Description:40 episodes in. I talk about how this podcast stopped trying to be a “real” podcast and became what it actually is: a long voice note from the park. About consistency, judgment, portfolios, style, and why I’m done pretending.

Links:• Support on Patreon (Balboa Park tier – €3/month): https://www.patreon.com/graphicjournalclub/membershipPlease subscribe from a browser, not the app (especially on iPhone), so the full amount goes to the creator.

Where I was:Recording on my bike and then walking in Parc Charruyer, La Rochelle.

Hello, and welcome back to Balboa Park.

This episode was recorded while walking through Rome at sunset, after spending a few inspiring days in London. It starts with something as simple as changing the profile picture of the Graphic Journal Club… and somehow turns into a reflection on artistic identity, illustration, tattooing, social media, and the pressure of staying “on brand.”

If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re creating because you genuinely want to, or because an algorithm expects something from you, this episode might resonate.

In this episode

• From London to Rome: why walking has become part of the way I think and record these episodes.

• Why I never studied Fine Arts, and how choosing illustration shaped the way I make images today.

• A regret I’ve carried for years: feeling like I never learned to make art simply for the sake of making art.

• How visiting the Tracey Emin exhibition at the Tate made me question the difference between technical skill and emotional expression.

• Why I replaced the Graphic Journal Club profile picture with one of my rough daily self-portraits.

• The constant feeling that I still have to “prove” I know how to draw.

• How illustration school and years in tattoo studios trained me to create work that serves a purpose rather than work that simply exists.

• Technique versus expression: knowing how to polish a drawing… and choosing not to.

• Why I often realize I’m creating for tattoos, for clients, for products… but rarely just for myself.

• From photocopied zines to blogs, and from blogs to Instagram: how sharing artwork has changed over the years.

• The pressure of staying “on brand” online, and how algorithms quietly influence what artists feel allowed to create.

• Why I think creating for Instagram can sometimes become harder than creating for clients.

• A reminder that maybe I’m overthinking all of this… but also that these questions seem worth asking.

• The conclusion I’ve come to: I don’t want to choose between tattooing, comics, illustration, graphic journaling, or personal work.

I want all of it.

I’d genuinely love to know what this episode brought up for you.

You can always reply, leave a comment wherever you’re listening, or come join the conversation on patreon.com/graphicjournalclub , where you’ll also find the Graphic Journal Club, live Zoom sessions, behind-the-scenes sketches, self-portrait challenges, and the growing community around this project.

Thanks for walking with me.

See you in the next episode.

Hi my friend

Yesterday I spent an entire day wandering through the Tate Modern in London. I went to see the Frida Kahlo exhibition, then Tracey Emin, then Ana Mendieta.

I left overwhelmed because of a question that kept following me from one room to the next.

What makes some artworks feel so intensely alive?

In this episode, I walk through London while trying to answer that question.

I wonder whether being an artist is simply about making art, or whether it’s about something much more uncomfortable: allowing yourself to fully experience life, even when it hurts.

What if the real difference isn’t talent…

…but the courage to let your heart break?

It’s probably the most vulnerable episode of Balboa Park I’ve recorded so far. At one point I even forget the second thing I wanted to tell you because I become too aware of how exposed I feel.

Maybe you’ll recognize yourself in that feeling.

If you’ve ever kept yourself safe, protected your emotions, questioned whether you were a “real artist,” or simply wondered why some works move you to tears while others don’t, I think this conversation is for you.

🎧 Listen to Episode 38 and, if it resonates, I’d genuinely love to hear from you. Just reply to this email. Knowing someone is listening means much more to me than likes or statistics.

The self-portraits are below 👇

Yesterday’s museum visit inspired me to draw several self-portraits. I’m sharing them with you below this email.

Rather than choosing one, I decided to keep them together. They feel like different fragments of the same day.

☀️ Summer Drawing Room

If you’re looking for a quiet space to draw with other humans this summer, remember that the Summer Drawing Room is open on Zoom.

a shared room where we make things together.

