Cover of SOCIAL HEALTH: Why Friendship Gets Harder As We Get Older

SOCIAL HEALTH: Why Friendship Gets Harder As We Get Older

SOCIAL HEALTH: Why Friendship Gets Harder As We Get Older

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Why do our circles tend to get smaller as we get older? You told us your struggles about moving and finding yourself far away from the people you love. About how much harder it is to make new friends. About feeling excluded. And about the surprisingly complicated question of what happens when you love your friend but don't love their kids. So in Episode 4 of our series on social health, Liz Bohannon and I are tackling a question so many of you asked: Why does friendship get harder as we get older? And how many friends do we really need? Is it that we have less time? That our lives get more complicated? That our standards change? Or are we doing something else that makes friendship harder than it needs to be? Liz has a fascinating framework for thinking about this—and it made me rethink everything from how much we should expect from different friendships to how much agreement we actually need from the people in our lives. We also get into the different “circles” of friendship, why you can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely, and what to do when the friendships you want don't fit neatly into your life anymore. And we tackle the question so many of us have faced: Do I need to find new friends or do I need to rethink the friendships I already have? Let’s Talk About It. Listen in to learn more : 0:01:10 Social Health Revolution: Friendship as Longevity Superpower 0:03:20 Why Friendship Feels Harder With Age: Moves, Seasons, Exclusion 0:05:00 Not a “You” Problem: How School Systems Once Did the Work for Us 0:09:30 Proximity Power: Urban Commune & Designing Life Around Friends 0:13:40 Alignment Rules: High-Intimacy Requires High-Agreement 0:16:30 Book Club Moms: When Curiosity Matters More Than Compatibility 0:19:40 Beyond Echo Chambers: Resisting Moral Narcissism and Fear of Difference 0:24:00 Dunbar’s Circles: Intimates, Close Friends, Friends, Acquaintances 0:27:10 80/20 Social Energy Rule: Invest in Your Closest 10–15 People 0:30:10 When You Love the Friend but Not the Kids: Creative Third-Way Options 0:34:00 2 Paths to Relational Billionaire Status: Move to Your People or Root With Neighbors In this episode, we are digging into why making friends gets harder as we get older, how to set healthy expectations in adult friendships, how agreement and alignment within our friendships should match levels of commitment and intimacy, the different types and levels of friendship we need in our lives, and how many friendships we actually have capacity to maintain. LInks and Resources SEEDS: Download the free SEEDS app and take one small step today: plant your first seed and see what God can grow. Connect with Paula on Instagram Paula’s Newsletter is on Substack!! THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter is on Substack!! Paula’s Book: You Don’t Have To Carry It All Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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