast@gmail.com

📱 Instagram: @the_partnership_lab

Disclaimer: These conversations reflect our own observations and experiences and are not professional or institutional advice. They do not reflect the thoughts or opinions of employers, family, or guests, nor imply their approval of the content shared.

Protocol: What if growth doesn’t have to come from one huge leap—but from a hundred smaller experiments?

In this episode, we catch up on the surprisingly large number of small things we’ve been doing lately as we continue figuring out what open relating looks like for us. We talk about preparing for Scottsdale, attending a bisexuality workshop, taking a Kinsey-style sexuality quiz and an ENM placement quiz, and thinking more seriously about how labels can be useful without having to become identities we’re locked into.

Then we get into an idea that tied the whole episode together for us: microdosing ENM. Instead of treating growth like a series of giant tests, what happens if we focus on smaller experiences that stretch our comfort zones, expand our capacity, and teach us something without completely overwhelming us?

🧪 In This Episode:

• Our latest Scottsdale prep—and what we want to do differently this time
• Why Roz is focusing more on comfort, connection, and being herself
• Why attraction, experience, and identity don’t always line up neatly
• How differently we experience emotions in our bodies
• Our aura photos—and what our couple’s photo unexpectedly revealed

🔬 Resources Mentioned:

• Expansive Connections - https://www.expansiveconnection.com/enmblog
• Monogamish Marriage - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-monogamish-marriage/id1586549659
• Kinsey sexuality quiz - https://www.idrlabs.com/kinsey-scale/test.php?srsltid=AfmBOorQlGLIOCOEWd2VhNrtUibYKvFm9lFUgxU6wAYBE-P4oJ1ocQOa
• ENM Placement Test on FetLife - https://enmtriangle.netlify.app/?poly=11.38&swinger=11.38&kinky=11.88
• Aria Diana somatic relationship coaching - https://www.ariadiana.com/
• Nervous-system masterclass - https://youtu.be/2POelrlfPJI?si=eqSRjcmTMXovvtVa
• Hack Your Nervous System card deck - https://hackyournervoussystem.org/
• Aura photography - https://hauswitchstore.com/collections/aura-photos
• Next Book Club Book (Wild Love Theory) - https://a.co/d/02HamK6D

📚 Next Episode:

Scottsdale is almost here. Next time, we’ll talk through our mindset going into the trip, what we learned from Toronto, the smaller goals we want to set for ourselves, and how we’re trying very hard not to spin the fuck out this time.

📩 Email: thepartnershiplabpodcast@gmail.com 📱 Instagram: @the_partnership_lab

Disclaimer: These conversations reflect our personal experiences and are not professional advice.

Sometimes the best conversations start with a question you’ve somehow never asked each other, even 20 years in.

This week, Roz brings a question game neither of us has seen ahead of time, and we let it lead us. What starts with childhood dreams, favorite meals, and questionable music choices eventually gets us talking about the beliefs we’ve outgrown, places that changed us, the lives we still imagine for ourselves, and the small ways we make each other feel cared for.

No worksheets. No relationship theory. No big experiment. Just two people who have been together a long time discovering there are still things left to learn about each other. Come hang out with us.

Join the Conversation:

What’s something you recently learned about someone you thought you knew really well? Or, better yet, what question should we ask each other next time?

Instagram: @the_partnership_lab

Email: thepartnershiplabpodcast@gmail.com

Disclaimer:

These conversations reflect our own observations and experiences and are not professional or institutional advice. They do not reflect the thoughts or opinions of employers, family, or guests, nor imply their approval of the content shared.