The first time Will met Kelly Markiewicz, she walked into Cathy’s House (Recovery Housing in Medina County, Ohio) with a box full of red Christmas stockings. He picked one up and wondered why it was so heavy. Inside were socks, toothbrushes, full-size deodorant, and a Big Book. On this episode of Recovery Unfiltered with Nick and Will, Kelly tells us how those stockings came to be and how Stockings from Victor became our THIRD Season One Spotlight Nonprofit.

Kelly takes us back to when Victor was in recovery and asked her to bring extra supplies for the guys who had no one bringing them anything. She talks about loving him through his heroin addiction, the ways she tried to protect him, and how counseling and an art project made from his recovery workbooks helped her grieve after he died. When she remembers Victor, she remembers how quick he was to think of the person who might go without.

What started as a Christmas drive now brings hygiene products, socks, and other essentials to people in recovery at 22 facilities across Northeast Ohio. We talk about what it means to get a gift filled with things you can actually use, especially when you’re spending the holidays away from family. Somewhere between Charlie Brown and talk of putting reindeer antlers on the delivery truck, Kelly leaves us with a message for anyone going through a dark time. “Don’t give up on yourself because life is worth it.”

For this year’s Christmas drive, Kelly shares her goal of raising $8,000 by December 12 to help fill more than 800 stockings. It costs about $10 to fill one. If you’d like to help, you can donate or share the drive using the links below.

Connect with Stockings from Victor

• Website — https://stockingsfromvictor.org/
• Ways to donate — https://stockingsfromvictor.org/ways-to-donate/
• Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/stockingsfromvictor/
• Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/stockingsfromvictor

Want to join us as a guest for Season Two in 2027? Email therecoveryunfilteredpodcast@gmail.com.

Listener discretion advised. This episode discusses substance use and the death of a loved one.

Music licensed through Soundstripe.

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Kristin Baum hired Will at Family Video, fired him, and years later wrote the foreword to his memoir, Colors Across the Sky: A Journey of Hope. On this episode of Recovery Unfiltered with Nick and Will, she joins the guys to talk about the friendship that lasted through all of it.

Kristin remembers the call when Will told her he’d just gotten out of jail, the daily gratitude texts that followed, and the moment in his manuscript she couldn’t shake. Moments after being sentenced, Will stood in handcuffs, laughing through tears. When the man beside him asked why he was laughing, Will told him, “I prayed for this.” Nick shares the morning he finally picked up the phone and started calling treatment centers.

Between old Family Video stories and a surprise Mickey Mouse impression, the three talk about how perfectionism can follow you into recovery and what it looks like to help someone take the next step. Kristin shares how she connected a real estate client with recovery support in Medina County and leaves listeners with a message of her own. It’s never too late to ask for help.

Find out more about Kristin: https://www.evrealestate.com/en/shops/cleveland/our-advisors/kristin-baum/3d034824-be16-4d06-83ed-fb41606d3513

Find Will's book, Colors Across The Sky: A Journey of Hope on Amazon!: https://a.co/d/03SmKtg4

Check out www.colorsacrossthesky.com for more information!

Want to be a guest on Recovery Unfiltered with Nick and Will for SEASON TWO in 2027? Send an email to: therecoveryunfilteredpodcast@gmail.com

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“I used to say that my life is boring, but I’ve come to understand that it’s peaceful.”

On this episode of Recovery Unfiltered with Nick and Will, we sit down with our dear friend Jabari Anderson, a Cleveland recovery and mental health advocate who had three years and five months clean when we recorded. Jabari takes us from growing up in New York with his Jamaican mom and serving in the church’s audiovisual ministry to experiencing homelessness, using methamphetamine, and eventually entering treatment in Ohio.

Jabari talks about how people-pleasing shaped his choices, what it was like when his mom needed to step back during his addiction, and how he found a spiritual practice of his own in recovery. He also remembers walking into treatment with a peer recovery certificate and asking a case manager how to put it to work. Her answer was simple. Focus on your treatment. Years later, working in behavioral health himself, he understands what she was trying to tell him.

We get into the stuff that still comes up years into recovery, too. How do you leave work at work when you care about the people you serve? How do you give yourself room to make a mistake when you already feel like you have to prove you belong? Jabari brings plenty of humor to those questions and leaves us with a message for anyone trying to make it to their next milestone, whether that’s a 30-day chip, a diploma, or another day clean.

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Three witches, questionable wigs, and absolutely no chance of keeping this conversation professional.

Nick Fantozzi and Will Cashman welcome addiction medicine physician and person in long-term recovery Dr. Nicole Labor for a Halloween special recorded live. Dressed as the Sanderson sisters, the three get into childhood memories, Italian family dinners, relationship quirks, and why Nicole would choose a haunted house over a waiting room full of people who Googled their symptoms.

Nicole opens up about growing up afraid to disappoint people, learning to hide her feelings behind “I’m fine,” and building an identity around what she thought others expected. She also shares what keeps her going through the demands of addiction medicine and how hearing from former patients reconnects her with her purpose.

