The people closest to you shape who you become, for better or worse. In this episode of Carpool Confessions Podcast, Kate and Kelley Marie get honest about toxic friendships, Christian friendships, and how to choose an inner circle that helps you grow instead of holding you back.

Kelley Marie shares how childhood conditioning, people pleasing, and loneliness led her into friendships that took a serious toll on her health and safety, and what changed when she started using discernment. Kate talks about coming back to church as an adult, losing her old friend group, and how God brought new women into her life one at a time.

In this episode, we talk about:
✔️ How the people around you shape your habits, faith, marriage, and mental health
✔️ The difference between being judgmental and using discernment
✔️ What “unequally yoked” means for friendships vs. marriage
✔️ Why loneliness and low self-worth keep women in unhealthy relationships
✔️ How to look at someone’s “fruit” without judging their heart
✔️ The layers of relationships and who belongs in your inner circle
✔️ How to build healthy Christian friendships (and why it takes time)

If you’ve ever stayed in a friendship or relationship because you didn’t think you deserved better, this conversation is for you. You are worthy of healthy relationships.

Content note: This episode includes brief mentions of sexual assault and abuse.

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🔔 Subscribe for new episodes every Monday. Next week: boundaries.

#ChristianWomen #ToxicFriendships #ChristianPodcast #InnerCircle #HealthyRelationships #FaithPodcast #CarpoolConfessions

CHAPTERS

0:00 You Are Worthy of Healthy Relationships
2:39 Kelley Marie on Conditioning, Fawning, and People Pleasing
5:51 Your Inner Circle and Being Unequally Yoked
11:21 Why Bar Friendships Aren’t Real Friendships
16:12 Accountability Without Judgment
22:13 Judging Fruit, Not Hearts
24:26 Do Your Friends Have to Share Your Faith?
29:54 Loneliness, Self-Worth, and Settling for Less
34:16 The Year of Isolation That Changed Everything
37:19 Boundaries, Patience, and Building Your New Circle

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Every long-term marriage goes through hard seasons. Whether you’re dealing with distance, constant miscommunication, the baggage you both brought in, or a stretch where you feel like roommates, you’re not alone, and it doesn’t have to stay this way.

In this episode, Kate and Kelley Marie get honest about getting through hard times in marriage. They cover the biggest mistakes couples make (poor communication, unrealistic expectations, and expecting your spouse to read your mind), why it’s so hard to put words to what you need, and how past trauma trains your nervous system to react during conflict.

Kate shares the one conversation that changed how she and her husband handle disagreements: sitting down while you’re both calm and agreeing on how you’ll treat each other the next time you’re upset. They also talk about the seasons of drifting apart and coming back together, serving and appreciating your spouse, and why marriage counseling helps even if only one of you goes.

If you’re in a season of distance right now: a season of reconciliation can come, but it takes effort, humility and service to get there.

Mentioned in this episode:

Our Ephesians 5 episode on what “submit to your husband” really means. WATCH: https://youtu.be/UXSWsWuB9Mc

Our first guest appearance on Abundant TV! WATCH: https://abundanttv.lightcast.com/player/43773/844966

Coming up: an episode on forgiveness and whether forgiving means trusting again after infidelity

New episodes drop Mondays at 7 a.m. on YouTube, Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Subscribe, and tell us in the comments what topic you want next, or email us at carpoolconfessionspodcast@gmail.com.

Chapters

00:00 Intro: a season of distance doesn’t have to last
01:48 Why so many marriages are struggling right now
04:33 The biggest mistakes couples make in hard times
08:38 Communicating your needs, not just your schedule
11:15 RABBIT TRAIL: cussing, authenticity and robocalls (skip to 16:09)
16:09 Our first guest appearance on Abundant TV
19:02 We all bring baggage into marriage
23:31 Pause and plan: handling conflict before it starts
29:17 Seasons of drifting apart and coming back together
33:34 Getting outside help and seeing your spouse’s perspective

Support the show

Love the show? You can help keep us on the road here. 🤍

🚗 New episodes every Monday at 7AM!
Watch on YouTube and listen on all major streaming platforms.

