If you've ever typed "am I bi" into a search bar at 2am, replayed every crush like courtroom evidence, or quietly made "exceptions" to the label you were using, this one's for you. Steve and Chad share real stories from the Give It To Me Bi community: wrong first labels, slow hindsight, dreams and crushes that didn't fit the boxes, and the moment "bisexual" finally became a word in someone's world. No checklist, no gatekeeping, no verdict required by the end of the episode. Just permission, patterns, and the company of people still figuring it out.

Chapters

• 00:00 — How do you actually know if you're bisexual?
• 01:09 — BiLights
• 07:47 — No single lightning bolt: wrong first labels & learning "bi" exists
• 31:15 — Messy clues: media, dreams, crushes & social noise
• 49:02 — Steve has questions about getting married
• 54:44 — Labels under the bi+ umbrella: bi, pan, queer, questioning, none
• 1:13:50 — What we wish someone had told us & the 11 positive aspects of bi identity

Related episodes:

• Ep 26 — How to be bisexual in a monogamous relationship
• Ep 27 — Coming out bisexual later in life
• Ep 11 — Bisexuality Explained: Your Burning Questions
• Ep 10 — Why Are Bisexual Men Still in Hiding in 2024?
• Ep 7 — Coming Out as Bisexual in 2024

Links & Reading

• Website
• Join the Give It To Me Bi community
• Subscribe to the newsletter
• Research: The positive aspects of a bisexual self-identification
• Guide: 'How to Support Someone Who's Come Out as Bisexual'

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Coming out as bi+ doesn't come with a deadline.

If you came out (or you're still coming out) at 30, 50, 70, or any age that didn't match the storybook teen-coming-out timeline, this episode is for you. We want this to be a big warm hug.

Steve and Chad sit with the full range of what coming out later actually feels like. As Steve puts it on this episode, "all of these things can be true at once. It can be great, it can be amazing, it could be awful, it can be horrible, it can mean nothing, it can mean everything." Relief, panic, limbo, grief, pride, sometimes all in the same week.

We talk about telling your spouse, family, and friends, why you don't owe everyone the same level of access to your identity, the AIB model and split attraction, the grief of paths not taken, and how we talk about the lives we did or didn't live.

Out to a handful is still out. Later doesn't mean less. Forward this to whoever needs it.

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🔗 Read this month's column at the Star Observer: "No Script For This" by Chad → https://tinyurl.com/ycynw88w

📚 Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Bisexual Killjoy podcast → https://www.bisexualkilljoy.com/

• Star Observer on Leigh Ryswyk → https://tinyurl.com/5n8sb4c6

🎧 If this one resonated, our back catalogue has more:

• Ep 7 *Coming Out as Bisexual in 2024* — the baseline coming-out conversation

• Ep 3 *Bisexual Visibility and Generational Shifts* — language and scripts shifting across decades

• Ep 6 *Exploring Bisexual Relationships and Research* — relationship and research context

🤝 Need to support someone who's coming out?

We made a resource for that. Send it to whoever needs the leg up → https://tinyurl.com/msb7ppz6

👯 Stay with us:

• Follow / subscribe wherever you're listening so the next episode lands in your feed

• Join the Give It To Me Bi community on Facebook → https://tinyurl.com/n5rpd4dc

• Subscribe to the newsletter → https://tinyurl.com/45sfmamc

• Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/giveittomebi/

• Everything else lives at → https://tinyurl.com/852k48je

If this episode hit something for you, forward it to one person who needs it.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're back. Season 2 is here and we are straight into it. Well, not straight...

This week we're tackling one of the most requested topics in the history of this show: how do you stay connected to your bi+ identity when you're in a monogamous relationship? And what does your partner actually need to know?

Whether you've ever thought maybe I'm not bi enough because I'm in a relationship, or you're a partner trying to figure out how to show up, this one's for both of you.

In this episode:

• Attraction, identity and relationship agreement are three completely different things. We use Robyn Ochs' definition of bisexuality to unpack why the "scorecard" question is the wrong question entirely — and who keeps asking for it.
• Mixed orientation relationships. What happens when one person in a relationship is bi+ and the other isn't, and why the unspoken agreement is almost always the most dangerous one.
• For the partner listening. Your bi+ person isn't afraid of you. They're afraid of everything the world has told you about them. There's a difference and it matters.
• The research is clear. Partner acceptance doesn't just make bi+ people feel better. It makes relationships better. We get into why.
• Chad's personal story. Coming out to his late partner Heidi mid-relationship — the rupture it created, the conversations that followed, and how it became one of the greatest joys of his life.
• And more!

Monogamy does not cancel bisexuality. Non-monogamy does not prove it.

Links:

• Join the Give It To Me Bi community
• Follow us on Instagram
• Star Observer column

Give It To Me Bi acknowledges that we live and work on Gadigal land. We pay our respects to elders past and present. Sovereignty was never ceded.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.