Between the costume adjustments and candy corn arguments, we talk about:

• People-pleasing, emotional suppression, and the pressure to appear strong.
• Nicole’s explanation of glutamate, memory, and recovery triggers.
• Addiction stigma and her wish for people to understand addiction as a chronic disease.
• Caring for yourself when someone you love is struggling with substance use.
• Halloween rapid-fire questions, Hocus Pocus trivia, and some deeply questionable tangents.

We also share a preview of Not in My Backyard, the upcoming novel Will is working on with Nicole. Told through an adult narrator looking back on his father’s addiction through his childhood eyes, the story explores family, recovery, and stigma, with a planned March 2027 release.

Expect plenty of swearing, personal stories, and three people trying to finish a conversation while their wigs slowly become unbearable.

Explicit language and adult humor throughout.

You can find out more about Dr. Nicole Labor here: theaddictsdoc.com

Follow Dr. Nicole Labor here: www.facebook.com/theaddictsdoc

Want to be a guest for our upcoming Season Two in 2027? Send an email to: therecoveryunfilteredpodcast@gmail.com

Music licensed through Soundstripe.

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Addiction treatment professional, author, researcher, and recovery advocate John J. Giordano joins Nick and Will for an honest conversation about nearly 42 years in recovery, the experiences that changed his life, and the work he believes still needs to happen in addiction treatment.

John shares his story of growing up around organized crime, surviving childhood trauma, and navigating addiction before entering treatment at 37. He opens up about early recovery, the struggle to accept help, and the spiritual awakenings that helped him begin rebuilding his life. From getting his GED to opening a treatment center and working alongside researchers, his story gives us plenty to talk about—and he brings the humor to match.

We get into John’s approach to treating the whole person, including physical health, mental health, nutrition, trauma, and the behaviors that can continue affecting our lives in recovery. He shares his perspective on gaps in treatment, the importance of connection, and what it takes to build a life we want to keep showing up for.

We also discuss John’s work with ibogaine and his views on psychedelic approaches to addiction treatment. The conversation includes medical screening and supervision, integration, and the importance of ongoing therapy, mutual support, and personal growth.

Along the way, we talk about shame, honesty in the counseling relationship, finding purpose, and learning how to handle the feelings we spent years trying to escape. There’s strong language, plenty of laughter, and a message of hope from someone who remembers exactly where his recovery began:

“Never give up before the miracle happens.”

Connect with John J. Giordano

Website: https://johnjgiordano.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/john.giordano.3958

Content advisory: This episode may contain mature or sensitive subject matter. Listener discretion is advised.

Recovery Unfiltered with Nick and Will is provided for entertainment purposes only and does not constitute clinical advice, counseling, diagnosis, or treatment.

Want to be a guest?
Send an email to: therecoveryunfilteredpodcast@gmail.com

Follow Recovery: Unfiltered with Nick and Will on Facebook:
https://facebook.com/therecoveryunfilteredpodcast

Shop official podcast merchandise:
https://colorsacrossthesky.printful.me/

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What does asking for help look like when you’re afraid your entire community will judge you for it?

This week on Recovery Unfiltered with Nick and Will, we’re joined by Dublin filmmaker and Talking with Patrick host Patrick Doran for a conversation about addiction, stigma, and the people working to make recovery possible in Ireland.

Patrick takes us behind his documentary, Hope in a Crack Epidemic, sharing how a story about threatened funding led him to CARP, the Community Addiction Response Programme in Killinarden, Tallaght. There, he followed women navigating crack cocaine addiction, motherhood, trauma, and the daily pressure of living in communities where drugs are readily available and asking for help can feel dangerous.

We talk about the program’s use of contingency management, the importance of food and family support, and what happens when people have a safe place to speak honestly. Patrick also shares his experience filming CARP’s men’s program, where a game of pool can give someone room to start opening up.

Along the way, we get into peer support, prevention, the conversations Patrick brings to his own podcast, and why recovery communities across countries need to share what they’re learning. There are tears, a little Irish “craic,” and a heartfelt message from Nick and Will to the people at CARP who are showing up for themselves every day.

Connect with Patrick and explore his work:

🎙️ Talking with Patrick on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/4ATl2R4ov9AyURfeDNjCXq?si=70a7a81dfa03476a

🎬 FilmFreeway:
https://filmfreeway.com/PatrickDoran

📺 Watch Hope in a Crack Epidemic:
https://youtu.be/5CshmLO17cQ?si=3tUDFZVuG_l2TLdo

📸 Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/talkingwithpatrick/

💬 Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61586310817034

Listener discretion advised: This episode includes explicit language and discussions of substance use, trauma, and abuse. Recovery Unfiltered with Nick and Will is intended for educational and entertainment purposes and does not replace professional medical or mental health care.

Drama, gossip, rumors, and people who apparently have way too much time to worry about everybody else's recovery. Yep, we're going there.