Subscribe to @CarpoolConfessionsPodcast and come ride with us. 🎙️
Follow us on TikTok: @CarpoolConfessionsPod

💌 Want to submit a confession, burden, struggle, or story for a future monthly episode?
Share it anonymously here: https://forms.gle/XQ24bChBwdATbNzz5

Thanks for riding with us. 🤍
#CarpoolConfessionsPodcast #ChristianPodcast #FaithAndMentalHealth

Is forgiveness the same as trust? After betrayal or infidelity in a marriage, a lot of Christians feel pressure to “just forgive and move on.” In this episode of Carpool Confessions Podcast, Kate Shaw and Kelley Marie get honest about why forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting, and why forgiving someone doesn’t automatically give them access to your life again.

We’re still in our marriage series, and this one goes deep: what forgiveness really means biblically (“70 times 7”), why trust has to be rebuilt through accountability, how betrayal trauma can feel like grief, and why a betrayed spouse doesn’t get to control their partner either. Kelley Marie shares what she saw behind the bar as a bartender, and we talk about guarding your marriage, why affairs usually start with unmet emotional needs (without excusing them), and how to stay curious about your spouse as you both change over the years.

Whether you’ve been betrayed, you’re the one who broke trust, or you’re supporting a friend through it, this conversation is for you. You’re not unredeemable, and you’re not obligated to stay somewhere you don’t feel safe.

In this episode:
👉 The difference between forgiveness and trust
👉 Setting boundaries after betrayal without holding onto resentment
👉 Why control is not the same as rebuilding trust
👉 What the Bible says about adultery, repentance and redemption
👉 Healing steps for the betrayed spouse and for the spouse who cheated
👉 How to keep curiosity alive so your marriage doesn’t drift

📚 RESOURCES MENTIONED
Beyond Betrayal: Overcome Past Hurts and Begin to Trust Again by Phil Waldrep: https://shop.philwaldrep.org/products/beyond-betrayal-book
Our previous marriage series episode on emotional distance and loneliness: https://youtu.be/RMpCCIP2GKg

💛 If you’re in an unsafe relationship, you can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or thehotline.org.

⏱️ CHAPTERS
0:00 Forgiveness Is Not the Same as Trust
2:21 When the Betrayed Spouse Tries to Take Control
3:40 What Christians Get Wrong About Forgiveness
6:21 Forgive 70 x 7, But Set Boundaries
11:05 Why Betrayal Feels Like Grief
13:02 Is Adultery Unredeemable? Accountability After an Affair
17:08 Kelley Marie’s Bartender Confessions
21:57 You Are Not Obligated to Stay
33:42 Stay Curious: How to Keep Your Marriage From Drifting
35:04 Healing Takeaways for the Betrayed and the Betrayer

Support the show

Love the show? You can help keep us on the road here. 🤍

🚗 New episodes every Monday at 7AM!
Watch on YouTube and listen on all major streaming platforms.

Subscribe to @CarpoolConfessionsPodcast and come ride with us. 🎙️
Follow us on TikTok: @CarpoolConfessionsPod

💌 Want to submit a confession, burden, struggle, or story for a future monthly episode?
Share it anonymously here: https://forms.gle/XQ24bChBwdATbNzz5

Thanks for riding with us. 🤍
#CarpoolConfessionsPodcast #ChristianPodcast #FaithAndMentalHealth

Can you love your spouse and still feel completely alone? Kate Shaw and Kelley Marie say yes, and in this week’s episode they talk about why it happens to so many of us.

For a change, we’re recording on the drive home instead of on the way to work. This week’s marriage series episode is about loneliness inside a relationship. We talk about couples who slowly turn into roommates, how phones and busy schedules eat up our attention, and what it’s like when you and your husband aren’t on the same page about faith. We also get into how trauma and fierce independence can stop you from letting your spouse be your person.

You’ll also get practical things to try, like the gratitude notebook that changed how Kate saw her husband, writing your spouse a letter, and the small, intentional gestures that tell someone “I see you.” We’re also honest about the harder question: what do you do when you’ve tried everything and your needs still aren’t being met?

