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Find Your Freaks

Find Your Freaks

By: Tonya Kubo
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Ever felt too weird, too loud, too soft, too real — or just too complicated to belong? This podcast is your proof that you’re not alone. Find Your Freaks features raw, unfiltered conversations with people who are building belonging in unexpected places — and doing it by showing up exactly as they are. Hosted by community strategist Tonya Kubo, this show digs into the messy, beautiful truth of what it takes to find your people. New episodes on Thursdays starting June 2025. Come for the stories. Stay for the humanity. And if something hits home? Tell your weirdest friend and visit Ever felt too weird, too loud, too soft, too real — or just too complicated to belong? This podcast is your proof that you’re not alone. Find Your Freaks features raw, unfiltered conversations with people who are building belonging in unexpected places — and doing it by showing up exactly as they are. Hosted by community strategist Tonya Kubo, this show digs into the messy, beautiful truth of what it takes to find your people. New episodes on Thursdays starting June 2025. Come for the stories. Stay for the humanity. And if something hits home? Tell your weirdest friend and visit https://findyourfreaks.com/Copyright 2026 Tonya Kubo Economics Personal Development Personal Success Relationships Social Sciences
Episodes
  • 034 - Start Building Your Own Table with Danielle Tidwell

    034 - Start Building Your Own Table with Danielle Tidwell
    15 Oct 2026
    When Danie Tidwell got married in 2024, she couldn’t find vendors who matched the vibe she wanted — so she built the business herself. Now her mobile bartending company serves alt weddings across California, and she’s building a bridal collective so the next couple doesn’t have to search as hard as she did. In this episode, Danie and Tonya talk about what happens when you stop waiting for permission to be who you are — and what happens to your business when you do.You’ll Hear HowDanie went from DIY-ing her own 2024 wedding to launching a business six months later“Normie” couples — a teacher, a librarian, a crew of doctors — keep booking an “alt” bartending brand, and why that’s not a contradictionDanie builds community with competitors instead of around themTo signal you can do the work you want to do, even without a client portfolio yetEpisode Highlights00:01:24 – What happens when the community you need doesn’t exist yet00:03:34 – Danie’s own 2024 wedding and the vendor gap that started it all00:09:19 – “People just really vibe with authenticity” — even clients who aren’t outwardly alt00:10:05 – Jeff and Stacey’s TV Guide–themed wedding and the photographer story00:14:57 – The Pacific Grove birthday party: burlesque dancers, a pancake tradition, and a Scotch-forward Penicillin cocktail00:24:08 – Community over competition, proven in real time at a wedding expo00:39:22 – Her advice for vendors afraid of niching down: throw yourself a launch partyResources & MentionsThe Tipsy Hellcat websiteThe Tipsy Hellcat on InstagramThe Tipsy Hellcat on FacebookHellcat Bridal Collective (California) Facebook groupPenicillin cocktail (use Laphroaig Scotch instead of Islay)Meet Our GuestDanie Tidwell is the owner of The Tipsy Hellcat LLC, a mobile bartending business bringing bold, alternative energy to weddings and events across California. She’s building the Hellcat Bridal Collective, a community connecting alt couples and vendors who are ready to find their people.Meet Your HostTonya Kubo is a community strategist, writer, and rebel with a cause: helping people find the place where they truly belong. She’s spent nearly two decades building online spaces that feel more like chosen family than comment sections, and she’s not afraid to call out the fluff in favor of real connection. As the founder of Find Your Freaks, Tonya brings together unconventional thinkers, builders, and bridge-makers who believe that “normal” was never the point. When she’s not hosting the show, she’s raising two daughters, leading client communities, and making meaning out of the mess.Support the ShowIf Find Your Freaks matters to you, help us keep it ad-free by buying us a coffee (or two!). Every dollar goes to production so more weirdos can find their people.You can purchase Find Your Freaks merchandise online through Abilities and Attitudes.Let’s Stay FreakyFacebook GroupLinkedInInstagramPodcast HubWhat’s NextNext episode, Tonya goes solo to unpack a line Danie dropped mid-interview: “people just really vibe with authenticity.” She traces it back through four decades of reality TV — Candid Camera to Love Island — and forward into the age of AI avatars, landing on the distinction that’s driving the whole conversation: real just means something exists; authentic means it’s proven true to what it claims to be.
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    47 min
  • 033 - The People Who Hold Everyone Else Together