In this episode of Recovery Unfiltered with Nick and Will, Nick Fantozzi and Will Cashman tackle something that can do real damage in recovery communities: drama in the rooms. What happens when the very places we turn to for support become environments filled with gossip, judgment, and broken trust? How do we protect our recovery, establish boundaries, and continue showing up for ourselves when other people can't seem to mind their own damn business?

We explore anonymity, confidentiality, principles before personalities, and the emotional consequences of rumors and unnecessary conflict. Because when someone stops attending meetings because they no longer feel safe or supported, that's a conversation worth having.

Then we shift gears into the art of actually having a meaningful conversation. And yes, there's a difference between asking someone how they're doing and genuinely wanting to understand their answer.

Will brings his clinical counseling experience into the discussion, breaking down motivational interviewing, active listening, open-ended questions, emotional validation, and practical de-escalation techniques. We explore how simple questions like "Can you help me understand?" and "What does that look like for you?" can change the direction of a conversation, especially when emotions are running high.

Of course, this wouldn't be Recovery Unfiltered with Nick and Will without some completely unhinged detours. We've got road rage, gummy bears, Grindr conversations, questionable Disney references, angry eyebrows, and Nick discovering that telling an angry person to calm down might be the worst possible idea.

We also get personal during our recovery check-in, discussing how our relationships with meetings, sponsorship, step work, service, and personal growth continue to evolve. Recovery changes as we change, and we're both learning what sustainable recovery looks like in our own lives.

In this episode, we're talking about:

• Gossip, drama, and protecting anonymity in recovery fellowships
• Setting boundaries without feeding unnecessary conflict
• Why meaningful conversations require more than surface-level questions
• Active listening, emotional validation, and motivational interviewing
• De-escalating difficult conversations through tone, body language, and curiosity
• Taking ownership of our personal growth and recovery
• Finding balance between recovery commitments and everyday life

COMING UP!

Join us October 29 at 7 PM Eastern for our LIVE Halloween Spooktacular featuring special guest Dr. Nicole Labor! Expect costumes, recovery conversations, and whatever chaos Nick and Will manage to create.

We also preview upcoming guests, our chemsex recovery workshop at the Beyond Gender Conference in Florida, and what's ahead as we work toward Season Two.

Support the Show

Team Nick and Will merchandise:
https://colorsacrossthesky.printful.me/

Vote for Nick and Will in the 2026 iHeartRadio Top Host competition:
https://tophost.org/2026/will-cashman

Listener discretion is advised. This podcast is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. The discussions and opinions expressed are not a substitute for professional medical, mental health, or addiction treatment advice.

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What happens when the person you love is struggling with addiction, and somewhere along the way, you begin losing yourself trying to save them?

In Episode 27 of Recovery Unfiltered with Nick and Will, we welcome Ryan Allen Carrillo, a professional athlete, television personality, LGBTQ+ advocate, and author, for an unfiltered conversation about love, addiction, codependency, trauma, and finding the courage to choose yourself.

Ryan has lived an extraordinary life. From performing alongside Madonna, Beyoncé, and P!nk to competing as a professional roller skater and appearing on national television, his career has taken him around the world. But behind the accomplishments and success was a personal battle that no amount of fame, determination, or professional achievement could prepare him for.

After building a life, family, and successful business with his partner of 14 years, Ryan discovered that crystal methamphetamine addiction had become a devastating presence in their relationship. What followed was years of emotional turmoil, manipulation, broken trust, attempts to intervene, and the painful realization that loving someone cannot make them choose recovery.

Ryan opens up about the devastating impact addiction can have on partners and families, including the trauma of watching someone you love become increasingly unrecognizable. He shares how a five-day incarceration became an unexpected turning point, why Al-Anon helped him begin reclaiming his life, and what he means when he describes himself as having become "addicted to hope."

Nick and Will bring their own lived experiences with substance use disorder into the conversation, exploring codependency, accountability, enabling, boundaries, and the grief of mourning someone who is still alive.

Ryan also introduces his forthcoming book, I Loved You Sober: Loving an Addict, Losing Myself and Finding My Way Back, which chronicles his relationship, the impact of addiction, and his ongoing journey toward healing.

Through honest reflection, unexpected humor, and moments of profound vulnerability, this episode addresses an often-overlooked part of addiction: the people who love someone struggling with it.

"Saving him is killing me." — Ryan Allen Carrillo

For anyone who has ever loved someone with addiction, questioned their own reality, struggled to establish boundaries, or wondered when it was finally time to take care of themselves, this conversation is for you.

Connect with Ryan Allen Carrillo:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ryanacarrillo

IMDb: https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1304402/?_ssoLoop=1

Substack: https://ryanacarrillo.substack.com/

Listen to Recovery Unfiltered with Nick and Will

New episodes every Monday and Friday on Spotify and YouTube.

Listener Discretion Advised: This episode contains discussions of substance use disorder, emotional abuse, domestic conflict, trauma, and incarceration.

Recovery Unfiltered with Nick and Will is intended for educational and entertainment purposes only. The perspectives shared are personal experiences and should not be considered clinical or medical advice.

Recovery is possible. Healing is possible. And nobody has to face it alone.