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Marry Him

The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough
Lu par : Mia Barron
Durée : 9 h et 20 min
5,0 out of 5 stars (4 notations)

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Lori Gottlieb's controversial best seller argues that women often approach love with unreasonably long checklists when they should approach it with an open heart. Mia Barron captures Gottlieb's witty and smart tone. Listening to Barron is like gossiping with a friend; it's hard to stop even when you know you should! With funny anecdotes and revealing personal stories, Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough, may not paint every girl's fairy tale. Still, it imparts a healthy dose of real-world wisdom for listeners ready to be luckier in love. Besides, Gottlieb's humor makes sure this medicine goes down easy.

Description

You have a fulfilling job, a great group of friends, the perfect apartment, and no shortage of dates. So what if you haven’t found The One just yet? Surely he’ll come along, right? But what if he doesn’t? Or even worse, what if he already has, but you just didn’t realize it?

Suddenly finding herself 40 and single, Lori Gottlieb said the unthinkable in her March 2008 article in The Atlantic: Maybe she, and single women everywhere, needed to stop chasing the elusive Prince Charming and instead go for Mr. Good Enough. Looking at her friends’ happy marriages to good enough guys who happen to be excellent husbands and fathers, Gottlieb declared it time to reevaluate what we really need in a partner.

Her ideas created a firestorm of controversy from outlets like the Today show to The Washington Post, which wrote, “Given the perennial shortage of perfect men, Gottlieb’s probably got a point,” to Newsweek and NPR, which declared, “Lori Gottlieb didn’t want to take her mother’s advice to be less picky, but now that she’s turned 40, she wonders if her mother is right.”

Women all over the world were talking. But while many people agreed that they should have more realistic expectations, what did that actually mean out in the real world, where Gottlieb and women like her were inexorably drawn to their “type”? That’s where Marry Him comes in. By looking at everything from culture to biology, Gottlieb frankly explores the dilemma that so many women today seem to face—how to reconcile the strong desire for a husband and family with a list of must-haves so long and complicated that many great guys get rejected out of the gate.

Here Gottlieb shares her own journey in the quest for romantic fulfillment, and in the process gets wise guidance and surprising insights from marital researchers, matchmakers, dating coaches, behavioral economists, neuropsychologists, sociologists, couples therapists, divorce lawyers, and clergy—as well as single and married men and women, ranging in age from their 20s to their 60s. Marry Him is an eye-opening, often funny, sometimes painful, and always truthful in-depth examination of the modern dating landscape - and ultimately, a provocative wake-up call about getting real about Mr. Right.

©2010 Lori Gottlieb (P)2010 HarperCollins Publishers

Commentaires

"I wish I could round up every single woman I know and assign this book for discussion. Gottlieb helps women see how our cultural or private fantasies build up so many expectations that they destroy the possibility of real love and, eventually, marriage. Marry Him is a big fat lesson in how not to get in your own way. Any woman who wants to find true love and hasn’t been able to should read this book." (Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., relationship expert at Perfectmatch.com)

Ce que les auditeurs disent de Marry Him

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Global
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Image de profile pour Dr Fuzzy
  • Dr Fuzzy
  • 11/06/2017

Saved my marriage

My unrealistic expectations didn't stop at the wedding. Listening to this book taught me how to celebrate the amazing things in our marriage I was overlooking while judging our relationship based on messages I was getting from the media

33 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Image de profile pour Talita
  • Talita
  • 11/02/2016

Reality at its best!

