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Closing music - Belesduna

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Episode Summary

(Or: Bad drugs, nonced teachers, and wanking off pandas.)

• Festival Nostalgia: The crew reminisces about early metal festivals, including a 1998 Cradle of Filth set where the singer’s scream literally summoned a apocalyptic thunderstorm that ended the second the music stopped.
• Bad Trips & Granddad’s High: Tales of teenage drug mishaps peak with the hosts smoking out-of-date kitchen herbs until everything turned orange, and a grandfather who accidentally got blasted on poppers while cleaning the bathroom.
• School Traumas & Car Boot Shits: The group trashes secondary school, highlighting a host who sniffed poppers during cross-country running, suffered immediate bowel disaster, and was shoved into the boot of a car to go home.
• Paintball Carnage & Nonce Teachers: After recalling a drama teacher who turned out to be a sex offender, they reminisce about a paintball trip where a host threw a paint grenade directly down his own trouser leg, exploding his pants and deafening himself.
• College Dropouts & Pension Panic: The crew discusses quitting college after being handed a tambourine, abandoning engineering careers, and agreeing to skip traditional funerals so their corpses can be thrown into a dumpster in a weird pose.
• Panda Fondling & Frank the Goat: The episode devolves into a debate about a Japanese job involving wearing panda suits to manually collect panda semen, capped off by a mutual hatred for an aggressive, water-phobic farm goat named Frank.