🗓️ August 16🗓️ August 23🗓️ August 30

🕡 6:30–7:30 PM (Paris time)

👉 Zoom:https://us02web.zoom.us/j/87521981091

Meeting ID: 875 2198 1091

❤️ Patreon is becoming my real home

You might be receiving this through Substack because, a few years ago, I stopped using Mailchimp. I simply didn’t want to keep paying for another newsletter service, so Substack became the easiest solution.

But the more time passes, the more I realize that this horrible platform isn’t really where I want to build my community.

Patreon has slowly become the place where everything comes together: this podcast, the Graphic Journal Club, live Zoom sessions, behind-the-scenes sketches, challenges, conversations, and all the things that don’t really fit into social media.

If you’d like to support my work (or simply keep following it in one place), I’d love to welcome you there.

Whether you’re a free member or a supporter, Patreon is where I’m putting my energy from now on.

👉 Join me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/graphicjournalclub

Thank you for walking through museums, cities, doubts, and ideas with me.

and before we say goodbye this is the quote from Andrea Gibson I was talking about in the audio:

I don't want to get out without a broken heart. I intend to leave this life so shattered there's gonna have to be a thousand separate heavens for all of my flying parts

See you on Patreon,

Nicoz

🎙️ Balboa Park – Episode 37

Back to the podcast, creative focus, Patreon, merch & where I’m at

After a long pause, I’m back on Balboa Park.

In this episode, I record in the simplest way: audio only, from my bed, with coffee on the side. No pressure, no setup. Just talking.

I share what’s been happening over the past months and why the podcast slowed down.

https://nicozbalboa.shop/

https://www.patreon.com/graphicjournalclub

Shownotes — Balboa Park Episode 36: “The Sound of Silence (and Knitting)”

Description:In this episode, Nicoz shares what happened when they recorded a whole 30-minute podcast… with the microphone off 😅. But the silence became an opportunity to reflect on burnout, creative pressure, and the need to reconnect with the joy of making — just for the sake of it.

From the Graphic Journal Challenge to chaotic knitting, from teaching in Edinburgh to finishing Transformer’s French edition, Nicoz opens up about the dance between creation, monetization, and the simple pleasure of crafting without purpose.

Highlights:

🎙️ The “mute” episode: lessons from a recording fail

✍️ How the Graphic Journal Challenge led to creative burnout

🧶 Discovering knitting as a non-monetized creative space

📕 The joy (and fluorescent colors!) of Transformer finally out in France

🌊 Balancing art, work, and life’s chaos — and why connection matters more than productivity

Links & Mentions:

Patreon: Graphic Journal Club

Instagram: @nicoz_balboa

New Instagram side account: [@chaotic_kn1tting] (for fellow queer knitters 🧶)

Graphic novel Transformer (out in French & Italian)

Hey My Friend,

I just dropped a new episode of Balboa Park, and this one is extra special.

Recently, I was organizing boxes my father sent me after selling his house. Inside, I found journals from when I was 8, 12, and beyond. As I flipped through them with my friend, she pointed out something that shook me: I’ve been graphic journaling my whole life. It made me wonder—how do we archive ourselves? How does documenting our emotions and experiences shape how we see ourselves over time?

In this episode, I explore personal archives, queerness, and memory—plus, I’d love to hear how you archive yourself.

🎧 Watch it here or on Youtube or Listen here or on every platform

📸 and since you’re a newsletter subscriber, here for you the images:

Let’s talk about it. How do you archive yourself?

Join the conversation in the Graphic Journal Club on Patreon

Let me know what you think! And if you enjoy it, share it with a friend 💛

Nicoz

P.S. My new Sleeping in a Binder and I Dreamed Myself Real t-shirts are live! Printed on amazing Comfort Colors tees, (Sleeping In a Binder is with simple front prints and no logo to keep them affordable while I Dreamed Myself Real is a litte bit more fancy with logo and “we are one” trans support logo) . Perfect as a coming-out tee, a gift, or just a way to support my work. 💖 Every little bit helps, and if a few people grab one—well, you know the magic of small things multiplying. ✨

Grab yours here: nicozbalboastudio.com/store

Hey everyone,

I just released a new episode of Balboa Park, where, to ease anxiety, I dive into a Graphic Journal Practice while I have some reflections on creativity, self-knowledge, and the strange ways our brains work when we make art. This time, I talk about the tension between instinct and control, and how we sometimes we don’t have to trust what we think..

