Sensitive Content: child loss, suicide loss, grief, trauma

I'm talking with my friend, Kathy Escobar, today.

This month, and this week for me, marks 7 years since the death of our sons, Jairus and Jared. They died by suicide five days apart from each other and are the reason Kathy and I met early in our grieving and healing process. A beautiful gift in a horrific season of life.

This is part one of a two-part series where we talk about looking back and then living forward.

In this episode we spend some time looking back and sharing bits and pieces of our experience. We choose to talk openly and honestly about grief, suicide loss, and what it takes to live forward because we know that other parents who need this are listening and watching.

It's challenging to share a short conversation about such an important, life-changing topic because there is so much to say. So much nuance and complexity that could be helpful for others. But it's also draining for us so we're offering what we have capacity for and trusting it is enough.

Our aim for sharing is to offer hope to others. And to say you are not alone if you're going through this. It's hard and horrible. It might feel like you'll die because of how intense and overwhelming the pain of losing your child is. But you can survive this.

Some of the things we explore:

• We share a bit about our sons, who they were, and what life was like for them in the years leading up to their deaths.
• The surreal moment of police coming to your door.
• There is life before, and there is life after. We are changed, our families are changed, our experience of life has irrevocably altered.
• What was most helpful in the early years (and what wasn't).
• The necessity of community or safe spaces to tell the truth without advice-giving or pat answers.
• How we all grieve differently so making space for each family member to grieve in their own way is important.
• Trauma therapy was a must-have for both of us.

Join us for part two next week. Take good care of yourself. xo

Support the show: https://buymeacoffee.com/alifeinprogress

Resources

Grief Support: Tools For Suicide or Child Loss | A Life In Progress®

My Beautiful Son's Life Has Ended | A Life In Progress®

19 Bittersweet Gifts As I Walked My Son Home | A Life In Progress®

Connect with Krista:

• Instagram: @a_life_in_progress
• Facebook: @alifeinprogressca and @rebrandingmiddleage
• YouTube: @ALifeinProgress
• Website: alifeinprogress.ca

Connect with Kathy:

• Website (find her social handles and books here): kathyescobar.com
• Her podcast Soul + Practice: listen here

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This is Part 1 of a two-part series on learning to hear and trust your inner voice. In this episode, we’ll lay the foundation by exploring what inner wisdom can sound, feel, and look like, how to distinguish it from fear and conditioning, and the stages we move through as we develop self-trust.

What if the next step in your growth isn’t finding more answers outside of yourself—but learning to hear what you already know within?

If you want to heal, grow, become, and lead your life from your True Self, you need to learn how to recognize, develop, and trust your inner voice.

But that can be easier said than done.

There are so many voices competing for your attention: fear, old stories, conditioning, your inner critic, other people’s expectations, and the constant noise of the world around you. And when you’ve spent years looking outside yourself for answers, it can take time to learn what your wisdom actually sounds, feels, and looks like.

In this episode, we’re laying the foundation for that work.

We’ll explore what inner wisdom can look, sound, and feel like—and how to begin discerning it from fear, urgency, conditioning, and habitual thought.

You’ll also learn about:

• The five sources of wisdom available to you: mind, heart, body, soul/True Self, and spirit.
• Why inner wisdom may show up as a deep knowing, a physical sensation, an image, a sudden thought, a sense of direction, or even a voice in your mind.
• The qualities that can help you recognize genuine wisdom: it tends to feel loving, grounded, clear, and powerful—and it leads toward healthy, wise action rather than rash or fear-driven action.
• Why your conscious mind can quickly jump in with objections after you receive a piece of inner guidance—and why capturing that wisdom immediately can help you develop self-trust.
• The difference between living from conscious awareness and recognizing the deeper patterns, beliefs, and intuition operating beneath the surface.
• The four stages of growth, from living on autopilot to having your True Self become your more natural way of being.
• Why awareness alone isn’t enough—and why awareness and self-compassion need to grow together if you want to stay with yourself through the uncomfortable parts of change.
• Why growth and healing aren’t linear, and how deeper self-trust can open the door to unexpected shifts in understanding and freedom.
• Why learning to listen inward is essential if you want to create a vision for your life that actually reflects you rather than what you’ve been conditioned to want.

