Holding Grief With a Gentle Grip: Learning to Carry What I Cannot Change
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Holding Grief With a Gentle Grip: Learning to Carry What I Cannot Change
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I used to believe grieving meant stopping my life to get over a loss, resolve it, let it go, and figure out how to make it hurt less. But, I’m learning that we instead carry grief while we continue to live. We respond to loss in very different ways and none of them are wrong. Today I reflected on a loss from my younger years that I held onto for far too long. I had made an immature decision all those years ago to never let go. I understand more today that letting go doesn’t mean letting go of the person, the love, or the memories. Instead, it is letting go of the pain and holding on to the memories and energy that serve me in my life. I can allow grief to hurt and still laugh. I can remember someone and still make plans for tomorrow. And even when I am powerless over what has happened, I can still choose where I anchor my thoughts.
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