Although it is the unthinkable, all people think about it at some point, or have it in the back of their minds. Whatever your thoughts about skilled nursing homes are, the images are not always pleasant. Whether you are aging yourself, have aging parents, or have a disability, who will provide for you? Is skilled nursing the answer, and what will it cost? Are you “putting family away” or taking care upon yourself, as families in many cultures do?

Carefully choosing options, knowing what those selections mean, and demystifying the process is the central theme of Love and Loss: The Storied Nature of Nursing Home Care. In it, stories are told by those who have received care, by family members, by care providers, and by the author from personal, inside experience as a resident in six skilled nursing homes and rehabilitation facilities over 26 years. The author amplifies crucial services and activities for which to look and offers nursing home and rehabilitation recommendations, from improving services to volunteering and advocacy. This work sheds light, from an insider’s point of view, on the state of care, nursing home laws, the mystery of care, how others have navigated the murky waters, what they loved, and what they lost.

The author weaves between pain, postponement, and purpose to reveal the intricacies of care in nursing homes and how individuals, families, friends, and health care providers are affected. Included are what it means to be a lucid insider, the state of care, nursing home laws, services, stories from workers and individuals, the necessity of Bingo and therapy animals, a student’s take on abuse, how nursing homes responded to the COVID-19 pandemic, and the need for volunteering and advocacy. The author’s observations are insightful, and her recommendations are fervent with passion. The author ends with how her journey, although discomforting at times, touched lives and brought forth purpose.