Apex (2026) - Movie Torture
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Apex (2026) - Movie Torture
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Brad and Mark take on Netflix’s Apex, a movie that somehow combines Cliffhanger, The River Wild, The Hunt, a cannibal thriller, and what feels suspiciously like an AI-generated screenplay. Charlize Theron gets chased through the Australian wilderness by Taron Egerton, who gives her exactly four minutes to run while blasting The Chemical Brothers—and somehow that’s the best four minutes of the entire movie.
Along the way, the guys debate funeral peas, celebrate Brad’s legendary fourth-grade spelling bee championship, question how anyone survives a bear trap, and discover that apparently cannibalism is all it takes for the conversation to turn into planning MTD’s barbecue dinner. Brad decides MTD’s rump roast would be the prime cut, adds slaw and a toasted bun, fires up the Traeger, and somehow Mark ends up worried that if he ever visits Brad’s house, he needs to verify exactly where the barbecue came from.
Oh, and somewhere in there they actually review Apex—a movie Mark describes as about seven different movies mashed together, with none of them being particularly good.
Come for the movie review. Stay to find out why MTD somehow ended up as dinner.