The goal isn’t to become perfectly attuned or to have every answer.

It’s to become more familiar with your own unique way of receiving wisdom, so you can begin trusting yourself one step at a time.

Because you don’t need to see the whole path to take the next step.

And the more you listen, the more you learn to distinguish your True Self from the voices that have been shaping your life for you.

Ultimately, this is about creating a different relationship with yourself—one rooted in awareness, compassion, self-trust, and the freedom to live from who you actually are.

So, what happens when you get quiet enough to listen? What might your inner wisdom be trying to tell you—and what would it look like to trust yourself enough to listen?

This is Day 4 of the Quiet the Noise Challenge.

Years of over-functioning, overriding our own needs, or not honouring the truth of who we are and our wiring and capacity, create significant wear and tear on our minds, hearts, and bodies. This often leaves us depleted, discouraged, and running on autopilot.

This level of “wear and tear” is not resolved in a week. If you are experiencing burnout or deep exhaustion, it may not be resolved in a year. But you need to start somewhere. You need to slow down, shore up leaks, clear what you no longer want to carry/tolerate/practice. And you need to create the space/spaciousness in your days, weeks, and year to listen inward and respond with wisdom to what you hear each step of the way.

I hope that you will walk away from this four-day challenge feeling relieved, seen, and inspired. That you’ll leave with a renewed sense of clarity about how to come back into alignment with the life you truly want and the pace you honestly need.

Day 4 invites you to look back, look forward, and live present.

Resources

Registration for Autumn Session of the Brave + Beautiful Community is now open! Become a member.

Join the Challenge live and get the notes and prompts here: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/quiet-the-noise/

Connect with Krista:

• Instagram: @a_life_in_progress
• Facebook: @alifeinprogressca and @rebrandingmiddleage
• YouTube: @ALifeinProgress
• Website: alifeinprogress.ca

Subscribe and Review

If you loved this episode, hit subscribe and leave a review. Reviews help more growth-minded midlife women like you discover this show.

This is Day 3 of the Quiet the Noise Challenge.

Be as honest with yourself as possible about what is no longer serving you. What you want to let go of. Even if you feel afraid. Even if you don’t yet know HOW something could be possible for you. Name it anyway.

Before we add in, we must clear or create space.

Clear mental, emotional, physical, financial space/capacity for what you truly want. For what brings you joy, keeps you healthy, helps you feel fully alive, excited, on purpose.

For example, you may need to let go of relationships, distractions, habits, or physical clutter that prevent you from living fully or on purpose. Say no to wonderful opportunities because they don’t support the vision you have for who you want to be or become or the life you truly want. Let go of inner judgment – all the “shoulds” and doing things out of obligation or to keep the peace even though your health pays the price. Or release your old people-pleasing, comparing, self-judging patterns.

Day 3 invites you to Name the noise. Take action to quiet or clear the noise. Notice how you feel and continue listening inward for wisdom and direction.

Resources

Registration for Autumn Session of the Brave + Beautiful Community is now open! Become a member.

Join the Challenge live and get the notes and prompts here: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/quiet-the-noise/

Connect with Krista:

• Instagram: @a_life_in_progress
• Facebook: @alifeinprogressca and @rebrandingmiddleage
• YouTube: @ALifeinProgress
• Website: alifeinprogress.ca

Subscribe and Review

If you loved this episode, hit subscribe and leave a review. Reviews help more growth-minded midlife women like you discover this show.

Join a community of growth-minded midlife women: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/community/

This is Day 2 of the Quiet the Noise Challenge.

If you don’t believe that you deserve safety, love, kindness, and good things, you will persist in old patterns of over-functioning, being hard on yourself, not resting, or overriding your own wants/needs. Pouring out until you are empty and then judging yourself for being depleted.

If you want to walk in freedom, health, and joy you must be a good friend to yourself. You must give yourself permission to be who you really are and move at the pace you honestly need.

