Rebuilding yourself after divorce and abuse, and what it really takes to feel fulfilled, with founder and advisor Amy Kauffman.

From the outside, Amy's life looked ideal: a close, loving family, a long marriage, and a tech company she founded and ran. Then it fell apart. Twice.

Amy shares what rebuilding actually required: the moments of reckoning, the victim mentality she had to catch in herself, the tools that helped, and how she knows she is truly fulfilled today. We also talk about the quiet shame high achievers carry, why successful men can be the loneliest at the top, and a simple way to find your core values.

If you are experiencing abuse, you are not alone. In the US, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788 (thehotline.org). Outside the US, find free, confidential support in your country at findahelpline.com.

CONNECT WITH AMY

Amy is a founder and advisor to CEOs, founders and investors, and a mother of two daughters.

Website: https://www.amykauffman.co

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amy-kauffman-a2691417/

ABOUT THIS SHOW

Conversations on a Fulfilled Life is where I talk with people about what it actually takes to build a life that feels as good on the inside as it looks from the outside.

I'm Viv PhD: medical scientist, life strategist, and creator of the Fulfilled Life Method™. A doctorate in medical science, over a decade of clinical practice as an EMDR therapist, and years of work in positive and implementation psychology are why these conversations go deeper, into the psychology underneath fulfillment and achievement rather than just the tactics on top.

New episodes monthly.

PUT THIS EPISODE INTO PRACTICE

The Fulfilled Life Practice is where you put each episode into practice. Go deeper on the lessons from these conversations, plus tools from my Fulfilled Life Method™, so what you hear actually changes how you live. (Mentioned in this episode as the Fulfilled Life Community.)

https://getclearwithviv.com

WORK WITH ME

Work with me one-on-one to get clear on what you truly want, build a strategy that fits your real life and follow through on it, until living that way feels effortless and you genuinely enjoy your life.

https://getclearwithviv.com

Early in your career? Start here: https://getclearwithviv.com

STUCK ON SOMETHING YOU CAN'T MOVE PAST?

Self-EMDR is the self-guided tool I built for exactly that.

https://selfemdr.org

CONNECT WITH VIV

Website: https://getclearwithviv.com

Instagram: https://instagram.com/viv.phd

Facebook: https://facebook.com/VivPhD

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/viviankulaga

What helped you most when you had to rebuild? Tell me in the comments, I read all of them. And if you want more conversations like this, please click subscribe.

CHAPTERS

0:00 When your perfect life falls apart

1:53 Meet Amy Kauffman, founder and advisor

6:39 Why no one gets out of childhood unscathed

8:24 Should you stay and try to save your marriage?

13:11 How to leave a marriage without regret

17:07 Why divorce rips through every area of your life

20:06 What rebuilding your life after divorce really takes

25:39 Life happens for you, not to you

31:15 How to recognize a victim mentality

34:30 Viktor Frankl: finding meaning in suffering

38:49 Lonely after divorce and falling in love too fast

41:33 Why people stay in abusive relationships

46:43 The moment she knew she had to leave

51:53 Who am I now? Identity after big life changes

55:38 Self-awareness: the first tool for rebuilding

1:00:36 The vagus nerve exercise that calmed her anxiety

1:07:44 The hidden shame high achievers carry

1:12:13 Why successful men are lonelier at the top

1:16:00 What a fulfilled life really means

1:18:40 What legacy do you want to leave behind?

1:23:54 How do you know you're truly fulfilled?

1:29:50 A simple exercise to find your core values

1:36:14 How to become more self-aware (5 minutes a day)

#RebuildingAfterDivorce #FulfilledLife #PersonalGrowth

Most people assume a fulfilled life is what you get once things go well. Josh Hull built his after almost everything went wrong.

At 30 he was told he would never work again. Testicular cancer. A heart attack. 40% of his kidney function gone. 55% of the household income gone overnight. Four pregnancies lost. Young onset Parkinson's came later. All of it landed while he was climbing hard and, by his own admission, more focused on the achievement than on what the achievement was for.

He is the founder of The Purpose Driven Co., has built and sold two businesses, and has worked directly with Donald Miller, Dean Graziosi and Tony Robbins.

In this episode of Conversations on a Fulfilled Life, Josh and I talk about the difference between pleasure, happiness, fulfilment and life satisfaction, and why so many people never get past the first one. Why purpose on its own is not enough without values underneath it. What gratitude actually does when it is a practice rather than a platitude. Why he has not spoken to his father in almost ten years, and what watching that taught him about the cost of chasing the wrong thing. And the practical part: how you decide who you want to become, and what makes the decision stick.

WHERE TO FIND JOSH
Josh is the founder of The Purpose Driven Co. and the creator of the Twin Win Method, helping high achievers succeed in business while winning at home. His book Purpose Driven Productivity is out later this year.
https://thepurposedrivenco.com
Social: J Allen Hall

ABOUT THIS SHOW
Conversations on a Fulfilled Life is where I talk with people about what it actually takes to build a life that feels as good on the inside as it looks from the outside.

I'm Viv PhD: medical scientist, life strategist, and creator of the Fulfilled Life Method™. A doctorate in medical science, a decade of clinical practice as an EMDR therapist, and years of work in positive and implementation psychology are why these conversations go deeper, into the psychology underneath fulfilment and achievement rather than just the tactics on top.

New episodes monthly.

GO DEEPER
The Fulfilled Life Community is where these conversations keep going between episodes: monthly debriefs, monthly Q&A, and the full unedited version of every episode. Come and join us at https://getclearwithviv.com

WANT TO WORK ON THIS TOGETHER?
Happy by Design is my one-on-one and small group program for capable, driven people whose lives look good on paper but don't feel that way yet.

I work with a small number of people at a time and I read every application myself. Places close as they fill.
https://getclearwithviv.com

STUCK ON SOMETHING YOU CAN'T MOVE PAST?
Self-EMDR is the self-guided tool I built for exactly that.
https://selfemdr.org

FIND ME
Website: https://getclearwithviv.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/viv.phd
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vivphd
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/viviankulaga/

If something here lands for you, leave a comment. I read them. And if you want more of these, click subscribe.