You’ve got a business colleague who’s hostile...a client who’s furious...a staffer who’s deeply cynical—how do you get people to do what you want in tough situations like these? In Just Listen, veteran psychiatrist and business coach Mark Goulston reveals the secret to how to get through to anyone, even when productive communication seems impossible.“Here's the challenge,” Mark says. “People have their own needs, desires, and agendas. They have secrets they’re hiding from you. And they’re stressed, busy, and often feeling like they’re in over their heads. To cope, they throw up barricades that make it difficult to reach them even when your goals are in sync with their own.”But the good news is that there are simple strategies that can make you compelling, and break down the walls that keep you from getting through to the people you need to buy into your ideas and goals. Just Listen presents remarkably effective tools and techniques you can use whenever a job, a sale, or a relationship hangs in the balance.How effective are Mark’s techniques? One of his areas of expertise is training FBI and police hostage negotiators to handle life-or-death situations. “The same tips I teach these professionals for building empathy, de-escalating conflict, and gaining buy-in will work in any situation,” Mark says. “Whether you’re a new employee fresh out of school, a salesperson, or a CEO, once you master these skills you can take them wherever you go in your career.” And Mark has proven these strategies in his own 30-year career as a business coach at companies such as GE, IBM, Goldman Sachs, Kodak, Federal Express, Hyatt, and Disney.
With this powerful yet engaging audio book, you’ll learn how to:
”Barricades between people become barriers to success, progress, and happiness; so getting through is not just a fine art, but a crucial skill. Just Listen gives you the techniques and confidence to approach the unreachable people in your life, and turn frustrating situations into productive outcomes and rewarding relationships.
Just listen is a really good way to change your releasonship with People. Your personnal and your professionnal life will defenitly change for thé best.
Some helpful general information. I would have to say that a good deal of the information provided here was common sense. There was also quite a bit of information and tactics that were very unrealistic. The communication or engagement examples seemed exaggerated and not life-real to me, and certainly not applicable to most peoples everyday lives. The focus seemed to be on helping extroverts and type-A personalities listen to those around them better. I have the opposite personality, so I felt the author was not always talking to me.
I have no doubt that Mark is an incredible counselor and hostage negotiator, but I was looking more for an everyday guide to communicating better and more efficiently with those people that I manage in my small non-CEO world.
With that said, I do plan to go back over my notes and try to apply some of his strategies in "better listening" with my work & family life. Maybe I should listen to the book again, and be a better listener. Not a terrible listen, just not my favorite.
133 sur 139 personne(s) ont trouvé cet avis utile.
What did you love best about Just Listen?
Just Listen held my interest--it combines physiologic reasons for why we behave and react the way we do, and then it offers a lot of examples and illustrations. The practical advice and techniques are usable and helpful. I immediately put some of the techniques to work!
What was one of the most memorable moments of Just Listen?
I enjoyed many of the stories--from the hostage situation to the executive preoccupied with his wife's biopsy. The narrator is compelling, using good voice inflection and emotion.
Have you listened to any of Walter Dixon’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
I have not. Mr. Dixon's narration was as good as any I have heard.
What’s an idea from the book that you will remember?
There are many ideas that I will use. I have already used the one about telling an employee that I should improve his environment to incentivize him to work harder. I would also like to start using the
Any additional comments?
It was interesting that many of the techniques are similar to those in Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People!
35 sur 36 personne(s) ont trouvé cet avis utile.
About 1/3 of the way through this book I was still doubting it's depth. It promises to give some pretty powerful insights at the beginning, and I was not initially getting that. But eventually the book does deliver on it's promise. His stories of real-life interventions paint a clear picture of the source of many of our day-to-day problems. Since we are so busy, we develop fast ways of interacting with our world in a kind of one-dimensional way. We tend to see things from one simple perspective: our own.
I'm in sales, and often find myself sitting across from someone who is closed off and not letting me in. After all, I am trying to sell them something. But after listening to this book, I have a way to go beyond the transaction and connect with the person. What are they feeling? Is it fear, anger, insecurity? How can I make them "feel felt"? If I slow down and recognize that their needs are real and not just distractions to be talked over, we can communicate. That can result in a sale which I might not otherwise have gotten, which is good. But it nearly always results in better communication, which plays a very important part in all the other things I would like to accomplish in life. Thank you, Mark. Well Done.
78 sur 83 personne(s) ont trouvé cet avis utile.
Excellent book that goes into listening as well as questioning and leading conversations. He goes beyond the standard mirroring and focusing on others that most books on listening suggest. It also included some powerful suggestions on sales lines. On the downside there were parts I would skip for they were a little presumptuous and other parts that I do not agree with. However, there were enough great parts to recommend this book.
20 sur 21 personne(s) ont trouvé cet avis utile.
Any additional comments?
This book walks through the details of how to actually listen to anyone, and how to get through to those who may be difficult to deal with. This book has changed my interactions at work and enabled me to be a more effective communicator and leader. Would recommend to anyone who is interested in self-improvement, especially in the areas of communication.
The reader was easy on the ears (I wish he read every book I wanted to listen to!)
17 sur 18 personne(s) ont trouvé cet avis utile.
The tone of the book is like that of a car salesman--not the smooth, unctuous persuasive sort, but the loud obnoxious kind for whom the most basic social queues are entirely enigmatic. The kind that accidentally chases people away and can't figure why. I expect the author started in sales and took psychology to understand why he couldn't manipulate people the way he wanted. Still ... points to him, i bought his book.