No one else can do this for you. This is your right and responsibility.

Day 2 invites you to practice remembering who you are, giving yourself permission to be your True Self, and receiving what you want and need. All three are required to befriend yourself.

Resources

Registration for Autumn Session of the Brave + Beautiful Community is now open! Become a member.

Join the Challenge live and get the notes and prompts here: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/quiet-the-noise/

Connect with Krista:

• Instagram: @a_life_in_progress
• Facebook: @alifeinprogressca and @rebrandingmiddleage
• YouTube: @ALifeinProgress
• Website: alifeinprogress.ca

Subscribe and Review

If you loved this episode, hit subscribe and leave a review. Reviews help more growth-minded midlife women like you discover this show.

This is Day 1 of the Quiet the Noise Challenge.

The world is noisy! It can be hard to hear yourself in the middle of it all.

But if you want to live with freedom, health, and joy then you must slow down and create enough spaciousness and quiet so you can recognize and then trust your own inner voice.

Day 1 invites you to practice three interrelated steps: slow down, create space, listen inward for wisdom.

You don’t need perfection. You simply need “enough” spaciousness for this season. You simply need to start somewhere.

Resources

Registration for Autumn Session of the Brave + Beautiful Community is now open! Become a member.

Join the Challenge live and get the notes and prompts here: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/quiet-the-noise/

Connect with Krista:

• Instagram: @a_life_in_progress
• Facebook: @alifeinprogressca and @rebrandingmiddleage
• YouTube: @ALifeinProgress
• Website: alifeinprogress.ca

Subscribe and Review

If you loved this episode, hit subscribe and leave a review. Reviews help more growth-minded midlife women like you discover this show.

Join a community of growth-minded midlife women: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/community/

The world is noisy and it can be hard to hear yourself in the middle of it all.

There are the obvious sources of noise: the demands on your time, endless responsibilities, other people’s needs, the clutter around you, and the constant stream of information coming at you.

But some of the loudest noise can come from inside you, too: self-judgment, worry, comparison, shoulds, perfectionism, and the pressure to keep pushing yourself to do more and be better.

And here’s the thing: not all noise needs to be eliminated.

Some forms of noise are depleting and pull you away from the life you want to live.

While other uncomfortable internal signals may actually be wisdom trying to get your attention. Calling you to disrupt old patterns and calling you toward greater freedom, joy, and alignment.

In this episode, we’ll explore eight different forms of noise: physical, mental, sensory, creative, emotional, social, spiritual, as well as the noise that comes from an unhealthy relationship with yourself. And how they may be showing up in your life right now.

You’ll also learn how to:

• Recognize whether the noise you’re experiencing is coming from inside or outside of you—and why that distinction matters.
• Identify what you can actually change, what you need to balance, and where you have power of choice.
• Create counterbalances when a source of noise can’t simply be eliminated.
• Compassionately witness nervous-system responses, grief, and other uncomfortable emotions rather than immediately trying to make them go away.
• Challenge the negativity bias by intentionally making space for hopeful and empowered possibilities.
• Create more spaciousness in your days so you can hear your inner voice beneath the cacophony of the world.

Because learning to truly value yourself requires more than knowing what you should do.

It requires slowing down enough to recognize yourself. To hear your body, listen to your inner wisdom, and begin building the kind of loving, respectful relationship with yourself that allows you to trust what you hear.

So, what form of noise is loudest in your life in this season? And what would it look like to lovingly quiet, soften, or balance it? Or what wisdom is calling for your attention?

Resources

Registration for Autumn Session of the Brave + Beautiful Community begins tomorrow! Become a member.

Circle of impact exercise: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/the-circle-of-impact-exercise/

You can still join the Quiet the Noise Challenge (Sep 22-25): sign up here

Connect with Krista:

• Instagram: @a_life_in_progress
• Facebook: @alifeinprogressca and @rebrandingmiddleage
• YouTube: @ALifeinProgress
• Website: alifeinprogress.ca

Subscribe and Review

If you loved this episode, hit subscribe and leave a review. Reviews help more growth-minded midlife women like you discover this show.