Why do I keep falling for gay men? Why do I treat men like casual fun and women like future wives? And how much of that is actually me... and how much was it just trauma trying to keep me safe?

In this intimacy episode, I unpack the hella invisible rules my brain created around attraction, intimacy, and vulnerability after years of trauma and dissociation. Through parts work and a lot of uncomfortable self-reflection, I started noticing patterns in my sexuality that felt less like preferences and more like survival strategies.

Yall, I'm not trying to figure out what label fits me best. I'm trying to figure out what parts of me are fear, what parts are protection, and what parts are finally ready to heal.


TW: trauma, dissociation, sex. Personal experience only; not medical advice.

On today’s sex episode of The Naked Puppet… we’re getting very personal.

I’m talking masturbation, celibacy, sexual awakening, and a realization that completely unraveled my understanding of my own body. After going on a few dates and almost breaking my celibacy, I discovered something that sent me into one of the biggest trauma epiphanies of my healing journey.

Turns out I had spent 30+ years following a hidden rule my brain made without me even realizing it.

We’re talking about why I only ever masturbated a certain way, why I couldn’t feel anything during intimacy, the shocking realization I had in a gay bar, and what I learned after discovering I had never truly connected with parts of my own body.

This episode gets raw, vulnerable, NSFW, and honestly a little heartbreaking. But if you’ve ever struggled with trauma, shame, dissociation, sexuality, or feeling disconnected from your own body… this conversation might hit a little deeper than you expect.

Curtain up. Let's do this.

Season 2 of The Naked Puppet is here… and everything is changing.
I've been gone for a few months, continuing to heal but also starting a new job... one that’s helping me heal in ways I didn’t expect. What started as a simple brand ambassador role turned into something much deeper: real-life exposure therapy for my brain.

If you’re new here, I’ve spent the last few years navigating dissociation, OSDD, and reconnecting with my body after uncovering repressed childhood trauma. Season 1 of this podcast was all about interviewing my different “parts”… but now, things feel different. I feel different.

Welcome to Season 2 🤍