Big "T" trauma. Little "t" trauma. The likes of Gabor Maté and Bessel Van Der Kolk have brought the understanding of trauma far beyond the field of mental health and into everyday life.

But what actually is trauma? How does it impact people's personalities?

If everything difficult is labelled trauma, does that dilute our understanding and treatment of it?

And, of course - how does trauma manifest in relationships? What are the links between trauma and Adverse Childhood Experiences? Between trauma and attachment styles?

How do couples deal with their trauma in healthy ways?

All this and more covered by Graham and Matt in this episode of Crazy In Love.

Contact us at crazyinlovepodcastuk@gmail.com

Relationships aren't fragile. They need healthy stress to make them strong.

In this episode, Matt and Graham explore how the language of emotional regulation and safe spaces - imported from therapy rooms and HR departments - has reshaped what many now expect from their closest relationships. For many couples, modern love means no raised voices and gentle communication. Conflict and arguments are seen as a failure.

What gets lost in the push for comfort is any room for challenge; for the difficult-but-essential conversations that allow you to grow together.

Good relationships aren’t low-conflict; they’re high-repair. Connection grows from working through things, not avoiding it. Conflict isn’t the problem—how you handle it is.

The Psychology Today blogpost they discuss is available here.

Contact us at crazyinlovepodcastuk@gmail.com

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In this episode, Matt and Graham explore the limits of empathy in relationships. Can empathy ever be anything but positive?

Yes. In lots of ways. Drawing on the work of Canadian psychologist Paul Bloom, Matt and Graham talk about how empathy limit connection, make us like those who are more like us in various ways, and prioritise experience over truth.

Are they fully Against Empathy? Find out by listening....

You can buy Paul Bloom's book here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0062339338