We know our parents as Mom and Dad. We know the stories they’ve told us, the family history, the traditions, the big moments.

But how well do we really know the people they were before they became our parents?

In this episode of Message in the Middle, I’m talking with Neil Taylor, founder of Me and My Old Man, about the conversations we so often put off with our aging parents and the stories we may never get to hear if we wait too long.

Neil’s own journey into this work began in 2021, when he lost his dad, Patrick, after a long struggle with dementia. Six days later, his son was born. In that space between losing his father and becoming a father, Neil found himself thinking about all the questions he still had for his dad and could no longer ask.

That realization led him to create Me and My Old Man, a 12-week guided experience that helps adult children sit down with their parents and talk about the things that really matter. The conversations are recorded and turned into a life story audiobook the family can keep.

Neil has now recorded more than 350 hours of life stories with families across six countries.

We talk about why we often know our parents through the role they played in our lives, but may never take the time to know the whole person behind that role. We talk about the ordinary stories that can turn out to be the most meaningful, why we keep waiting for the “right” time to have these conversations, what dementia can teach us about not waiting, and what adult children often wish they had asked.

And we go somewhere a little more personal too. I ask Neil what he would ask his own dad if he had one more hour.

This conversation left me thinking about my own grandparents and parents, and about all the stories sitting inside the people we love that we may never think to ask about.

Because sometimes the question isn’t whether we love our parents.

It’s whether we’ve taken the time to really know them.

Connect with Neil:

• Website
• The 107 questions (free resource)
• LinkedIn

Connect with Marianne:

• Website: Message In The Middle with Marianne
• Message In the Middle Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/422430469323847/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MessageInTheMiddle/playlists
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marianne-demello-smith-678b9966
• Email: Contact | Message In The Middle with Marianne

Subscribe to Message In the Middle:

• Apple Podcasts
• Spotify
• YouTube

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What if your child’s success has quietly become your success, and their struggles feel like your failures?

For many mothers, that connection can be hard to see, especially after our children become adults. We know we can't control their choices, yet we still worry, advise, fix, compare, and sometimes lie awake at 2 a.m. wondering if we somehow got it wrong.

That is exactly where today’s conversation with Gigi Baxter begins.

Gigi spent thirty years quietly grading herself as a mother. When one of her three children was thriving, she gave herself an A. When one struggled, that grade dropped. Eventually, she realized she had confused motherhood with her own identity and was carrying emotional problems that were never hers to carry.

That realization became her book, Your Children Are NOT Your Report Card: How to Love Your Adult Children Without Losing Yourself.

In this episode, Gigi and I talk about the invisible report card so many mothers carry, grieving the imaginary versions of our children, and recognizing the difference between loving support and trying to fix or control their lives.

We also talk about the "emotional suitcases" we carry for our adult children, the Parenting Olympics, Gigi's "Board Seat, Not CEO" approach, and her simple "Mute & Pause" practice for those moments when our instinct is to jump in.

If you've ever wondered whether you're carrying something that belongs to your adult child, or if you've ever questioned where your identity ends and motherhood begins, this conversation is for you.

Because loving our children deeply doesn't mean we have to carry their lives for them.

Sometimes, putting down the report card is where we finally begin coming home to ourselves.

Connect with Gigi:

• Website
• Amazon Book Page
• Instagram
• Facebook
• Twitter/X

Connect with Marianne:

• Website: Message In The Middle with Marianne
• Message In the Middle Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/422430469323847/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MessageInTheMiddle/playlists
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marianne-demello-smith-678b9966
• Email: Contact | Message In The Middle with Marianne

Subscribe to Message In the Middle:

• Apple Podcasts
• Spotify
• YouTube

Leave Us a Review: If you enjoyed today’s episode, please leave a review and share your favorite takeaway. Your feedback helps us reach more listeners and bring you even more valuable content.

Keep the conversation going - Join us for more insightful conversations in the Message in the Middle Private Facebook Community & subscribe to Message in the Middle podcas...

There are some life changes we choose. And then there are the ones that choose us.

In January 2024, Jennifer White woke from a coma following brain tumor surgery and found herself facing a life she barely recognized. A retired registered nurse, Jennifer knew the healthcare system from one side of the bed. Suddenly, she was experiencing it from the other.

She had to relearn how to walk, think and talk. Some memories returned slowly through writing. Others may never return. And while many of the changes were visible during her recovery, others remain hidden: depression, exhaustion, difficulty finding words and the emotional weight of rebuilding a life she never planned to have.

But somewhere in that recovery, something unexpected happened. Jennifer began to reinvent herself.

Writing became a way to reconnect with memories, discover new interests and make sense of who she was becoming. Today, she writes medical thrillers and children's books, drawing from both her experience as a nurse and her experience as a patient.

In this episode of Message in the Middle, Jennifer and I talk about what it really means to rebuild your identity after life changes without your permission. We talk about grief, resilience, invisible struggles, the difference between surviving and becoming, and what happens when you finally stop trying to get back to the person you were.

Because sometimes the goal isn't to get your old life back.

Sometimes it's to discover what comes next.

Connect with Jennifer:

• https://www.jennywhite.ca
• https://www.molsonjennyadventures.ca

Connect with Marianne:

• Website: Message In The Middle with Marianne
• Message In the Middle Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/422430469323847/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MessageInTheMiddle/playlists
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marianne-demello-smith-678b9966
• Email: Contact | Message In The Middle with Marianne

Subscribe to Message In the Middle:

• Apple Podcasts
• Spotify
• YouTube

Leave Us a Review: If you enjoyed today’s episode, please leave a review and share your favorite takeaway. Your feedback helps us reach more listeners and bring you even more valuable content.

Keep the conversation going - Join us for more insightful conversations in the Message in the Middle Private Facebook Community & subscribe to Message in the Middle podcas...