His tactics include mirroring to invite dialogue (which is fine but old advice, and entirely basic) and breathing through ones nose to calm down out of "animal mode" (who hasn't seen this on TV?). This book might have been the product of an epiphany (or several) for the author, but I can't imagine it would benefit anyone with an average emotional IQ.
I became embarrassed for listening to it, and became frustrated because he seemed to want to teach listening as a tactic rather than a practice; as a "means" rather than an "end." As though listening were a necessary evil for gathering attention, influence, or affection and not valuable in itself. (Why not simply listen because people need to be listened to?) I bought this wanting to improve my listening ability, not to trick people into talking to me, not to "appear interested", and not to get people to like me. The author is too often trying to teach how to appear interested and sincere as though sincerity were not natural and people were not already interesting. Also the author is so frequently the hero of his stories and so often beings them with I, I, I, me, me, me that it counts against his claims of being an extraordinary listener. No one likes to spend time with someone as enamored with himself as the author seems to be. The title though "just listen" is sound advice.
148 sur 166 personne(s) ont trouvé cet avis utile.
An audio book full of real life examples, very practical answers, good intonation, applicable in business and family life! An excellent book for me, hope that many people could listen/read it!
13 sur 14 personne(s) ont trouvé cet avis utile.
Me: "Well, Dr. Goulston, I'm a lawyer. I end up in some pretty nasty fights on a fairly regular basis. I wanted to find out if there was anything I could do to defuse the argument without running to a judge for a court order."
Dr. Goulston: "And the book helped you how?"
Me: "I found out that people who are really angry may not be thinking at all. It's called 'amygdala hijack,' primitive brain has taken over, and the person is in "fight or flight" mode. I also found out when someone is attacking and reacting, turning beet red and blustery, they are thinking with a higher emotional brain. And I learned that to get someone to look logically at a situation, you need to have them thinking with their highest, rational brain."
I listened to "Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone" (2009) by Mark Goulston, MD, twice - because I wanted to know how to calm a fight over legal and evidentiary issues, and help my teenagers work to 'fix the problem, not the blame.' Long ago, I discovered saying, "Just calm down" in either situation had about the same effect as telling someone to 'f*** off'. I didn't know why, but I do now and I know what to say - and do - next time. I won't yell back. I won't point fingers. I will use the techniques Goulston recommends to decelerate the ire. That includes asking 'fill in the blank' questions - like the title to this review.
I have some valuable techniques that I've started using - although I'm not the target reader/listener. "Just Listen" is directed towards supervisors, managers and execs; and salespeople. A good third of the book discussed handling situations I don't find myself in. I expect someone in those jobs will find this book even more helpful than I did.
[If this review helped, please press YES.]
102 sur 116 personne(s) ont trouvé cet avis utile.
This book gives plenty of realistic scenarios: my teenager son hardly tells me anything, I have to work with a co-worker who's constantly angry, my boss doesn't get what I'm saying, and my spouse and I are always fighting. As you're listening to these scenarios (complete with realistic dialogues), you think "Yes, I've been there. What do I need to do to fix it?" The author then gives solutions that move people from arguing to empathizing to listening. The solutions aren't earth shattering. The secret is knowing the right things to say. Just as the solution to being healthy is exercising and eating well. The secret is finding a routine that works for you. I'm sure I'll be referring back to this book. After I absorb the ideas, I would have to go back and find the methods and dialogues that would fit me.
15 sur 17 personne(s) ont trouvé cet avis utile.
What made the experience of listening to Just Listen the most enjoyable?
Very vibrant and exciting information eye opening and very honest outlook
What was one of the most memorable moments of Just Listen?
It does not place blame in any one person but on all for true problem solving
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
I was very moved when I found out all the things I was doing wrong and how I could be the problem as well as others perception to me
Any additional comments?
I listened to this book 3 times and learned a lot each time I did take your time and make the best of it that you can
19 sur 22 personne(s) ont trouvé cet avis utile.
I have to say, I was really disappointed with this (audio) book; basically what I got was an author who reiterated, over and over, why he was really great and rad and awesome and had people skills like nobody else, and told me why I had to copy everything he told me. But what he had to offer was all really basic: when you talk to someone, act interested in what they're saying. Ask how they're feeling about it. Make them feel like the center of attention. That sort of stuff. It was all so OBVIOUS -- and, of course, redundand. I didn't listen to the entire book, which is something I have NEVER done before, but t just made me rage to listen to him.
Oh, and there were some things that were just odd. I remember from another audio book the story of the author, a psychiatrist, treating a suicidal woman; at some point, he felt the room get cold and gray and dark, and he figured he was feeling what she was feeling, and it was bad -- so he said "if you want to kill yourself, I won't judge you", and she said "if you understand, maybe I won't have to"... something like that. Now in THIS book, the author ALSO tells this story, only this time he says it was HIM talking to the woman. Yeah... something smells fishy about this. Come to think of it, this guy claims to have done all kinds of really amazing things... saved people from commiting suicide, talked people out of killing hostages or starting a killing spree... gosh, all this in ONE man. Astounding.
So, yeah, I do not recommend this, unless you like to listen to someone tell a lovestory to himself in front of an audience that happens to be there and needs to learn a lot from HIM.
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