Cover of 4:8  ​Being Present with Disappointment: an IFS Perspective

4:8  ​Being Present with Disappointment: an IFS Perspective

4:8  ​Being Present with Disappointment: an IFS Perspective

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In this episode, Susan explores what happens when our children are disappointed, upset, or frustrated — and why our instinct to fix, minimize, or rescue them from that feeling often does more harm than good. Using the example of a child upset about a not getting to wear a favorite shirt, she demonstrates what it sounds like to sit with a child's disappointment instead of steering them out of it, and why that "big fat period" of silence can be more powerful than any explanation.

  • Why rushing to fix or minimize a child's disappointment can quietly signal, "I don't believe you can handle this."
  • Why kids are built to survive disappointment — and how repeated small setbacks build real resilience.
  • Why sitting with discomfort, rather than fixing it, is itself a powerful form of connection

Full transcript here

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