    033 - The People Who Hold Everyone Else Together
    17 Sep 2026
    Why boundaries don’t weaken communities. They strengthen them.Every community has someone who seems to hold everything together.They solve the problems. Remember what everyone else forgets. Step in when something falls through the cracks. And because they are capable, everyone keeps letting them.But what happens when one person becomes responsible for everyone else?In this solo episode of Find Your Freaks, Tonya Kubo reflects on her conversation with clergy coach Margaret Marcuson and why the lessons from sustainable ministry apply far beyond pastors.From teachers and healthcare workers to managers, parents, nonprofit leaders, caregivers, and the friend everyone calls in a crisis, Tonya explores what happens when being “the strong one” becomes an expectation.She shares why burnout cannot always be solved with another productivity system, how over-functioning can unintentionally teach the people around us to under-function, and why doing everything ourselves may actually prevent someone else from discovering what they are capable of doing.If you are always the person people depend on, or if you rely on someone who seems capable of handling everything, this episode asks an important question: What are you carrying that was never yours to carry in the first place?You’ll hear how:Margaret Marcuson’s lessons about sustainable ministry apply far beyond pastorsHigh-burnout professions often require people to carry struggles they cannot safely discuss publiclyBurnout is not always a productivity problemBoundaries ask a different question than productivity: What is actually yours to carry?Our willingness to carry everything can teach other people that they do not have to carry anythingOver-functioning can create under-functioning throughout an entire systemStepping back can give someone else the opportunity to discover what they are capable of doingHealthy communities share responsibility instead of depending on one person to make all the sacrificesThe invisible labor behind belonging needs to be sustainable tooEpisode Highlights[01:30] Why Margaret Marcuson’s lessons about sustainable ministry apply far beyond pastors[05:30] The struggles people in high-burnout professions cannot always talk about publicly[09:00] Why burnout may be a boundaries problem instead of a productivity problem[12:00] Boundaries, shared responsibility, and what happens when one person stops carrying everything[14:00] How doing everything can unintentionally teach other people not to step up[18:00] Why over-functioning creates under-functioning in the systems around us[21:00] Giving the strong people in our lives permission to be human and asking what was never ours to carryResources & MentionsSustainable Ministry: How to Lead and When to Nap by Margaret MarcusonEpisode 032: Why Pastors Stay (and Why It Matters That They Do) with Margaret MarcusonMeet Your HostTonya Kubo is a community strategist, writer, and rebel with a cause: helping people find the place where they truly belong. She’s spent nearly two decades building online spaces that feel more like chosen family than comment sections, and she’s not afraid to call out the fluff in favor of real connection. As the founder of Find Your Freaks, Tonya brings together unconventional thinkers, builders, and bridge-makers who believe that “normal” was never the point. When she’s not hosting the show, she’s raising two daughters, leading client communities, and making meaning out of the mess.Support the ShowIf Find Your Freaks matters to you, help us keep it ad-free by buying us a coffee (or two!). Every dollar goes to production so more weirdos can find their people.You can purchase Find Your Freaks merchandise online through Abilities and Attitudes.Let’s Stay FreakyFacebook GroupLinkedInInstagramPodcast HubWhat’s NextNext episode, Tonya talks with Danielle Tidwell, owner of The Tipsy Hellcat LLC, about what happens when the community you need doesn’t exist yet. Danielle is building the Hellcat Bridal Collective to connect alternative couples and vendors who are ready to stop searching for a seat at someone else’s table and create their own.
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    24 min
  • 032 – Why Pastors Stay (and Why It Matters That They Do) with Margaret Marcuson