Creativity is like making a quilt—each piece feels disconnected at first, but when you step back, a pattern emerges. Michel Gondry once said he loves working with constraints because they force unexpected solutions. That really resonates with me: sometimes the most interesting parts of a project come from what initially felt like limitations or even mistakes.

This is a video episode, where I draw grids and small images as I talk. I start the podcast by drawing because it helps ease my anxiety—graphic journaling has made everything feel more fluid, natural, and satisfying. There’s something deeply calming about seeing the images come together, little by little, like a quilt forming over time.

I also touch on a moment from my own creative process where I fought against the messiness of a piece, only to realize later that the 'mistake' was actually the best part. This episode is a bit of a love letter to embracing the unknown in art and in life. If you're someone who struggles with overthinking your creative work or feeling like you have to have it all figured out before you start, this one's for you.

You can watch it here or everywhere podcast are, even youtube!

Also—I'd love to hear your thoughts! Have you ever had a moment where letting go actually led to something better? Hit reply and let me know.

Thank you for opening this email or listening to the podcast, your presence is everything for me! If you want to support this podcast you can subscribe and share too!

Take care and keep creating, Nicoz

P.S. 🌈 NEW MERCH DROP! 🌈

“I dreamed myself real, and I’m proud of every version of me.” ✨

This new design comes straight from “Sleeping in a Binder”—my daily transition comics about gender, dysphoria, and becoming. If these comics have resonated with you, this merch is for you.

🖤 Comfort Colors Tees – I love this brand! their cotton is soft yet thick and with a vintage feel

🖤 Short and Long-Sleeve Tees – so you can chose according the temperature (I tried to keep the price difference at minimum)

🖤 Denim Tote Bags – Carry your truth everywhere IN DEMNIM, duh!

💥 Limited time, I don’t know if I’ll keep all models and colors – grab yours here now: www.nicozbalboastudio.com/store

and since you read up here, here for you a code when you buy at least one tshirt (or you spend more than 50€): paste the code COZY10 at the checkout. code is available up to next week aka February 19 🚀

Hey there, my friend,

January is usually tough. But this year, I decided to do things differently. Instead of pushing through exhaustion, I gave myself permission to slow down. No more forcing myself to keep Strangeland open every day. No more feeling guilty for taking a break.

In the latest episode of Balboa Park, I reflect on:✨ Why I stopped accepting random walk-in tattoos✨ The five-year journey of Strangeland (from pre-post-pandemic chaos to now)✨ A special client who traveled from Las Vegas just for a tattoo (!?) and another who’s only has 1 tattoo and this tattoo it’s his whole back!

If you’ve ever struggled with balancing creativity, business, and mental health, I think you’ll relate to this one.

🎧 Listen now → on Substack, on apple podcast, on spotify, on audible or amazon music, on… pretty everywhere (search for podcast nicoz balboa park)📺 Watch the episode on YouTube

Let me know what you think! Do you also struggle with slowing down? 👉 Leave a comment on YouTube or reply on Substack—I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Big hugs,Nicoz

show Notes for BALBOA PARK #33 - 5 Years of Strangeland: What I’ve Learned About Hustle, Rest, Creativity & Running a Tattoo Shop on My Own Terms

* Why January always felt overwhelming—but this year was different

* Strangeland turns 5! A look back at its wild journey

* Letting go of the need to "always be open"

* The kind of tattoo clients that bring true joy

* That time someone traveled from Las Vegas just to get inked (!?)

💬 Join the conversation!

* What do you do when you feel burnt out?

* Have you ever changed the way you work to better fit your life?