Children rarely say they are anxious. They say their stomach hurts. Teenagers slam doors and stop handing in work.

In this episode of Finding Sanctuary, Debbie Draybi sits down with GP Dr Sarah Nakhel and psychologist Cristie Khouri to unpack how anxiety presents in children and teenagers, why a diagnosis is an explanation and not an excuse, and how our own anxiety transfers to our kids.

You will learn what to watch for, when to seek help, and the first step to take.

Key Takeaways:

• Anxiety Rarely Announces Itself: In children it usually arrives as a stomach ache or a headache, and in teenagers as anger, withdrawal or unfinished schoolwork, so the first sign is often something you can see rather than a worry they can name.
• Normal Worry Has A Line: Anxiety is the body's alarm system and everyone needs it, and it becomes worth acting on when it starts costing your child their schooling, friendships or daily routine.
• An Explanation, Not An Excuse: Knowing what a diagnosis is actually for lets it open doors for your child rather than quietly close them.
• Kids Learn From What You Do: The messages that shape an anxious child are usually shown rather than said, which makes noticing your own worry, and the worry you inherited, the place to start.
• Your Job Is To Become Redundant: Every time you let your child try, stumble and recover, you give them something they will need long after they stop needing you.
• Listen Before You Fix: A minute of listening without correcting tells your child it is safe to keep talking, and five minutes in the car or at the kitchen bench counts.

Notable Quotes:

1. "They don't come in saying, I'm anxious or I'm worried or I'm nervous. Usually it's a somatic or a physical symptom." — Dr Sarah Nakhel
2. "I always say to the teenagers I work with, it's an explanation, it's not an excuse." — Cristie Khouri
3. "I tell parents all the time, our job as parents is to become redundant." — Cristie Khouri
4. "I went to uni for eight years, and that's not where I gained most of my experience and my knowledge. Being a parent, being a wife, being a daughter, being a sister. All of those things have taught me more than eight years doing a degree." — Dr Sarah Nakhel
5. "Because of our own anxiety, we abandon ourself and think that this is too complex. But trust that you know your child." — Debbie Draybi

You and your mental health is important to us. If this episode brought up any heavy emotions, please know you do not need to carry them alone. Reach out to Lifeline, Beyond Blue, or the counselling service at Hills Sanctuary house at hshl.org.au

Do subscribe to this podcast to get the latest episodes of Finding Sanctuary.

Follow us on
Facebook - Christ the Redeemer Maronite Catholic Parish of The Hills
Instagram - @hills_sanctuary_house
Blog - https://hshl.org.au/blog/

Joy Adan does not answer questions in this episode. She takes the reins and facilitates a live workshop with Debbie and Natalie, and two therapists end up in the client's chair. Joy is an ICF-accredited coach whose story runs through migration, scarcity and a hard season of new motherhood. She introduces concepts from coaching, intentional change, and life design to unpack how to live life from a place of abundance instead of burnout. They name the armour they wear, what it protects them from, and what it has cost. You will learn to read your emotions as information, and how to build a restoration menu you will actually use.

Key Takeaways:

• Armour Is Learned, Not Chosen: The role you play to feel safe, whether that is the strong one, the helper, or the one who never needs anything, was shaped long before you ever agreed to it.
• Every Armour Has A Cost: It almost certainly kept you safe once, and the question worth sitting with is what it has quietly taken from you since.
• Emotions Carry No Moral Verdict: Sadness, disappointment and jealousy are information about an unmet need, not evidence that something is wrong with you.
• Rest Is Not Something You Earn: Refuelling before the tank is empty is not indulgence, it is the only way to keep showing up for the people who rely on you.
• Restoration Is Personal: What restores you will not restore your partner or your best mate, so write your own menu while you still have the energy to think clearly.
• You Were Never Meant To Carry It Alone: Being intentional about whose voice you turn up, and whose you turn down, changes your confidence and your direction.

Notable Quotes:

1. "An armour is heavy. Even though it may have helped us survive in the past, and it might have helped us belong and succeed in the past, I might be able to put some of that away and set it down." — Joy Adan
2. "By the end of my marriage I was completely depleted and I didn't even recognise myself anymore." — Debbie Draybi
3. "Emotions don't carry moral verdicts. I grew up with this unspoken message that if an emotion made me uncomfortable, it was bad." — Joy Adan
4. "Rest is not something I have to earn. I need to refuel before my tank is empty. I should not be waiting for that light to come on." — Joy Adan
5. "I'm known for my hugs. I'm a hug giver. But no, I don't think I've ever asked for a hug." — Natalie Moujalli

You and your mental health is important to us. If this episode brought up any heavy emotions, please know you do not need to carry them alone. Reach out to Lifeline, Beyond Blue, or the counselling service at Hills Sanctuary house at hshl.org.au

Do subscribe to this podcast to get the latest episodes of Finding Sanctuary.

Follow us on
Facebook - Christ the Redeemer Maronite Catholic Parish of The Hills
Instagram - @hills_sanctuary_house
Blog - https://hshl.org.au/blog/

Episode Summary:

Anxiety is common in our community, and rarely talked about. Family therapist Lisa Makhlouf joins Debbie Draybi and Monsignor Shora to unpack From Anxiety to Anchored, the Hills Sanctuary House programme that brings psychology and faith together rather than setting them against each other. They talk honestly about spiritual bypassing, shame, and why praying harder is not the same as getting help. You will learn what anchored really means, how to spot faith being used as a mask, and why healing rarely happens alone.

Key Takeaways:

• Integrating spiritual practices with psychological insights can enhance mental health and spiritual wellbeing.
• Programs like "Anxiety to Anchored" demonstrate the effective fusion of faith and clinical therapy, fostering community healing.
• Addressing cultural stigmas around mental health within faith communities is vital for encouraging help-seeking behavior.
• Group-based programs provide not only education and support but also create spaces for collective healing and vulnerability sharing.
• There is a pressing need to tailor mental health programs to address specific demographics, such as women experiencing perimenopause-related anxiety.

Notable Quotes:

1. "The movement from anxiety to anchored is the faith. It's the knowing that I am here in this hard time, and yet I am not alone here." - Lisa Makhlouf
2. "When you do sit with someone and you do open up, it's not so complicated. It takes time, but it's a beautiful journey." - Monsignor Shora
3. "It's seeing all of them together and that they work together. They're connected." - Monsignor Shora
4. "I believe in the slow work of God. There is this slow work of God. I am held, I am loved, I am here." - Lisa Makhlouf
5. "Your presence matters for you and for the rest of the community because we benefit from being with each other." - Lisa Makhlouf

You and your mental health is important to us. If this episode brought up any heavy emotions, please know you do not need to carry them alone. Reach out to Lifeline, Beyond Blue, or the counselling service at Hills Sanctuary house at hshl.org.au

Do subscribe to this podcast to get the latest episodes of Finding Sanctuary.

Follow us on
Facebook - Christ the Redeemer Maronite Catholic Parish of The Hills
Instagram - @hills_sanctuary_house
Blog - https://hshl.org.au/blog/