Episode 4: Becoming a Man of Virtue — Humility, Obedience & Purpose

Who are you when you don’t get your way? When your pride is challenged, obedience feels uncomfortable, and doing the right thing costs you something?

In this episode of Lead the Home, I share honestly about my own failures, lessons from my marriage, and the ongoing work of becoming a man whose actions reflect his faith. We explore what it means to hold virtue in difficult moments—to listen instead of defend, remain present instead of withdraw, and become someone your wife and children can feel safe with.

At the heart of this conversation is volitional humility: choosing humility when your strength, success, or position gives you the opportunity not to. It is the choice to use your strength to serve rather than control, to hear someone rather than win the argument, and to surrender your pride without surrendering your responsibility to lead.

We also confront willful sin—lust, pornography, anger, ego, and selfishness—and the ways we make room for what holds us back. I share how saying yes to God, especially in the things that make me uncomfortable, has helped me say no to the things that pull me away from Him. Obedience is more than turning away from sin; it is stepping into the purpose God is calling us toward. Obedience leads to purpose, and through obedience, we develop virtue.

This is not a message from a man who has arrived. It is an honest conversation from a man still becoming—learning to face his weaknesses, depend on God’s grace, and live with enough consistency that his family can stand beside him and say, “This is the man that he says he is.”

The challenge is personal: What is God asking you to leave behind? What is He asking you to step into? And who could you become if you stopped delaying your obedience?

Lead the home. Put on Christ. Die to self.

In this episode of Lead the Home, Chase and Kaylee open up about one of the most difficult and defining struggles in their marriage: intimacy.

From their wedding night to years of frustration, miscommunication, rejection, and shame—this conversation walks through the reality many couples face but few talk about.

They unpack:

• Why men often outsource intimacy (pornography, lust, avoidance)

• Why women may withdraw from intimacy

• How past wounds, expectations, and fear shape marriage dynamics

• The role of godly masculinity vs. boyish behavior

• How obedience to God transformed their relationship

• The power of James 5:16 – confession and healing

• What it actually looks like to flee sexual sin and pursue real intimacy

This episode is not about perfection.

It’s about repentance, growth, and becoming the man and woman God calls you to be—together.

In this episode, I’m speaking directly to men.

Lead The Home is a place for strong men to be weak — a space for vulnerability, confession, prayer, and real transformation. I talk about the “line” between good and evil, how obedience moves us away from it, and why the wrestling between flesh and spirit is actually a sign that God is working in you.

We’ll talk about lust, anger, pride, and the hidden shame that keeps men from leading spiritually. We’ll also open Romans 7–8 and James 5:16 to lay out what Scripture says about the fight — and the freedom available in Christ.

If you’re trying to become the kind of man who can lead himself, lead his home, and glorify God without pretending you’ve got it all together… this one’s for you.

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Key themes

• Lead The Home = vulnerability for strong men

• The “line”: good vs evil, consecration vs compromise

• Obedience moves the needle

• The wrestling is good (it means the Spirit is alive in you)

• Shame disables spiritual leadership

• Ego is a trap: it promises satisfaction but produces harm

• Volitional humility vs circumstantial humility