Is it okay to feel grief as the parent of a neurodivergent child? Dave and Emily turn up in their pyjamas, coffee in hand, to talk honestly about the quiet grief that creeps in when you compare your kids' lives to other families'.

This isn't grief for our kids. We adore them exactly as they are. It's the micro disappointments: friendships that happen online instead of at the park, the birthday party that went wrong, the safe food cooked upside down, the drop-off that never happens. Then we flip it and share the big little wins that make it all worth it: a first solo shave, a gig with a 15-year-old who wanted Mum there the whole time, and a list in a notes app that got a family through burnout.

We finish on the question every parent of a neurodivergent teen carries: will they be okay when we're gone?

What's one big little win your family had this week?

And if you're a neurodivergent adult, or you love one, what does life look like for you after school? Tell us in the comments.

CHAPTERS:

00:00 Why we're in our pyjamas
01:20 Comparing our kids to other families
03:08 "I never had any expectations"
08:22 Grieving the experience, not the child
09:37 Friendships look different now
13:43 Wanting to go, and what it costs
16:18 The Optimus Prime birthday party
18:40 Waiting for the phone call from school
20:44 Footy, Starfish Nippers and finding a fit
26:32 The micro disappointments
30:40 The Father's Day food quest
35:32 The upside-down pizza
38:44 Why would they understand?
39:50 Flipping the script: big little wins
40:34 The camping dinner win
48:53 "Mum, I want you with me"
51:52 Movies with my son
52:47 The shower win
53:58 First solo shave
56:17 Keeping a wins list
57:47 Will he be okay when we're gone?
1:04:04 Dignity, not discipline
1:06:27 Celebrate the person, not the outcome

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