I would like to begin by being gracious about the election result. Unfortunately, you've downloaded the wrong podcast.

Angela Saggese lost the Ward 1 council race in Vaughan. The record: on May 29, 2023, as a York Catholic school trustee, she voted against flying the Progress Pride flag at the board office for June. The motion lost six to four, students walked out, and at that same meeting the board appointed her to its Gender, Sexuality and Catholic Education Committee. It's in the minutes.

Then the endorsements. Stephen Lecce, our MPP and the Education Minister when that vote happened, who once said the flag sends "a signal of respect and inclusion." Anna Roberts, our MP. Michael Guglielmin, MP for Vaughan–Woodbridge. And Melissa Lantsman, deputy leader of the Conservative Party of Canada, who wrote in 2019 that "unequivocal support for LGBTQ people cannot be up for debate," and endorsed her two days before the vote.

Frank, the polite one in this marriage, asked Anna Roberts a question under her endorsement post. Deleted. He asked again. Deleted again. He didn't even swear. Plus the local businesses that follow The Dad Diaries, said "thanks for letting me know," and kept endorsing. My money is gay. Every dollar.

Ward 1 read the record. Marilyn Iafrate, councillor since 2010, kept her seat.

No sponsor this week. Nobody paid for this one.

THE DAD DIARIES, my memoir, is out now. It's the story of how I became a father to my girls and everything it took to get there. Signed copies at thedaddiaries.com, also on Amazon and Indigo.

This is Joseph Tito, and I bitch so you don't have to.

Got a mess of your own? Send it to info@jeopublishing.com.

More at betweenthecoversmag.com, or read the magazine free in the BTC Magazine app, iOS and Android.

Bitch Fest is a Between the Covers production.

There's a four-month-old pumpkin on my porch. No teeth. Her mother is holding out a pillowcase. Ma'am, that baby can't eat a Coffee Crisp. That's your candy. Take two.

No letter this week. It's Halloween, and I've been standing at that door for years taking notes. The mother forty feet back on her phone yelling "WHAT DO YOU SAY?" at a shark. The mom who answers for her kid like a publicist. The handmade traffic light who can't get up my steps. Every princess in a parka, because it's Ontario. The teenager in a hoodie who says he's dressed as "tired," which is the most honest thing anybody said all night.

Then the houses. The full-size bar guy running a campaign one Oh Henry at a time. The "please take one" bowl that was empty at six-oh-four. The pencil house. Mrs. Rossi and the same box of raisins since ninety-four. And Deborah, lights off, on the floor. We can see the TV, Deborah. Plus Gina's trunk-or-treat sign-up sheet, and the biggest lie in parenting: "nobody eats anything until I check it."

And I'm worse. A few pieces tonight, Papa puts the rest away for later. There is no later.

This episode is brought to you by Michele Mateus of Mateus Studios, photographer, Vancouver (@mateusstudios on Instagram, @mateus_studios on TikTok), and her This Is Me editorial portrait experience. Ten percent off: grab the code in the free BTC Magazine app (App Store or Google Play).

THE DAD DIARIES, my memoir, is out now. It's the story of how I became a father to my girls and everything it took to get there. Signed copies at thedaddiaries.com, also on Amazon and Indigo.

This is Joseph Tito, and I bitch so you don't have to.

Got a mess of your own? Send it to info@jeopublishing.com.

More at betweenthecoversmag.com, or read the magazine free in the BTC Magazine app, iOS and Android.

Bitch Fest is a Between the Covers production.

The sign says pay by app. There's a machine right there. It's got a garbage bag over its head like it's being kidnapped.

No letter this week. This one's mine. I want somebody to tell me when leaving my car in a rectangle became a relationship. The dentist has a portal. Your kid's school has four apps. The menu is a sticker on the table and it wants to send you notifications.

The password that can't be one you've used before, and I've used them all. Pressing "I agree" to God knows what. Typing sixteen digits with a wet thumb while a guy in a pickup waits for your spot. The dollar ninety-nine convenience fee, and whose convenience that is exactly. "How was your parking experience?" It was a rectangle. Sal, the man in the booth who used to be the app. And the scammers putting fake QR stickers on parking machines, which works because the real ones already look like a scam.

And I'm in this one. I have an app. Every sponsor discount on this show lives in it. I could just say the code into the microphone. I'm not going to.

Then the part that actually gets me. Do all of that at seventy-five, with coins, holding a toonie up to a machine that hasn't had a slot in years. Next time you see her, don't point at the sign. Put her plate in your app. You already work there.

This episode is brought to you by Tommy Gun's Original Barbershop in Maple. Ten percent off your first visit: grab the code in the free BTC Magazine app (App Store or Google Play).

THE DAD DIARIES, my memoir, is out now. It's the story of how I became a father to my girls and everything it took to get there. Signed copies at thedaddiaries.com, also on Amazon and Indigo.

This is Joseph Tito, and I bitch so you don't have to.

Got a mess of your own? Send it to info@jeopublishing.com.

More at betweenthecoversmag.com, or read the magazine free in the BTC Magazine app, iOS and Android.

Bitch Fest is a Between the Covers production.