Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "I should have figured out my life by now," "Nobody needs me anymore," or "I just can't get it together"?

During the empty nest years, it's easy to turn a difficult day or a changing relationship into a judgment about who we are. And when we repeat those thoughts often enough, they can begin to influence how we see ourselves and what's possible for our future.

In this episode of Called to Rise: Empty Nest, New Season, Denise Hines shares a practical way to recognize negative self-talk, question the assumptions behind it, and replace it with words that are both truthful and useful.

You'll learn the CALM Framework, a simple four-step tool for working through discouraging thoughts, along with a technique called distanced self-talk. We'll also explore how faith can help us respond to ourselves with greater patience, responsibility, and grace.

In This Episode:

• How negative self-talk can shape your identity during the empty nest years

• The four steps of the CALM Framework

• Why speaking to yourself using your own name can help you respond differently to stress

• How to recognize harsh assumptions about yourself, your relationships, and God's feelings toward you

This Week's Practice:Pay attention to one sentence you repeat that leaves you feeling discouraged or powerless.

Write it down, then work through the CALM Framework:

• C: Catch the sentence.

• A: Ask what's true.

• L: Look for a truer sentence.

• M: Move one thing.

Choose a new sentence you can believe, then take one useful action.

5 Key Takeaways:

1. Your circumstances and your identity are different things. A difficult day doesn't define who you are or what you're capable of.

2. Specific, believable thoughts are more useful than forced positivity. Describing what's happening accurately helps you identify what to do next.

3. The CALM Framework helps interrupt negative thought patterns. Catch the sentence, Ask what's true, Look for a truer sentence, and Move one thing.

4. Watch for words like "always," "never," and "should." They can turn temporary frustrations and assumptions into sweeping judgments.

5. Your disappointment in yourself doesn't necessarily reflect God's feelings toward you. You can turn to Him for guidance rather than assuming you know His judgment.

Resources:The Next Chapter Clarity Workbook

If one of your recurring thoughts is "what do I do now?" this free workbook will help you begin exploring what matters to you and what you'd like your next chapter to include.

Download your free copy: https://calledtorisecoaching.com/free

Research Sources:

1. Kross, E., et al. (2014). Self-talk as a regulatory mechanism: How you do it matters. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 106(2), 304–324.
   https://doi.org/10.1037/a0035173

2. Moser, J. S., et al. (2017). Third-person self-talk facilitates emotion regulation without engaging cognitive control: Converging evidence from ERP and fMRI. Scientific Reports, 7, 4519.
   https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-017-04047-3

Connect with Denise:Website: https://calledtorisecoaching.com

If this episode was helpful, follow Called to Rise: Empty Nest, New Season, share it with a friend, or leave a review. Your support helps other women discover the podcast.

Your children are grown, but you’re still busy. And when you finally sit down, your mind starts listing everything else you should be doing. How do you make room for rest when being productive has become such a familiar part of your life?

In this episode of Called to Rise: Empty Nest, New Season, we’re exploring the power of rest and what it means to build a next chapter with room for both meaningful goals and time to enjoy your life.

Drawing on Elder Patrick Kearon’s message “Peace and Rest, Even Now,” I share reflections on faith, productivity, and the habit of filling every available minute. We’ll also look at research on breaks during learning and try a simple practice for slowing down.

In This Episode:

• The connection between busyness, identity, and self-worth.

• Faith-centered reflections on rest and making room for your next chapter.

• A ten-minute practice to help you slow down.

This Week’s Practice:

Set aside ten minutes with no new input. Put your phone in another room, leave the podcast or book for later, and sit outside, take a slow walk, or lie down. Notice the urge to make the time useful without immediately acting on it.

Then ask yourself: “Where do I need less?” Choose one commitment or habit to reconsider.

