Grab your shopping cart and load it up with chocolate-flavored potatoes to replenish your snack collection. Then, head to the bakery section to pick up some fresh Nerds Ropes, and get some radioactive crayons from the Back To School section. Save some money and sniff some cardboard instead of buying a pizza, and ask someone else’s Grandma where to find the hard candy aisle. Hosted by Daylen Turk, Shelby Turk, Neva Gregory and Wyatt Gregory, featuring Beau Willis.

Intro/ outro music is 900 Convertible by Duke Hugh, used under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-Noderivitives Licensing

https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Duke_Hugh/Beattape_Summer_2010/duke_hugh_-_beattape_summer_2010_-_05_900_convertible

This episode will make you fall out of your seat. Not because of laughter, just because the springs in your chair are unionizing for better pay. Hide the evidence of smoothie cannibalism before the cops show up to arrest you for selling zebras on the dark web. Grab a mattress and a few friends if you want to join the very exclusive 900 Things I Hate fraternity coming soon, where you’ll get fake parents even better than the ones you had. Our mascot is a sea cucumber. Also, who ordered this burrito?

Intro/ outro music is 900 Convertible by Duke Hugh, used under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-Noderivitives Licensing

https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Duke_Hugh/Beattape_Summer_2010/duke_hugh_-_beattape_summer_2010_-_05_900_convertible

Today is the day to finally fill that gaping hole in your life with an old Hereford cow, or maybe 52 of them. Login to baskinrobbins.gov, where you can learn Hibachi table guy knife tricks and hire a psychic to cleanse you of your demonic tan lines. Try your best to survive the Burger King fistfight after your card declines, then across the street, you can order pizza or brownies, but they’re basically interchangeable.

Intro/ outro music is 900 Convertible by Duke Hugh, used under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-Noderivitives Licensing

https://freemusicarchive.org/music/Duke_Hugh/Beattape_Summer_2010/duke_hugh_-_beattape_summer_2010_-_05_900_convertible