If you feel lonely in your marriage, you’re not the only one, and you don’t have to stay stuck there.

Chapters
0:00 Driving home for a change
4:05 Can you love your spouse and still feel lonely?
7:49 When married couples become roommates
9:55 Phones at the table and where our attention goes
14:23 Your spouse can’t read your mind
17:21 When you’ve tried everything: loneliness, resentment, and hard choices
24:22 The notebook that changed how Kate saw her husband
29:41 Small gestures that say “I see you”
34:17 Letting your spouse be your person
37:05 Putting God first and final thoughts

About us: We help women who feel overwhelmed, discouraged, or stuck find hope, healing, and encouragement through honest, faith-filled conversations.

Support the show

Love the show? You can help keep us on the road here. 🤍

🚗 New episodes every Monday at 7AM!
Watch on YouTube and listen on all major streaming platforms.

Subscribe to @CarpoolConfessionsPodcast and come ride with us. 🎙️
Follow us on TikTok: @CarpoolConfessionsPod

💌 Want to submit a confession, burden, struggle, or story for a future monthly episode?
Share it anonymously here: https://forms.gle/XQ24bChBwdATbNzz5

Thanks for riding with us. 🤍
#CarpoolConfessionsPodcast #ChristianPodcast #FaithAndMentalHealth

Wives, submit to your husbands." Few Bible verses get quoted more, and few get misused more. If you've rolled your eyes at Ephesians 5:22, or had it used to control you, this episode is for you.

Kate and Kelley Marie go back to the full passage and to the life of Jesus to look at what biblical submission actually means. Paul's teaching on marriage opens with a call for every believer to submit to one another. He tells husbands to love their wives the way Christ loved the church: by serving, sacrificing, and giving himself up for her. Submission was never meant to make you less valuable, take away your voice, or require you to accept abuse.

Chapters

00:00 Opening: when Scripture gets weaponized
02:23 Kelley Marie: what "submit to your husband" sounds like
03:22 Submit to one another (Ephesians 5:21)
07:09 Jesus is our picture of submission (Luke 22:42, Philippians 2)
10:09 Jesus tells us what leadership looks like (Mark 10)
15:25 Authority without responsibility
19:34 Husbands, love your wives (Ephesians 5:25)
25:30 So what does a wife's submission look like?
26:23 This can never be used to justify abuse
33:14 Bring it home (Philippians 2:3-5)

Kelley Marie also opens up about how this verse was used against her, and why it kept her away from church and from Jesus for so long.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. If someone is using God or Scripture to control, hurt, or silence you, hear this clearly: that is not what Jesus wants for you.

Content note: this episode includes discussion of abuse, including sexual abuse.

Scriptures we talked about (look them up and read them in context for yourself):

Ephesians 5:21: Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ
Ephesians 5:22: Wives, submit to your own husbands
Ephesians 5:25: Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
Philippians 2:3-5: Do nothing out of selfish ambition; have the same mindset as Christ Jesus
Philippians 2:5-8: Christ humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death
Luke 22:42: "Not my will, but yours be done" (Jesus in Gethsemane)
Mark 10:35-45: James and John ask for seats of honor; "Not so with you... whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant"
1 Corinthians 7:4: The husband's body belongs to his wife, and the wife's to her husband
1 Timothy 5:8: A man's responsibility to provide for his household
Matthew 19:8: Moses allowed divorce "because your hearts were hard"

If you need help, you are not alone:

National Domestic Violence Hotline: Call 1-800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or chat at thehotline.org (24/7, free and confidential)
RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673 or online.rainn.org
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988
If you are in immediate danger, call 911

If you're worried someone may see your browsing history, thehotline.org has a quick-exit button, and you can use a private window.

We want to hear from you. Share your story, ask a question or suggest a topic in the comments, or email us at carpoolconfessionspodcast@gmail.com.

Support the show

Love the show? You can help keep us on the road here. 🤍

🚗 New episodes every Monday at 7AM!
Watch on YouTube and listen on all major streaming platforms.

