No guest today, just you and me so grab a coffee and come hang.

In this one I take a question I've been asking myself lately: Where's my energy going? and I run through what's been happening in my world, the good stuff and the messy stuff.

In this episode:

• The dance between needing rest and pushing through, and asking "what if I just enjoyed it?"
• School holidays, camping with my teenage son and chasing the perfect baked potato.
• Making space for the different relationships in my life.
• Where I'm at in my third year of studying Gestalt therapy, and moving from the head to the heart.
• What I learned from an Indigenous psychotherapist about Dadirri (deep listening) and not knowing, and how it sparked the Good Question series.
• The phone and why scrolling after a big day leaves me feeling worse.
• Why picking up a book has been more restful than I expected.
• My honest take on social media, influencers and putting myself out there.
• Moving my practice out of the house and finding the middle ground.

Questions to sit with

• Where's your energy going lately?
• Where's it leaking?
• What's filling it back up?

No need for neat answers, just put them in the ground and see what grows.

If you're enjoying the show, hit follow so you don't miss the next one. Got a question about your mental or emotional world you'd love explored in the Good Question series?

Send it through.

And if you want to explore any of this a bit deeper, get in touch:
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Welcome to the first episode of the Good Question series.

There's a lot of noise out there from people who seem to know everything, this series is the opposite.

Each episode I take one question I hear a lot in the therapy room and in groups and we get curious about it together. No experts, no easy answers, just good questions to sit with and explore in your own life.

This first one's a big one: why do I feel responsible for other people's feelings?

If you read the room the second you walk in, feel guilty when someone's upset even when it's got nothing to do with you, or feel like it's your job to fix everyone's bad day, this one's for you.

In this episode:

• What it looks like to take on everyone else's emotions
• My own story of growing up as the one keeping the peace at home
• The polarity of caring and being scared of what happens if people aren't okay
• What this pattern might be protecting us from, and why it's so hard to let go of
• Three questions to reflect on
• A simple experiment to try this week

The three questions

1. When did you first learn that keeping other people okay was your job?
2. What do you think will happen if someone's upset and you don't fix it?
3. Where are your feelings while you're busy looking after everyone else's?

No need for solid answers. Put them in the ground and see what grows.

This week's experiment
Level 1: Notice when you start managing someone else's mood. What's happening in your body?
Level 2: Next time someone's upset and it isn't yours to fix, stay kind but don't fix it. Try "that sounds really hard" and notice the urge to do more.

Follow the show so you don't miss the next one. Got a question you'd love explored in the series? Send it through.

And if you want to explore this a bit deeper, get in touch:


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Freya Smee is a Gestalt therapist who works with couples on conflict, communication and connection. In this episode, we talk about why the same fights keep happening, the stories we tell ourselves about each other and how to feel seen and heard in your relationship.

Freya also shares her own journey into this work. Learning to stop putting herself last, letting the sensitive parts of herself be seen and why couples work lights her up. She has a simple way of putting it... "your differences aren't the problem, the story you attach to them is."

Most fights aren't really about the dishes. Underneath the "you never" there's usually something softer. I'm sad. I'm scared I don't matter. I just want you to see me. When we can own the story we're telling ourselves things slow down and the other person gets a chance to lean in instead of reaching for their sword.

If you put everyone else first then snap when there's nothing left or if you find it hard to ask for help, this one's for you.

In this episode:

• How the patterns we learn growing up show up in our relationships.
• Overgiving, resentment and anger outbursts.
• Why anger feels so scary and what it's really telling us.
• "I'm making up a story that…" and why it changes arguments.
• Why your differences aren't the problem.
• The difference between owning your feelings and "you made me feel this."
• What's really going on underneath the fight.
• Hyper-independence and why asking for help feels so hard.
• The fear of not being enough.
• The inner critic and the parts of us sitting at the dinner table.
• Why accepting yourself is what actually lets you change.
• Rick on epilepsy, shame and the "dirty fuel" of proving yourself.

Connect with Freya

Connect with Rick