We came back! We recorded this ages ago but the summer got out of hand - please excuse our out of date references to contemporary events and settle down for your Autumn in Capeside, where events continue to be troubling.

Trigger warnings - Double dating with your ex, being tricked onto a double date because you're an easy mark and a pointless brunette, being used by your parents to telephone monitor their workplace affairs and your Marine Biology homework turning into the spectre of snails tragically f***ing each other to death. If any of these issues affect you, Dawson's Creek may have ruined your life.

What's the best way to get over someone do you reckon? Dawson thinks it's by going daytime clubbing with Jen's adult ex boyfriend, and we really don't think it's that, actually. Elsewhere, Joey has a crypto-pregnancy, Jen lights a lot of candles and Teen Queen Abbi Morgan enters her confused 90s feminist era.

Meanwhile, thousands of miles away from Capeside and decades in the future, Rachel gives some free and frank opinions on daytime raving in Halifax, Bryony admits to 'watching' this show with her eyes closed and our dear producer admits to enjoying the occasional WKD Blue...

Welcome back - quick fyi, all lighthearted allusions to MAFS in this episode were made before recent distressing events!

Down in Capeside, there's a new sports car in town and this time its driven by Old Man Billy, as Jen's Big City past comes back to haunt us all, most of all Dawson. Who doesn't want an old greaser staying in their bedroom and stealing their girl?

Elsewhere, Joey can't sleep, Pacey is a one man English Patient and Mitch n' Gail have to go scuba diving to save the marriage. Also, Bryony's excellent idea for a dating app inspired by Rachel's chaotic childhood and more allusions to one host's chronic cancer!

In which Rachel tells Bryony about her recent series of burns, the young people of Capeside are given detention for acts that should actually see them stand trial in a court of law, and little Joey Potter can absolutely no longer keep her shit together. It's exactly like The Breakfast Club! Except not really!

In which we are baffled by a woman’s choice to build herself a reputation for paedophilia rather than just being a well dressed woman who looks slightly older than us.

Jen and Grams have a competition to see who can be the most obnoxious inches away from the face of a woman giving birth and Dawson’s camera gets put to use in a new and inappropriate way.

Content note - sorry not sorry for the use of the word “nonceageddon”, one can only hope it’s the last time we need to for a good few episodes.

Episode 5 - Welcome back! After a hiatus we're back to talk LOT about how shit James Van Der Beeks passing is, and why you should absolutely watch his whole back catalogue.

Also, what the hell happens when a hurricane hits Capeside? Naturally, everyone goes absolutely batshit - We learn that Mitch is building a tiny model restaurant for some reason, no one cares if Pacey lives or dies and Grams naturally sees the inclement weather as a good time to do some extremely bad racism...

Content note - As per, we are forced to say 'nonce' a lot due to the extremely bad behaviour or the Capeside adults, we talk about some of Grams' very bad racist opinions, and for obvious reasons we end up talking about cancer for ages!

In which Dawson wishes all women could just stop being sluts and we acknowledge that we can have big issues with Dawson while simultaneously loving him forever.

In which Joey demonstrates an insufficient degree of deference to Stranger Danger, because all the ladies love a fella on a string instrument. ( Content note -we recorded this ages ago and so we talk about Lily Allen for good 20 mins. Enjoy some late 2025 nostalgia!)