Subscribe to @CarpoolConfessionsPodcast and come ride with us. 🎙️
Follow us on TikTok: @CarpoolConfessionsPod

💌 Want to submit a confession, burden, struggle, or story for a future monthly episode?
Share it anonymously here: https://forms.gle/XQ24bChBwdATbNzz5

Thanks for riding with us. 🤍
#CarpoolConfessionsPodcast #ChristianPodcast #FaithAndMentalHealth

If you are a Christian woman and something behind your closed doors is not okay, this one is for you.

October is Domestic Abuse Awareness Month, and after watching the Netflix documentary The Pastor's Wife about Mica Miller, Kate and Kelley Marie could not stay quiet. A man stood on a stage every Sunday preaching God's word while doing the opposite at home, and an entire congregation sat there and said nothing.

That happens far outside that one church. It happens in small groups, in marriages, in families that look completely fine from the pew.

In this episode, we talk about what grooming actually is and why it is so disorienting when it is happening to you. We talk about why "submission" gets weaponized, what a covenant marriage really requires of a husband, and why the Bible's teaching on divorce is not the trap you have been told it is. We talk about how hard it is to leave, how often the law is behind, and why so many women stay quiet to protect a man they still love.

Here is the part we want you to hear most: reconciliation can stay on the table, but safety comes first. You do not have to stay under the same roof as someone who is hurting you or your children. That is not what God wants for you. It never was.

And if you are the friend who senses something is off, Proverbs 31:8-9 has something to say to you too.

IF YOU NEED HELP
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (1-800-799-SAFE)
Text START to 88788
Live chat at thehotline.org, 24/7 and confidential
Deaf Hotline video phone: 855-812-1001
StrongHearts Native Helpline: 844-762-8483
If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

Chapters:
0:00 Why We Are Talking About This: Domestic Abuse Awareness Month
3:35 The Pastor's Wife: What Happened to Mica Miller
4:34 What Grooming Actually Looks Like
6:39 When His Bible Becomes the Weapon
9:44 Rose-Colored Glasses: Why Nobody Called Him Out
11:54 No Accountability, No Safety: What Healthy Church Leadership Looks Like
14:29 "Can I Even Leave?" Divorce, Covenant, and What God Actually Says
19:45 Submission Was Never Permission to Hurt You
21:52 Get Somewhere Safe First, Reconciliation Second
23:23 Why Leaving Is So Hard and Where to Get Help

You can also reach us directly at carpoolconfessionspodcast@gmail.com. Please do not go through this alone.

We are close to 500 subscribers, so if these conversations matter to you, subscribe, share, and help us reach the woman who needs to hear this.

Support the show

Love the show? You can help keep us on the road here. 🤍

🚗 New episodes every Monday at 7AM!
Watch on YouTube and listen on all major streaming platforms.

Subscribe to @CarpoolConfessionsPodcast and come ride with us. 🎙️
Follow us on TikTok: @CarpoolConfessionsPod

💌 Want to submit a confession, burden, struggle, or story for a future monthly episode?
Share it anonymously here: https://forms.gle/XQ24bChBwdATbNzz5

Thanks for riding with us. 🤍
#CarpoolConfessionsPodcast #ChristianPodcast #FaithAndMentalHealth

Kelley Marie lived in a van as a kid. That is what put her in foster care. She got emancipated at 15, had to drop out of high school, and got braces at 38 because nobody was covering dental care for a foster kid.

In this episode of Carpool Confessions of the Chronically Aware, Kate Shaw and Kelley Marie have the conversation most people avoid: what poverty actually does to a person, why it is so much harder to climb out of than people think, and why "just make better choices" is one of the most damaging things you can say to someone who is struggling.

We get into the benefits cliff that punishes people for taking a raise, why a missing car makes everything else impossible in a small town, how shame keeps people out of church pews and job interviews, and why empathy without action does not move the needle for anyone.

If you are living this right now: we see you, and there is no shame in it.
If you are not: this one is for you too.

RESOURCES
Uplift Mid-Mo, the nonprofit Kate founded in 2019 to help families in Audrain County with rent, utilities, and a sustainable path forward:
https://upliftmidmo.org

Thinking about starting something like this in your own community? Reach out. Kate is happy to walk you through what the last seven years looked like.

