This week, I talk about the absolute chaos of taking my kids to the USA Nationals to see the fastest man alive, Noah Lyles. It’s a story about financial regrets, accidental crimes, and the rare 2% cosmic coincidence that made all this happen. If you’ve ever snuck into a VIP section or a continental breakfast, or been pinned by an elevator door, this episode will resonate with you.

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Is it really shoplifting if the entire town is doing it?

This week, I am back with local icon Keith Blum and we are diving deep into our dark, criminal pasts right here in West Hartford, CT, and exposing the hilariously toxic dynamics of the famous "Neighbors and Friends in West Hartford" Facebook group.

From orchestrating a diabolical, middle school lunch-stealing ring to a massive $3,500 Sports Authority heist, we're holding nothing back. Plus, we break down the infamous Edwards supermarket "Yogurt Pretzel Arrest" that shook our high school to its core—was it a fair bust, or just zero-tolerance gone completely mad?

But the chaos doesn’t stop in the past. We’re tackling current local town drama:
* The 2 AM Street Fight: Why breaking up a drunken sidewalk brawl outside the window might have been a huge mistake.
* Cult of the Bike Lanes: Our official plan to go undercover, infiltrate "Bike West Hartford," and put an end to the Vision Zero street mappings.
* Neighborhood Warfare: Someone from "Neighbors and Friends in West Hartford" FB group has been dropping dog sh*t in Keith Blum's driveway.

Stick around until the very end for a massive teaser on next week's episode involving missing child support, a showdown with a local DCF-calling teacher, and a wild jury duty connection you won't believe.

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00:25 We Stole Someone's Lunch Every Day
03:40 My Mom Stole a Cat
04:40 The Yogurt-Covered Pretzel Crime Wave at Edward's Supermarket
07:25 Keith’s Sports Authority Felony
09:25 The Avon Mountain Turtle Disaster
11:25 "Neighbors and Friends in West Hartford" Facebook group drama
14:35 The Girl Fight Outside My House
16:25 Vision 35 and the War Against Bike Lanes
18:00 We Identify the Enemy: Bike West Hartford
20:45 Three Completely Insane Stories for Next Time

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My nephew Sean joins me and we immediately discover that adulthood is mostly a collection of companies quietly stealing your money. Sean is trapped in a yearlong Big Sky Fitness contract, I learn that Care.com has taken nearly $2,000 from me, and I am forced to confront the possibility that I am the exact woman Rocket Money ads were created for.

Then we get to important Kelly family history. My dad uses the grill as an incinerator, chugs nonalcoholic beer, and eats blocks of cheese like an apple. We also cover a $350 bee pin, the worst strip club name ever conceived, bad tattoo ideas, and the greatest collection of Rainforest Cafe chimp plates in America.

We laugh the entire episode. This was a good chat :)

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