As much as I believe you want every guest to feel like your church is alive and they can belong, we have an opposing force to that desire so strong that it is crippling the big “C” Church as a whole—the American way of life.

In his article, The Misunderstood Reason Millions of Americans Stopped Going to Church, Jake Meador writes, “Contemporary America simply isn’t set up to promote mutuality, care, or common life.”

Simply put the American way conflicts with the way of Jesus.

Consider one of the composite characters in the book The Great Dechurching. The character is described as a 30-something woman who grew up in church.

She meets a less religiously engaged guy; they get married, and, at some point early in their marriage, after their first or second child is born, they stop going to church.

Another case is someone entering early or mid-career, working a high-stress job that they feel demands a 60—or 70-hour workweek.

Add to that 15 hours of commute time, and suddenly, about two-thirds of their waking hours in the week are already accounted for.

After a few weeks of either scenario, and many others we could examine, the thought of going to church on Sunday and creating a hospitable environment for someone else feels like a burden.

The underlying challenge for many of us is that our lives are stretched like a rubber band about to snap, and church attendance and participation end up feeling like an item on a checklist that’s already too long.

The merry-go-round of related emotions leaves us feeling guilty but justified. We feel guilty because we know what we should do, but we feel justified because life is what it is.

But a vibrant, life-giving church requires more, not less, time and energy from its members. Being a part of a life-giving church invites us to prioritise one another over our careers, prayer and time reading scripture over accomplishment, coming to church and creating hospitable environments over a “slow Sunday.”

We host an eternity-changing event every week, and if we follow Jesus' example, we must be good hosts in our homes and not let the American way get in the way of the way of Jesus.

Christianity is fundamentally an outward-facing faith. Based on Jesus' last command on this Earth, I say that we should make disciples of all nations. [Matthew 28:18-20] The beauty of that command is that it is very direct and vague. It tells us what to do. It does not tell us how to do it. This has given the church, at large, the freedom to adapt its local context while simultaneously holding on to the essentials.

Because of our context here in the States, most people's journey toward Jesus begins when they meet a Christian who is an active part of a local church. That Christian invites them to come to Sunday worship. They experience Jesus and His people; we hope this becomes the jumping-off point for their spiritual journey with Jesus.

So, for those of us who have friends, family, neighbors, and coworkers we love who don’t yet follow Jesus, we want to create a church environment that those we love will want to return.

The American culture is working tirelessly to make your life more siloed, isolated, and disconnected from community so that you will depend on it for your purpose and satisfaction.

In this host culture we all live in, there is no greater problem that we face than a siloed, isolated existence. From the rise in depression, the rise in suicide, political polarization, and addiction, to the extreme beliefs that people hold with conviction no matter how it conflicts with reality… I could keep going — it is all amplified by the extreme level of isolation and disconnected lives our culture wants us to live.

Here is what I find fascinating; I don’t have to spend any time convincing you about this. Nearly everyone hearing this would go yeah. The truth is we all pretty much resent the way this life is but feel powerless to do anything about it. Short of buying a plot of land in South Dakota and starting a commune with a group of friends, getting out of this way of life feels impossible. So, for most people, the answer is just apathy.

I need you to know that what you feel here is not wrong. This way of life that our host culture wants us to live is the opposite of God’s design for us. The Bible, and specifically Jesus, believes that every person should be part of a unified community where they can love and be loved.