Also mentioned: Bridges Out of Poverty and the Getting Ahead curriculum from Dr. Ruby Payne and aha! Process, offered locally in partnership with the Mexico Sustainability Project, as well as Arthur Center Community Health.

CHAPTERS
0:00 "I Was That Kid": Why We're Talking About Poverty
1:35 17.8%: What Poverty Actually Looks Like in Rural Missouri
2:33 $500 a Month, a Van, and Foster Care
4:51 The Benefits Cliff: Punished for Getting a Raise
7:40 "I Should Have Never Gotten You Out of Foster Care"
10:36 What 15 Weeks in a Poverty Class Actually Taught Us
14:35 Why "Just Get a Better Job" Falls Apart
18:02 Crisis Mode, Church Clothes, and Braces at 38
26:27 Empathy Is Lazy. Compassion Costs Something.
30:39 One Bad Month Away From the Same Story

Support the show

Love the show? You can help keep us on the road here. 🤍

🚗 New episodes every Monday at 7AM!
Watch on YouTube and listen on all major streaming platforms.

Subscribe to @CarpoolConfessionsPodcast and come ride with us. 🎙️
Follow us on TikTok: @CarpoolConfessionsPod

💌 Want to submit a confession, burden, struggle, or story for a future monthly episode?
Share it anonymously here: https://forms.gle/XQ24bChBwdATbNzz5

Thanks for riding with us. 🤍
#CarpoolConfessionsPodcast #ChristianPodcast #FaithAndMentalHealth

Are our kids really that different, or does every generation say this? Kate and Kelley Marie both have kids in high school this year, at the same school they graduated from almost 20 years ago, and the differences are hard to ignore. No socializing in the hallways. One lunch line instead of the salad bar and potato bar. Chromebooks instead of paper. And a generation of teenagers carrying anxiety we never had at that age.

In this episode, we talk honestly about parenting teens in 2026: what school looks like now, why our kids are more anxious than we ever were, what social media has done to how they see themselves, and the surprising ways this generation is actually ahead of us. Plus a lot of 2000s nostalgia, because apparently low-rise jeans, barbed wire bracelets, and grandpa New Balances are all back.

We cover pulling kids out of public school for bullying and going back years later, why we think kids need real-world exposure to grow, the literacy crisis and what happens when nobody writes anything down, the math placement disconnect between private and public school, and the moment our 14-year-olds got Instagram and immediately started chasing affiliate deals.

CHAPTERS
0:00 Why Our Kids Feel Like a Totally Different Generation
1:00 Same High School, New Rules: No Hallway Time and One Lunch Line
4:26 Bullying, Private School and Going Back to Public High School
7:24 School Shooting Drills and the Anxiety We Never Grew Up With
9:19 "Who Do You Want to Show Up As?" Picking Friends in High School
10:26 Growing Up Online: Sharenting and the Fear of Being Perceived
11:33 Grandpa New Balances, Low Rise Jeans and Han Solo Season
18:07 Landlines, CD Binders and the Principal's Office Confession
22:05 Dating at 14: Then vs Now, and How Phones Changed Everything
25:56 Chromebooks, Cursive and Kids Who Run Businesses at 14

Tell us in the comments: has your school stopped letting kids socialize in the halls? Are your kids on Chromebooks for everything? We want to know if this is happening in your community too.

If this episode hit home, subscribe for new episodes of Carpool Confessions every week. Two moms, no filter, all the conversations you're already having in the car.

Listen to the imposter syndrome episode mentioned in this episode: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2617875/episodes/19568013

Support the show

Love the show? You can help keep us on the road here. 🤍

🚗 New episodes every Monday at 7AM!
Watch on YouTube and listen on all major streaming platforms.

Subscribe to @CarpoolConfessionsPodcast and come ride with us. 🎙️
Follow us on TikTok: @CarpoolConfessionsPod

💌 Want to submit a confession, burden, struggle, or story for a future monthly episode?
Share it anonymously here: https://forms.gle/XQ24bChBwdATbNzz5

Thanks for riding with us. 🤍
#CarpoolConfessionsPodcast #ChristianPodcast #FaithAndMentalHealth