Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective, as Halloween looms and the nation’s trick-or-treat etiquette comes under serious (and slightly satsuma-based) scrutiny.

First up: Sue’s toilet tale, as she takes drastic action against an all-male household’s bathroom crimes… with consequences for everyone, including the dog.

Then Paul faces a full-blown chameleon calamity when Cami escapes and ends up having a fluorescent curtain-induced Farrow & Ball crisis.

Plus: Constable Knappweed “solves” a burglary with accidental red paint footprints, and Matt’s banking app verification turns into a sleep-deprived, unbuttoned disaster.

Got a confession? confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the collective for another allegedly coherent episode.

Bev relives a mixed-hockey tournament pool night in Wakefield, then it’s back to 1969 as Biffo and Buster conduct a science experiment involving fireworks and cow pat.

Plus: a 70s house party, “a packet of Planters” confusion, and a public-school Oliver! medley that pushes one housemaster too far.

Got a confession? confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

It’s a very, very special edition of Simon Mayo’s Confessions… a Cluedo special.

Five classic confessions are reopened from the crypt, featuring suspicious behaviour on quiet country roads, RAF Police patrols “hunting” late-night Cluedo enthusiasts, and Storm Doris scattering some extremely awkward bin evidence across an English garden.

Plus: the Keymaster of ’94 reveals the fatal flaw in a southwest Wales caravan park key system (and the unfortunate elderly couple who walked in at the worst possible moment).

And finally, the confession that started it all: Max, the conservatory, Colonel Mustard… and three-and-a-half years of truly despicable behaviour.

Got a confession? confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk