Today we’re bringing in the Count of Monty Crypto to help explain the US economy in a way even Jasmine can understand it. Step one, if you want to save big money, don’t buy anything. Next: Hide your stuff! Go out in the backyard, dig a hole and put your stuff down there, then cover it up. If the Zohan people can’t find it, they can’t tax it or give it to the aliens. Then, don’t buy anything that says DISPOSABLE. What’s the point? Let somebody else buy it and when they throw it away you go back around and pick it up for nothing. This is so easy. Let’s say you want some Crypto Currency. You don’t know why but everybody’s doing it and you don’t want to miss out. Well, BaitCoin is a whole lot cheaper than BitCoin, and you can do more with it. BaitCoin is locally sourced, the correct people will cheer for that, like local honey, they get all worked up over that too. Gives them the same warm, welcoming embrace as socialism. Like the gooey cheese in the Mondami mouse trap. “Come on in, have some promotional cheese. We’ll just take it from the people on the hill. They’ve got too much cheese.” Who let this happen? Next, you’ll be making your own clothes. Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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Big Bad Bunny is now hiring. He’s about to do the half time SuperBowl show and still needs a few good men to hold up his scarf for the big game. It’s a ballsey move, but since Super Bowl is copyrighted, we’re not allowed to talk about what a dumb NFL idea this really is. They just need you to lower your expectations for game day and accept Mr. Bunny for who he or they really is. Just give him a little time to get his roots done! Now since the Bunny man always seems to turn up third and long, you’re gonna need to know how to score all this! A simple organism about to take the stage. Not the halftime entertainment you expected, but there it is anyway. And if you stand behind the velvet ropes, Big Blue Bunny will be happy to give you a peek at what really goes on at Doggy Day Care. A million flies can’t be wrong, and this one’s really going to stink! Our friend the Bunny has been butt dialed more than once from a Princess phone. So what’s different this time, except maybe for 90 million of the undead hopefully still watching. Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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At night when Jasmine Crockett lies there waiting for the sandman to come take her away, she likes to dream of how important she’s gonna feel once we make her a US Senator from Texas. Commander Otis here - back on Crockett Watch where we’ve brought in Oppo the research loving clown to find out what makes Ms. Crockett so entertaining. What is it Oppo? Why so sad? Awwww, is it because Jasmine’s spirit animal is an oyster? Jasmine’s going to need an edge to win in Texas and that’s where the mail in ballots come in. Oh the larceny! Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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