    032 – Why Pastors Stay (and Why It Matters That They Do) with Margaret Marcuson
    3 Sep 2026
    Why sustainable ministry starts with knowing what is yours to carryPastors are called to care for people.But that does not mean they are called to carry everything.In this episode of Find Your Freaks, Tonya Kubo sits down with clergy coach, American Baptist minister, and author Margaret Marcuson to talk about what it takes for pastors and ministry leaders to stay in their work without losing themselves in the process.Margaret has spent more than two decades helping pastors become less burdened in ministry. She shares why over-responsibility is so common among leaders, how expectations from congregations and family patterns can reinforce it, and why setting limits is about more than time management. It requires clarity about your role, your responsibility, and your call.Together, Tonya and Margaret explore what happens when pastors step back, why guilt does not always mean you are making the wrong choice, and how taking less responsibility can create space for other people to grow.If you have ever felt responsible for keeping everything and everyone together, this conversation is a reminder that doing your part does not mean doing it all.You’ll hear how:Pastors are navigating financial pressure, political polarization, changing churches, and the everyday emotional demands of ministrySustainable leadership requires clarity of call and self-management, not simply better time managementTaking responsibility for everything can prevent other people from learning what they are capable of doingFamily patterns and expectations can shape how leaders relate to responsibilityGuilt can show up when you set a healthy boundary without meaning the boundary is wrongIntentional rest creates space to be free from responsibility before exhaustion forces you to stopHealthy churches make room for connection, differing perspectives, and leadership that is not centered entirely on the pastorPastors can begin creating sustainable ministry by protecting time off, staying connected to healthy people, and learning to “keep calm-ish”Leaving one church does not necessarily mean leaving ministry, and leaving ministry does not mean you have failed your callingEpisode Highlights[01:30] What pastors and ministry leaders are carrying right now[06:50] Why sustainable ministry requires self-management and clarity of call[10:30] Taking the church off your back and letting go of the outcome[14:10] Why over-responsibility can become part of a leader’s identity[17:30] False guilt and what happens when you finally step back[21:10] Why naps, rest, and turning off notifications belong in sustainable ministry[25:00] Is church still worth it and what makes a church healthy?[28:20] Three small ways pastors can make ministry more sustainable[30:00] What to consider when you are thinking about leaving ministryResources & MentionsSustainable Ministry: How to Lead and When to Nap by Margaret MarcusonLeaders Who Last by Margaret MarcusonMargaret Marcuson’s clergy coachingMeet Our GuestMargaret Marcuson is a clergy coach, American Baptist minister, and author who has spent more than two decades helping pastors and ministry leaders develop sustainable approaches to leadership. After serving as a pastor herself for about 15 years, Margaret began coaching clergy to lead with greater freedom, clarity, and less over-responsibility. Her latest book, Sustainable Ministry: How to Lead and When to Nap, explores how pastors can take responsibility for themselves within the systems they serve without carrying the entire church on their backs.Meet Your HostTonya Kubo is a community strategist, writer, and rebel with a cause: helping people find the place where they truly belong. She’s spent nearly two decades building online spaces that feel more like chosen family than comment sections, and she’s not afraid to call out the fluff in favor of real connection. As the founder of Find Your Freaks, Tonya brings together unconventional thinkers, builders, and bridge-makers who believe that “normal” was never the point. When she’s not hosting the show, she’s raising two daughters, leading client communities, and making meaning out of the mess.Support the ShowIf Find Your Freaks matters to you, help us keep it ad-free by buying us a coffee (or two!). Every dollar goes to production so more weirdos can find their people.You can purchase Find Your Freaks merchandise online through Abilities and Attitudes.Let’s Stay FreakyFacebook GroupLinkedInInstagramPodcast HubWhat’s NextNext episode, Tonya reflects on how Margaret’s perspective applies far beyond pastors to anyone expected to hold other people together. What does it cost to become everyone else’s emotional safety net?
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    32 min
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