A sixty-five year old, sophisticated woman introduced me to this book and at first I was skeptical. Her words keep haunting me. She kept repeating:"You don't need a ten to get married, an eight is great!" I was curious as to what made her get married again at such a matured age? Here I was, 37 and I could't even get a date!
I met a guy but treated him like a friend as I worked abroad and did not see him as a potential someone. To my ignorance, he was falling in love with me and my standoffish attitude made him want me more.
While listening to this audio book, I realized that what I thought was not my type, might just be my type!
I listened to the book twice just to make sure.
Happy to say, I am now in a committed relationship with a man who adores me. He showers me with love and attention. He is loving and caring. And to think I almost made a mistake of letting him pass just because I had a higher opinion of myself and what I deserved, I thought he is too quiet and I thought he was too scrawny!
I now say:"Bring it on!" He turned out to be the love of my life.
I would never have been able to find love had I not changed my opinion about dating. This book states the reality of how we see love. I would definitely recommend this book!!! It changed my life!

32 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Image de profile pour Pamela J Falvo
  • Pamela J Falvo
  • 19/05/2019

Turned my entire perspective around

At 58 I was about to let go of Mr Good Enough. I took an honest look at myself and our situation and I realized he’s not that bad and I’m not that great. I feel happy and relieved.

18 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

  • Global
    5 out of 5 stars
Image de profile pour Yesenia
  • Yesenia
  • 12/02/2017

couldn't stop listening!

it was insightful, educational, with numerous ah ha! moments.... almost made me sad... and for a second feeling hopeless, but in the end inspired! thank you for sharing your reality. I truly related on quite a few levels,. It's time to accept how it is, and change what I have the power to do differently 👍

9 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

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    4 out of 5 stars
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Image de profile pour David N. Day, Ph.D.
  • David N. Day, Ph.D.
  • 26/08/2019

Better than I expected.

I’m a male psychologist who coaches a lot of men and women in dating. I have worked with many a smart, attractive women who couldn’t seem to find a man to marry. So the subject of the book seemed relevant. What got me to buy it is that it was described as funny and readable. But in reading it, I found it was funny, and also well researched and insightful. I will recommend this book.

7 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

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    4 out of 5 stars
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Image de profile pour JTizzle
  • JTizzle
  • 13/08/2017

Hypergamy explained at its finest!

This book is about hypergamy and the grass is always greener approach. This book is not so much on settling as it is towards picking the right traits that matter for a long-term relationship.

14 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

  • Global
    5 out of 5 stars
Image de profile pour Lajuan
  • Lajuan
  • 13/03/2010

Good Book

I enjoyed this book. My daughter is reading it. I purchased so we could share our thoughts. I have been married for nearly 38 years. I really feel for women at this time because it is tough, for both genders. This author takes the time to go through so many areas. It is very informative. Narration good. Thanks

5 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

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Image de profile pour Arimusch
  • Arimusch
  • 09/09/2019

If marriage is in your wishlist, this is a must

First, I was angry at some of the things she stated... I don't agree with some of the arguments presented in this book, I think that not all women want to get married and have children at all and thats ok. However, all the research and insight given in this book is very valuable and so true that it bothers you. I ended up liking it because it allowed me to analyze myself and see how I have a lot of what she describes. It is very reveiling and I think that if you are woman that wishes to get married and have a family this book is a must! if you don't, I would still recommend this just to be able to look at yourself in a different light and improve yourself for your own good.

4 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Image de profile pour Olubunmi Bakare
  • Olubunmi Bakare
  • 17/05/2019

amazing audio! not boring. perfect nuggets

so well read and amazing insight into dating. it was so eye opening. women focus on all the wrong things in men

3 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Stephanie
  • 26/08/2016

very useful!

very useful, straight forward, and thought provoking. practical stories that encourage self reflection. worth the easy read!

3 personnes ont trouvé cela utile

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Image de profile pour Utilisateur anonyme
  • Utilisateur anonyme
  • 28/08/2020

love it

being a male marriage councellor in Switzerland, this audio gave me a deep insight of the "other" side of relationship. cool, how it shows the women side. thank you

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Image de profile pour TalesOfColor
  • TalesOfColor
  • 16/09/2019

All you need is Marry Him

Insightful book about the sometimes chaotic world of marriage. Would recommend to anyone who is trying to better understand their love life.