5 Takeaways:

1. An empty nest doesn’t automatically create a lighter schedule. Making room for rest takes intention.

2. Your worth before God stays the same, whether you finish your list or leave things undone.

3. Brief breaks can support learning. Filling every pause with more information leaves little time for reflection.

4. Consider what you want to do less of as you picture your next chapter.

5. Rest belongs in the life you’re living now, even while some questions remain unanswered.

Resources & Links:

The Next Chapter Intensive:
Twelve weeks of small-group coaching to clarify what you want, work through the patterns that hold you back, and take practical steps toward your next chapter. Begins November 3, 2026. Tuesdays, 4–5 p.m. Mountain Time. Maximum ten women; includes one private coaching session.
https://calledtorisecoaching.com/move

Free Next Chapter Clarity Workbook:
https://calledtorisecoaching.com/free

Called to Rise Coaching:
https://calledtorisecoaching.com/

Elder Patrick Kearon, “Peace and Rest, Even Now”:
https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/patrick-kearon/peace-and-rest-even-now/

Research discussed: Rest and motor-skill learning:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8259719/

Scriptures Cited:

Isaiah 30:15

Luke 5:16

Mark 4:38

Mark 6:31

Know someone who has trouble resting while there’s still something left to do? Share this episode with her, and follow Called to Rise: Empty Nest, New Season on Spotify or Apple Podcasts for new episodes every Tuesday.

The house may be quieter, friend. But your life is still speaking.

Do you keep putting off something important because you're afraid you won't do it well enough? Perfectionism can fuel procrastination, all-or-nothing thinking, and harsh self-talk, especially as you're figuring out what comes next after the empty nest.

In this episode of Called to Rise: Empty Nest, New Season, Denise Hines shares a practical tool called Purpose Over Perfect to help you move forward, learn from mistakes, and stop measuring your worth by what you accomplish.

If you're an empty-nest woman ready to get clear about what you want next and begin taking meaningful steps toward it, The Next Chapter Intensive offers 12 weeks of small-group coaching, practical tools, accountability, and a private coaching session.

Our next group begins November 3, 2026, with just 10 spots available.

Learn more: https://calledtorisecoaching.com/move

In This Episode:

• How perfectionism can disguise itself as responsibility, high standards, or even trying to be a good Christian woman

• Why all-or-nothing thinking leads to procrastination and keeps us from pursuing meaningful goals

• How to separate your worth from your accomplishments, parenting outcomes, and other things you cannot control

• The four Purpose Over Perfect questions that help you recognize what matters and take action

This Week's Practice: Choose one thing you've been delaying because you're worried you won't do it well enough.

Ask yourself:

1. What is the purpose here?

2. What matters most?

3. What does this need to accomplish?

4. What can get better later?

Then follow through on a reasonable first version.

Afterward, ask yourself: Did it serve its purpose? What did I learn? What might I do differently next time?

5 Key Takeaways:

1. Perfectionism can keep you stuck. Fear of making mistakes or disappointing others can make preparing feel safer than getting started.

2. Your worth is not measured by your productivity. An unfinished task, difficult relationship, or disappointing outcome does not determine your value.

3. All-or-nothing thinking makes progress harder. Small, imperfect steps still count.

4. You can take responsibility without controlling every outcome. Your efforts matter, and so do other people's choices and agency.

5. Evaluate your efforts instead of judging yourself. Learn what worked, make necessary changes, and keep moving forward.

Resources:The Next Chapter Intensive

A 12-week small-group coaching experience for empty-nest women who want clarity, confidence, and practical support in creating their next chapter.

https://calledtorisecoaching.com/move

Free Next Chapter Clarity Workbook

Start exploring what you want in this next season of life.

https://calledtorisecoaching.com/free

References:Ether 12:27: The Lord knows our weaknesses and offers grace to help us grow.

Let's Stay Connected!

Know a woman who is always hard on herself or keeps putting off something she wants to do? Share this episode with her.

Follow Called to Rise: Empty Nest, New Season on Spotify or Apple Podcasts for weekly conversations about faith, personal growth, finding purpose after the empty nest, and creating a meaningful next chapter.